My name is Plastic and I am more than just a girl, I am one of the special ones and I keep this dream inside. I usually get the best customers of all the other girls. I know the tricks, the talk and yes, I have a few extra qualities as well. I am very limber, I can pull my leg straight up against my body and hold it there for hours. Plastic gets paid more than the other girls for this quality alone. I am cute, ditsy and usually take in enough to keep me content. But, as all working girls seem to be, Plasic is unhappy, yes I am. Basically, I dream of owning my own business and being able to live normally for a while. I have many dreams but unfortunately, they were just dreams often drowned out my grunts and gasps...and other disturbing things I have grown used to. There are six of us in Patterson's trailer park and our business is kept on the DL. Small towns have their share of hidden pleasures. Small towns also have their Politicans and high falutin business men who sneak out to the slums for things they cant get at home. I find it stinky funny sometimes.
Our 'pimp' is George. He is okay, most of the time. Only a couple of occasions that he hit Plastic and that was because I stole his drugs. I fight with that urge sometimes but I can stop when I want. George gives some candy, says it keeps me from losing it, but he only wants me to have it when HE wants me to have it. Bastard. Sometimes I cant wait for him to give it to me, you know. Plastic cant handle her demons and I did break into Georges trailer and snort a couple lines right on his floor beside him. As he slept, I would take some more and get out. Th George always found me. I don't remember it all, but George changed when I stole his stuff. But George wouldn't beat me then, he would wait. Wait till I was sobered up enough to see how much I screwed up. George would enjoy his lessons, beating Plastic while he laid his pipe for the night. I just tended to zone out and enjoy the intricate patterns on his ceiling. As with the cocaine bender, I tried not to feel anything with George inside me.
Plastic loved the others, they had been here with me for years. There was Muffin, Toy, Ginger,Star and Tricks. They were all great friends and shared their down time playing cards and drinking with me. Toy and Star were in a relationship together and sometimes fought, but overall, they were pretty happy. They each had a small trailer at Pattersons, as I did, but shared meals and babysitting jobs. I have no kids but Star,Muffin and Tricks have a couple. I often babysit for booze...seems a good trade off.
The kids were fine, don't assume a couple hookers can't raise good children. Star's daugher was in the gifted class and Muffin's twins were on the Math league. Some of those rich bastards didn't have smart kids like Muffin. And Muffin was a wonderful cook. There wasn't anything that bitch couldn't make. Sometimes, I wonder why we are here, why we do what we do. I just remember that it all went down hill when the jobs started to disappear. And, besides the occasional tiffs with George, he was okay. He paid us well and sometimes gave us some free shit he found. Gave us purses, clothes and even some cheap jewlery. Says it was given to him but I just think he had been dumpster diving. Doesn't matter, it's free.
It was a night much like this when I really fucked up. I was geeking again and decided to sneak over to George's trailer for some powder. But when I opened his door, he was waiting for me. He had learned my patterns and so he was ready. I just remember seeing his face and then seeing all those damn stars...then darkness.
When I woke up, George was standing over me poking me with what the good lord have given him. I knew what he wanted and gave it to him. During the whole ordeal, he was rough. He called me names and tried to hurt me. A couple time, I almost puked. When it was over he walked away and sat on the bed. He told me to go get cleaned up and then come right back. He said we needed to talk.
I went to the bathroom and puked. I was still reeling in a spasmodic delirium from the forcefulness of George's rape. I had never expected to see him awake and never had he hit me so hard over the head. My brain was spinning. I had no idea what he wanted to talk to me about. I put my face to the sink and splashed cold water across my eyes, nose and mouth. I felt strange but the cold water woke me up a bit. What did he want? I couldn't deny the fact, that for once in the time I had worked for him, I was frightened.
When I went out to George, i saw it. He held a gun and motioned for me to sit. Then, as smiled, he spoke. "This time, you have went too far."
As his world rang in my throbbing ears, I frowned. I had no idea what he spoke of. I can't imagine him getting this mad because of a little cocaine theft. George was truly mad. That lump they all talk about was sitting in my throat threatening to choke me. "I don't know what you are talking about, George. What's going on?"
"You little liar, you come in here every week and steal my coke. You know, I even look over that and a good beating is all you seem to need to keep you away. But, you don't take my money." Greorg'e lips twitched and the gun shook. It was obvious that he had done a couple lines already. He was flying high and probably a little trigger happy. I was terrified.
"George, I really have no idea what you are talking about. Yes, I take some powder from you, but I never take your dough. I am good with what you pay me."
But George wasn't convinced. His hand shook and he stood. That is when I noticed Mufffin. She was hiding behind Georges loveseat with a gun of her own. she put her finger on her lips and winked at me. I was confused.
"I want my money or you will die. I will kill you right here."
As I backed toward the door, Muffin stood and pointed her little handgun at George's back. I returned my gaze to the pimp and stiffled a gasp. This was it, I knew how much money George was missing and it was probably in Muffin's purse right now. There was enough money to keep all the girls up for months. George had been saving, and I thought I was the only one who knew. "George, I promise you, that I did not take your money."
"Bullshit, you are the only one who knew. You are my favorite, Plastic. You were my favorite." George genuinely looked hurt by my betrayal.
At that moment, I made a strange decision. I winked at George and touched the left side of my lip. He spun and blasted Muffin in the chest. I screamed. Muffin fell and hundreds fluttered from Muffin's falling purse. Both George and I stood for a long moment and stared at his missing money. He lowered his weapon and started to pick up the hundreds. I had a sudden sick feeling as I thought of Muffin's twins. But this is a dog eat dog world,right. Basically, we are all pimps and prostitutes. I smiled. At that thought, I retrieved George's gun and shot him in the head. Whatever came over me had enough sense to pick up the money and shove it back into Muffin's bag.
Before I left, I made sure I found George's bullets. I was still trying to figure out if I had the guts to kill again as I slammed the trailer door and headed into the night. My hand shook and I realised I had crossed a line. I had money, and I was going to get my dream. I think the bullets were for all my obstacles.
The next morning I walked from the woods into a clearing on the edge of the bordering town. I saw them everywhere. Going into stores, driving cars. Everywhere I looked, I saw pimps and prostitutes waiting to betray me. I loaded my gun because I had a dream.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
A dream I once had...the end
"Ironically, my real parents were the victim of Casper's hunger as were the two that he assumed were my parents. In the same village, I lived as a human child and there was visited by Casper and his two brothers. A century before, I was a lively seven year old child who loved to do all the things that children do. I had heard stories of vampires from my older siblings and they struck fear in me, keeping me from sleeping at night. One night, screams awakened me and I ran to the front of the little shack. I saw fire through the windows and I saw father in the hands of some strange man...there amongst the flames. Another man held my mother in his arms and had his face buried in her neck...now, I know, he was drinking her blood. When they sensed my presence, they came for me...straight into my home and picked me up. I remember ho they doted on me about how cute I was. They thought it humorous and both enticing to look upon my childlike innocence. I was horrified and sobbed in their grasp."
I watched Patricia's face change as she told her story. I felt the pain she felt at losing someone she loved. But the coldness in her eyes was the surest emotion I could feel and see. Patricia hated Casper and she wanted to destroy him.
"We must kill him now, Betty." Patricia looked up and shrugged away the air of reminiscence form her face. "We must strike and end this. I am finding it harder to mask my thoughts from him and even almost impossible to hide my immortality. I feel him sqirming and trying to figure out what is going on in our circle."
I moved to her and dropped to my knees. She backed away and the sound of her hair brushing against her back unnerved me. She no longer wished to touch me at all. There was no child here, only a short feind who wished to annialate those who gave her torment.
"Patricia, can you at least finish your story for me...please." I reached out to stroke her face and this she allowed.
"They bit me, they took turns taking my life from me and they laughed all the while. My mother lay at their feet, half dead, and sobbed for me. She reached for me, this I will never forget. My mother was so beautiful."
"They finished her off and then started to fight. I was barely aware of what was happening but It got very violent between Casper and his brothers. Apparently, they fought over who was to finish me and who was to loot the village. As the altercations insued, Tedrifer, Casper's brother, cut Casper across the face with his claws sending him down onto the ground on top of me. I remember his crushing weight on my little body and I remember something else. I remember the taste of vampire blood in my mouth as Casper screamed and spit in anger. The more they fought, the more they fell upon me and bled into me. I felt it in my eyes, my mouth and almost drowned on vampiric blood. The cut and bit each other and healed repeatedly. Not once did they pay attention to what they were doing. Finally Casper's brother Simson took me from the ground and finished me off. Then there was darkness."
Patricia looked down at her tiny hands and sighed. I could see that she was both sad and angry. I tried to read her mind but it was a stone wall. I could only guess at what she was thinking. Joseph returned from the shadows and crouched by her side.
"Madame, would you care for rest now? Do you need more subdtanence to remain warm and livid?" You seem pale again."
Patricia looked at JOseph and smiled. "I no longer need to hide, my darling." She reached up and pulled his face to hers kissing him lightly on his lips. "We must strike him now!"
Casper stood in the corner of the room seperating himself from the shadows. As he pulled from from the darkness, he smiled. His face showed revelation and humor.
"I see how you have tricked me little one...or old friend." Casper smirked and looked down toward the little brown haired angel.
Patricia smiled and spoke "I see no point in making such statements or giving any silly speaches. I think we should just get on with it. I see no reason to draw this out...I want you dead, 'father'.
Casper hissed then laughed. "And how do you suppose you will accomplish such a task with such.....little legs." Casper howled and held his stomach. He was oblivious to the silhoettes forming outside the little shack. He didn't even pick up the brainwaves from such creatures which might do him harm.
"My little legs have nothing to do with what I am capable of doing to you." Patricia tilted her head and continued. "I come from a place that lives with the supernatural as an everyday occurance, in fact the supernatural is quite natural to us. I have a present for you, Casper."
At that statement, the door flew open and bodys shambled through the threshold. They were putrid rotting things which moaned and grunted as they stepping toward us. The flesh barely clung to the bone but they moved none the less. Their eyes were filled with some strange light that both me and Joseph gawked at.
Casper turned and made some choked noise then backed away from the shambling bodies. Two then four then six shambled through the door. The mass came close to me but never made any indication that they noticed me at all. I pressed my dead white body against the wall and watched. Patricia hid one hand behind her back and fingered some funny shaped thing. I moved round the room to get a better look at what she had in her hand; a closer look and I saw that it was a small doll...an ugly one with shaggy brown hair. She squeezed the doll harder and shook it. Casper's expression changed and he backed away almost falling into Patricia. As one of the corpses reached toward him, he did fall and land at the little girl's feet. Joseph watched in horror as I did. Patricia spat in his face and spoke some language that I did not understand.
"Patricia, what is the meaning of this? Can we not do without such disgusting displays of power, my dear child?" Casper was scared no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He floundered and pushed against the ground but something held him down. "What? I cannot move!" Casper grew angry and glared at patricia.
"No, you have killed your last child, maker, master, father....killer." Patricia had him right where she wanted him and she bent to attack. Her little fangs burst through Casper's scalp as her free hand grasped his neck. Casper spun and slapped at the corpse nearest to him and pulled at Patricia's chocolate brown curls. She growled and dropped the little ragged doll onto the floor. She pounced on Casper again and sunk her teeth into his neck. Two of the corpses pulled at Casper's legs as he kicked. Casper screamed and beat at Patricia's face.
I felt myself move toward the crowd of undead frenzy. I had no control of my own and I felt her in my head. JOseph moved with me and took hold of one of Casper's arms. He bit down into Casper's wrist and began to drink. I fell upon him and bit down into his chest.
Before long, Casper stopped moving and the crowd of corpses fell into eatin him. Darkness came for me and I welcomed it.
"I found myself in the village of my childhood, the one where he killed me. I stayed there for months, feeding upon the sick and the wastes of the town. A couple took me in and cared for me. I guess you wonder how I fit in with the humans, how i passed for human to begin with. Well, my dark skin was always a shade or two darker even when I did not feed...so you can guess, that if i was filled with fresh blood then I was almost as human. The fresh blood would flow inside me and keep me livid. I can lock you out completely if I want....putting a wall around my mind, and this I taught Joseph when I made him. And you wonder how I came to perfect this gift...I learned to mask my thoughts years ago because of my weaknesses. You see, to others I am a child and being a child...small stature, and small hands...I have to learn more abilities in order to feed. As with the cripple or the fatherless...I must learn basic survival skills to compensate for the inability to grow taller or larger. I found others as I am and they taught me how to mask my thoughts. I can virtually become non existant If I wish it so. I have become a being of strategy. And with this being said...this is my plan for you.
You are mine...I will not mistreat you, nor will I slaughter those you love. You can pretend that I am your daughter if you wish...but I will disappear and come and go as I wish. If anyone is to answer to anyone else...it will be you to me...as with JOseph. If you find it amusing, You two can become my father and mother and we can move about feeding as a family."
"But make no mistake...I am no child...and If I choose, I shall disappear forever. I let Casper bring me to you because I felt your pain at losing your family, Betty. I am sorry for your loss. If you wish it, I can end your suffering."
I looked at Patricia and smiled. I did not see a child at all but then I did see a beautiful little girl. I was torn. I hurt more now than I did when I was running and hiding and trying to save her. I spoke to Patricia as if I had failed her.
"But, I wanted to save you...to keep you from becoming one of us..and yet you already were." I dropped my head and dry sobbed. I felt JOseph's hand upon my shoulder and his whispers attempting to comfort me.
She spoke..."YOu cannot save the world, Betty. The world is dying and we shall be the reapers. Let's find them...the cruel...and feast to our heart's content."
I looked at her again and saw the child. I saw the beautiful brown haired angel who with dirty dress was brought to me by Casper. I felt her tiny hands clutch to my chest inside my coffin. I felt her little sighs as the sun began to rise. I missed my babies more now that I had in such a long time....decades.
"Patricia, can I ask one more thing from you?"
Patricia smiled and laughed. "sure, what is it?"
"Would you call me mommy?"
I watched Patricia's face change as she told her story. I felt the pain she felt at losing someone she loved. But the coldness in her eyes was the surest emotion I could feel and see. Patricia hated Casper and she wanted to destroy him.
"We must kill him now, Betty." Patricia looked up and shrugged away the air of reminiscence form her face. "We must strike and end this. I am finding it harder to mask my thoughts from him and even almost impossible to hide my immortality. I feel him sqirming and trying to figure out what is going on in our circle."
I moved to her and dropped to my knees. She backed away and the sound of her hair brushing against her back unnerved me. She no longer wished to touch me at all. There was no child here, only a short feind who wished to annialate those who gave her torment.
"Patricia, can you at least finish your story for me...please." I reached out to stroke her face and this she allowed.
"They bit me, they took turns taking my life from me and they laughed all the while. My mother lay at their feet, half dead, and sobbed for me. She reached for me, this I will never forget. My mother was so beautiful."
"They finished her off and then started to fight. I was barely aware of what was happening but It got very violent between Casper and his brothers. Apparently, they fought over who was to finish me and who was to loot the village. As the altercations insued, Tedrifer, Casper's brother, cut Casper across the face with his claws sending him down onto the ground on top of me. I remember his crushing weight on my little body and I remember something else. I remember the taste of vampire blood in my mouth as Casper screamed and spit in anger. The more they fought, the more they fell upon me and bled into me. I felt it in my eyes, my mouth and almost drowned on vampiric blood. The cut and bit each other and healed repeatedly. Not once did they pay attention to what they were doing. Finally Casper's brother Simson took me from the ground and finished me off. Then there was darkness."
Patricia looked down at her tiny hands and sighed. I could see that she was both sad and angry. I tried to read her mind but it was a stone wall. I could only guess at what she was thinking. Joseph returned from the shadows and crouched by her side.
"Madame, would you care for rest now? Do you need more subdtanence to remain warm and livid?" You seem pale again."
Patricia looked at JOseph and smiled. "I no longer need to hide, my darling." She reached up and pulled his face to hers kissing him lightly on his lips. "We must strike him now!"
Casper stood in the corner of the room seperating himself from the shadows. As he pulled from from the darkness, he smiled. His face showed revelation and humor.
"I see how you have tricked me little one...or old friend." Casper smirked and looked down toward the little brown haired angel.
Patricia smiled and spoke "I see no point in making such statements or giving any silly speaches. I think we should just get on with it. I see no reason to draw this out...I want you dead, 'father'.
Casper hissed then laughed. "And how do you suppose you will accomplish such a task with such.....little legs." Casper howled and held his stomach. He was oblivious to the silhoettes forming outside the little shack. He didn't even pick up the brainwaves from such creatures which might do him harm.
"My little legs have nothing to do with what I am capable of doing to you." Patricia tilted her head and continued. "I come from a place that lives with the supernatural as an everyday occurance, in fact the supernatural is quite natural to us. I have a present for you, Casper."
At that statement, the door flew open and bodys shambled through the threshold. They were putrid rotting things which moaned and grunted as they stepping toward us. The flesh barely clung to the bone but they moved none the less. Their eyes were filled with some strange light that both me and Joseph gawked at.
Casper turned and made some choked noise then backed away from the shambling bodies. Two then four then six shambled through the door. The mass came close to me but never made any indication that they noticed me at all. I pressed my dead white body against the wall and watched. Patricia hid one hand behind her back and fingered some funny shaped thing. I moved round the room to get a better look at what she had in her hand; a closer look and I saw that it was a small doll...an ugly one with shaggy brown hair. She squeezed the doll harder and shook it. Casper's expression changed and he backed away almost falling into Patricia. As one of the corpses reached toward him, he did fall and land at the little girl's feet. Joseph watched in horror as I did. Patricia spat in his face and spoke some language that I did not understand.
"Patricia, what is the meaning of this? Can we not do without such disgusting displays of power, my dear child?" Casper was scared no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He floundered and pushed against the ground but something held him down. "What? I cannot move!" Casper grew angry and glared at patricia.
"No, you have killed your last child, maker, master, father....killer." Patricia had him right where she wanted him and she bent to attack. Her little fangs burst through Casper's scalp as her free hand grasped his neck. Casper spun and slapped at the corpse nearest to him and pulled at Patricia's chocolate brown curls. She growled and dropped the little ragged doll onto the floor. She pounced on Casper again and sunk her teeth into his neck. Two of the corpses pulled at Casper's legs as he kicked. Casper screamed and beat at Patricia's face.
I felt myself move toward the crowd of undead frenzy. I had no control of my own and I felt her in my head. JOseph moved with me and took hold of one of Casper's arms. He bit down into Casper's wrist and began to drink. I fell upon him and bit down into his chest.
Before long, Casper stopped moving and the crowd of corpses fell into eatin him. Darkness came for me and I welcomed it.
"I found myself in the village of my childhood, the one where he killed me. I stayed there for months, feeding upon the sick and the wastes of the town. A couple took me in and cared for me. I guess you wonder how I fit in with the humans, how i passed for human to begin with. Well, my dark skin was always a shade or two darker even when I did not feed...so you can guess, that if i was filled with fresh blood then I was almost as human. The fresh blood would flow inside me and keep me livid. I can lock you out completely if I want....putting a wall around my mind, and this I taught Joseph when I made him. And you wonder how I came to perfect this gift...I learned to mask my thoughts years ago because of my weaknesses. You see, to others I am a child and being a child...small stature, and small hands...I have to learn more abilities in order to feed. As with the cripple or the fatherless...I must learn basic survival skills to compensate for the inability to grow taller or larger. I found others as I am and they taught me how to mask my thoughts. I can virtually become non existant If I wish it so. I have become a being of strategy. And with this being said...this is my plan for you.
You are mine...I will not mistreat you, nor will I slaughter those you love. You can pretend that I am your daughter if you wish...but I will disappear and come and go as I wish. If anyone is to answer to anyone else...it will be you to me...as with JOseph. If you find it amusing, You two can become my father and mother and we can move about feeding as a family."
"But make no mistake...I am no child...and If I choose, I shall disappear forever. I let Casper bring me to you because I felt your pain at losing your family, Betty. I am sorry for your loss. If you wish it, I can end your suffering."
I looked at Patricia and smiled. I did not see a child at all but then I did see a beautiful little girl. I was torn. I hurt more now than I did when I was running and hiding and trying to save her. I spoke to Patricia as if I had failed her.
"But, I wanted to save you...to keep you from becoming one of us..and yet you already were." I dropped my head and dry sobbed. I felt JOseph's hand upon my shoulder and his whispers attempting to comfort me.
She spoke..."YOu cannot save the world, Betty. The world is dying and we shall be the reapers. Let's find them...the cruel...and feast to our heart's content."
I looked at her again and saw the child. I saw the beautiful brown haired angel who with dirty dress was brought to me by Casper. I felt her tiny hands clutch to my chest inside my coffin. I felt her little sighs as the sun began to rise. I missed my babies more now that I had in such a long time....decades.
"Patricia, can I ask one more thing from you?"
Patricia smiled and laughed. "sure, what is it?"
"Would you call me mommy?"
Sunday, February 17, 2013
A dream I once had...part 14
“where are we going, Betty?”
Patricia was brave, as brave as any little girl could be held captive by a vampire. I envied her courage and innocence. I envied her living blood which coursed through every vein and artery. I… I turned my head in hunger and took a deep breath before answering her question.
“Do you want another mommy and daddy?” I turned back toward her and made eye contact, trying hard to hide my true desires for her life giving blood. I wanted to be a guide and help to this little one but truth be told, I wanted to eat her.
“I do…” Her eyes watered immediately and her lips quivered. “I miss my mommy.”
The dam broke and her little face fell into her dirty hands. She shoke with her sobs.
I wanted to hold her now. I wanted to bring comfort to her pain and make her know that everything would be alright. I figured that if I dropped her off at someone’s doorstep then she would find a home, but if I left her in the wrong hands, it could be a worse fate than the one with me. If, in fact, anything could be worse than risking your life with the undead as your chaperone. I was confused now more than ever at what I was meant to do. If I believed in god, then should I not pray?
“Patricia, come here.” I held out my hands to her and smiled as humanlike as possible.
She looked at me and furrowed her brows, then she got up and straightened her little tattered dress. In moments she was in my arms…sobbing like a new born. I bit my lip to contain my hunger. “It’s okay, Patricia, I will find you a home…somehow.”
The thick chocolate curls hung between my fingers and felt heavenly. For a moment, I thought I was holding my twins. The horrible memory of soothing my own babies pains momentarily gave me strength and the will not to bite. My heart hurt with almost a human hurt…in fact it screamed for all the things that once made me human. I felt a phantom tear near the corner of my eye and pushed her back from my shoulder so that I could get a good look at her face.
“Patricia, what do you want?” I offered her the key to her own destiny…even as young as she was, I wanted no part in her possible undoing. I wanted the decision to fall into her little hands as to what she wanted me to do.
From the corner of my eye, I saw his face, Casper. He winked at me and disappeared beyond the brush. I knew he enjoyed every minute of his little test and it made me shiver. As I sit upon the broken porch of the little dilapitated shack, I come to the realization that I was going to be followed and monitored throughout the whole ordeal. No matter where I left her or where we went, Casper was the master of this game. I dropped my head in defeat as I held her little white hands in mine.
“Patricia, I will find a way, I will save you.” My look was not riddled with hope, it wasn’t full of the promises a little girl would hope for, but it was full of something more. My eyes told her the truth and she turned her head to see what had caught my eyes before. When she looked back at me, I was amazed. I saw the understanding that most her age would never comprehend.
“I know, Betty, I know he means for me to die.” She leaned in and pulled herself up to whipser in my ear. “I saw him there, he is playing a game with you. I have an idea.”
Patricia smiled with a wisdom far beyond her age. For a moment, just a moment, I saw the tiny fangs from beneath her ruby lips.
“Betty…quick now…clear your thoughts!” Patricia held me tighter and sobbed fake sobs into my hair.
She whispered do softly into my ear. "Let us make our leave now, dear. This dreadful place fills me with melancholy. I haven't felt such darkness since I watched the townspeople laugh and cheer at the local beheadings." She sobbed harder and clutched my hair, pullin gently.
Then with her eyes locked with mine she pleaded. "Please...please take me away, mommy."
Patricia was brave, as brave as any little girl could be held captive by a vampire. I envied her courage and innocence. I envied her living blood which coursed through every vein and artery. I… I turned my head in hunger and took a deep breath before answering her question.
“Do you want another mommy and daddy?” I turned back toward her and made eye contact, trying hard to hide my true desires for her life giving blood. I wanted to be a guide and help to this little one but truth be told, I wanted to eat her.
“I do…” Her eyes watered immediately and her lips quivered. “I miss my mommy.”
The dam broke and her little face fell into her dirty hands. She shoke with her sobs.
I wanted to hold her now. I wanted to bring comfort to her pain and make her know that everything would be alright. I figured that if I dropped her off at someone’s doorstep then she would find a home, but if I left her in the wrong hands, it could be a worse fate than the one with me. If, in fact, anything could be worse than risking your life with the undead as your chaperone. I was confused now more than ever at what I was meant to do. If I believed in god, then should I not pray?
“Patricia, come here.” I held out my hands to her and smiled as humanlike as possible.
She looked at me and furrowed her brows, then she got up and straightened her little tattered dress. In moments she was in my arms…sobbing like a new born. I bit my lip to contain my hunger. “It’s okay, Patricia, I will find you a home…somehow.”
The thick chocolate curls hung between my fingers and felt heavenly. For a moment, I thought I was holding my twins. The horrible memory of soothing my own babies pains momentarily gave me strength and the will not to bite. My heart hurt with almost a human hurt…in fact it screamed for all the things that once made me human. I felt a phantom tear near the corner of my eye and pushed her back from my shoulder so that I could get a good look at her face.
“Patricia, what do you want?” I offered her the key to her own destiny…even as young as she was, I wanted no part in her possible undoing. I wanted the decision to fall into her little hands as to what she wanted me to do.
From the corner of my eye, I saw his face, Casper. He winked at me and disappeared beyond the brush. I knew he enjoyed every minute of his little test and it made me shiver. As I sit upon the broken porch of the little dilapitated shack, I come to the realization that I was going to be followed and monitored throughout the whole ordeal. No matter where I left her or where we went, Casper was the master of this game. I dropped my head in defeat as I held her little white hands in mine.
“Patricia, I will find a way, I will save you.” My look was not riddled with hope, it wasn’t full of the promises a little girl would hope for, but it was full of something more. My eyes told her the truth and she turned her head to see what had caught my eyes before. When she looked back at me, I was amazed. I saw the understanding that most her age would never comprehend.
“I know, Betty, I know he means for me to die.” She leaned in and pulled herself up to whipser in my ear. “I saw him there, he is playing a game with you. I have an idea.”
Patricia smiled with a wisdom far beyond her age. For a moment, just a moment, I saw the tiny fangs from beneath her ruby lips.
“Betty…quick now…clear your thoughts!” Patricia held me tighter and sobbed fake sobs into my hair.
She whispered do softly into my ear. "Let us make our leave now, dear. This dreadful place fills me with melancholy. I haven't felt such darkness since I watched the townspeople laugh and cheer at the local beheadings." She sobbed harder and clutched my hair, pullin gently.
Then with her eyes locked with mine she pleaded. "Please...please take me away, mommy."
A dream I once had...part 13
My eyes fluttered open to darkness. I smelled the earth surrounding me mixed with his scent. Then the scent of various insects invaded my nostrils as well. I was alone. Panick took over my senses making me wiggle and push out with my hands. Dirt was everywhere. Rich, moist dirt surrounded my body and I remembered where I was.
"Joseph?" My breathing grew fast and ragged. I was weak, my hands scrambled and scratched against the dirt wall and my feet kicked forward to no avail. Joseph was gone, that weird vampire had trapped me here. I was too weak to pull free but awake enough to enjoy my madness in the dark.
"FUCK!!!" I began to cry and grunt. My lips began to shiver as I clawed the earth and kicked against the dirt wall. As I inched backwards, my back scraped the wall. I was cold...lack of blood...then I remembered the rest. "You bastard."
As I felt the phantom presence of his fangs in my neck, I growled. "FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! You tricked me, you blood sucking asshole!"
The earth gave way and I felt myself inch further backward. I felt air upon my naked feet and stopped. I smiled and pushed harder. "Oh wow, you really stopped me, didn't you dumbass. Stupid arogant fucker!" I laughed maniacally and heard my dress rip. Then as I kicked against the wall again, the rip blasted my ear even louder. I shivered from the noise.
Before I tried the moist earth once more, I turned my claws upward and dug into the wet earth. One pull brought me into the air up to my knees. I pressed my feet against the outside wall of the burrow and pushed completely free. I landed in the mud with a wet plop. I was disgusting and sticky. I stood for a moment then fell back into the slush. My legs were weak and my head spun. It was plenty dark and fairly quiet. All but the distant coyote, was hushed in the night. I exhaled and grabbed a root. In one heaving grunt, I stood unsteady and surveyed my surroundings. My knees shook violently and my vision wavered. I had to feed or I would never leave this area. I suddenly felt hurt by Joseph's betrayal. I hadn't felt this kind of pain in decades. I had took off the mask, let down my uard...yes, for JOseph, there was a big gaping hole in my wall of self protection. He left me here. I could smell him all over me.
In the corner of my eye, I saw it, a large bird. The beast squaked and screamed tangled in the briars. A gift, it seemed but from who. God had no mercy on me. I moved closer to the animal and dropped to all fours. Crawling through the mud, I thought about Joseph. where was he? Why did he leave me here? I had no clue, I searched with my mind but nothing. It was as if he never existed. But I knew better. I couldn't stop taking in his lingering scent. I moved closer to the struggling bird and it turned toward me. Its squaking grew louder and it pulled with new strength. It almost pulled free but my hands reached it before its will could save it.
As I broke its neck and began to drink, I plopped back down in the mud. I fed as my heart continued to hurt.The pain grew and grew. It was a strange feeling, a strong sense of longing and lonliness. A lovesick sensation that only humans wrote about in novels. I felt this and it was strong. It even overwhelmed my hatred for him. But there were other emotions which swirled in my head. Never before had I felt content with the knowledge of something greater than myself. Something stronger than my will. The harder I tried to hate him for leaving me here, the more I desired his presence and the more I admired his stregth. "Asshole."
When I was strong enough to stand, I resumed my journey onward...masking my thoughts, becoming nothing,just like Joseph told me to do.
The only proof of his existence was his smell lingering on my dress. I gripped it close and it comforted me. I secretly hoped to find him before his scent wore off. I wanted to touch him and bury my face against his chest. I wanted more than anything to hear his undead heartbeat and feel his arms protecting me. It seemed I couldn't clear my thoughts for more than 5 minutes. No wonder he left me here, I was impossibly obsessed.
"Joseph?" My breathing grew fast and ragged. I was weak, my hands scrambled and scratched against the dirt wall and my feet kicked forward to no avail. Joseph was gone, that weird vampire had trapped me here. I was too weak to pull free but awake enough to enjoy my madness in the dark.
"FUCK!!!" I began to cry and grunt. My lips began to shiver as I clawed the earth and kicked against the dirt wall. As I inched backwards, my back scraped the wall. I was cold...lack of blood...then I remembered the rest. "You bastard."
As I felt the phantom presence of his fangs in my neck, I growled. "FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! You tricked me, you blood sucking asshole!"
The earth gave way and I felt myself inch further backward. I felt air upon my naked feet and stopped. I smiled and pushed harder. "Oh wow, you really stopped me, didn't you dumbass. Stupid arogant fucker!" I laughed maniacally and heard my dress rip. Then as I kicked against the wall again, the rip blasted my ear even louder. I shivered from the noise.
Before I tried the moist earth once more, I turned my claws upward and dug into the wet earth. One pull brought me into the air up to my knees. I pressed my feet against the outside wall of the burrow and pushed completely free. I landed in the mud with a wet plop. I was disgusting and sticky. I stood for a moment then fell back into the slush. My legs were weak and my head spun. It was plenty dark and fairly quiet. All but the distant coyote, was hushed in the night. I exhaled and grabbed a root. In one heaving grunt, I stood unsteady and surveyed my surroundings. My knees shook violently and my vision wavered. I had to feed or I would never leave this area. I suddenly felt hurt by Joseph's betrayal. I hadn't felt this kind of pain in decades. I had took off the mask, let down my uard...yes, for JOseph, there was a big gaping hole in my wall of self protection. He left me here. I could smell him all over me.
In the corner of my eye, I saw it, a large bird. The beast squaked and screamed tangled in the briars. A gift, it seemed but from who. God had no mercy on me. I moved closer to the animal and dropped to all fours. Crawling through the mud, I thought about Joseph. where was he? Why did he leave me here? I had no clue, I searched with my mind but nothing. It was as if he never existed. But I knew better. I couldn't stop taking in his lingering scent. I moved closer to the struggling bird and it turned toward me. Its squaking grew louder and it pulled with new strength. It almost pulled free but my hands reached it before its will could save it.
As I broke its neck and began to drink, I plopped back down in the mud. I fed as my heart continued to hurt.The pain grew and grew. It was a strange feeling, a strong sense of longing and lonliness. A lovesick sensation that only humans wrote about in novels. I felt this and it was strong. It even overwhelmed my hatred for him. But there were other emotions which swirled in my head. Never before had I felt content with the knowledge of something greater than myself. Something stronger than my will. The harder I tried to hate him for leaving me here, the more I desired his presence and the more I admired his stregth. "Asshole."
When I was strong enough to stand, I resumed my journey onward...masking my thoughts, becoming nothing,just like Joseph told me to do.
The only proof of his existence was his smell lingering on my dress. I gripped it close and it comforted me. I secretly hoped to find him before his scent wore off. I wanted to touch him and bury my face against his chest. I wanted more than anything to hear his undead heartbeat and feel his arms protecting me. It seemed I couldn't clear my thoughts for more than 5 minutes. No wonder he left me here, I was impossibly obsessed.
A dream I once had...part 12
My eyes fluttered open to darkness. I smelled the earth surrounding me mixed with his scent. Then the scent of various insects invaded my nostrils as well. I was alone. Panic took over my senses making me wiggle and push out with my hands. Dirt was everywhere. Rich, moist dirt surrounded my body and I remembered where I was.
"Joseph?" My breathing grew fast and ragged. I was weak, my hands scrambled and scratched against the dirt wall and my feet kicked forward to no avail. Joseph was gone, that weird vampire had trapped me here. I was too weak to pull free but awake enough to enjoy my madness in the dark.
"FUCK!!!" I began to cry and grunt. My lips began to shiver as I clawed the earth and kicked against the dirt wall. As I inched backwards, my back scraped the wall. I was cold...lack of blood...then I remembered the rest. "You bastard."
As I felt the phantom presence of his fangs in my neck, I growled. "FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! You tricked me, you blood sucking asshole!"
The earth gave way and I felt myself inch further backward. I felt air upon my naked feet and stopped. I smiled and pushed harder. "Oh wow, you really stopped me, didn't you dumbass. Stupid arrogant fucker!" I laughed maniacally and heard my dress rip. Then as I kicked against the wall again, the rip blasted my ear even louder. I shivered from the noise.
Before I tried the moist earth once more, I turned my claws upward and dug into the wet earth. One pull brought me into the air up to my knees. I pressed my feet against the outside wall of the burrow and pushed completely free. I landed in the mud with a wet plop. I was disgusting and sticky. I stood for a moment then fell back into the slush. My legs were weak and my head spun. It was plenty dark and fairly quiet. All but the distant coyote, was hushed in the night. I exhaled and grabbed a root. In one heaving grunt, I stood unsteady and surveyed my surroundings. My knees shook violently and my vision wavered. I had to feed or I would never leave this area. I suddenly felt hurt by Joseph's betrayal. I hadn't felt this kind of pain in decades. I had took off the mask, let down my guard...yes, for JOseph, there was a big gaping hole in my wall of self protection. He left me here. I could smell him all over me.
In the corner of my eye, I saw it, a large bird. The beast squaked and screamed tangled in the briars. A gift, it seemed but from who. God had no mercy on me. I moved closer to the animal and dropped to all fours. Crawling through the mud, I thought about Joseph. where was he? Why did he leave me here? I had no clue, I searched with my mind but nothing. It was as if he never existed. But I knew better. I couldn't stop taking in his lingering scent. I moved closer to the struggling bird and it turned toward me. Its squaking grew louder and it pulled with new strength. It almost pulled free but my hands reached it before its will could save it.
As I broke its neck and began to drink, I plopped back down in the mud. I fed as my heart continued to hurt.The pain grew and grew. It was a strange feeling, a strong sense of longing and lonliness. A lovesick sensation that only humans write about in novels. I felt this and it was strong. It even overwhelmed my hatred for him. But there were other emotions which swirled in my head. Never before had I felt content with the knowledge of something greater than myself. Something stronger than my will. The harder I tried to hate him for leaving me here, the more I desired his presence and the more I admired his strength. "Asshole."
When I was strong enough to stand, I resumed my journey onward...masking my thoughts, becoming nothing,just like Joseph told me to do.
The only proof of his existence was his smell lingering on my dress. I gripped it close and it comforted me. I secretly hoped to find him before his scent wore off. I wanted to touch him and bury my face against his chest. I wanted more than anything to hear his undead heartbeat and feel his arms protecting me. It seemed I couldn't clear my thoughts for more than 5 minutes. No wonder he left me here, I was impossibly obsessed.
"Joseph?" My breathing grew fast and ragged. I was weak, my hands scrambled and scratched against the dirt wall and my feet kicked forward to no avail. Joseph was gone, that weird vampire had trapped me here. I was too weak to pull free but awake enough to enjoy my madness in the dark.
"FUCK!!!" I began to cry and grunt. My lips began to shiver as I clawed the earth and kicked against the dirt wall. As I inched backwards, my back scraped the wall. I was cold...lack of blood...then I remembered the rest. "You bastard."
As I felt the phantom presence of his fangs in my neck, I growled. "FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! You tricked me, you blood sucking asshole!"
The earth gave way and I felt myself inch further backward. I felt air upon my naked feet and stopped. I smiled and pushed harder. "Oh wow, you really stopped me, didn't you dumbass. Stupid arrogant fucker!" I laughed maniacally and heard my dress rip. Then as I kicked against the wall again, the rip blasted my ear even louder. I shivered from the noise.
Before I tried the moist earth once more, I turned my claws upward and dug into the wet earth. One pull brought me into the air up to my knees. I pressed my feet against the outside wall of the burrow and pushed completely free. I landed in the mud with a wet plop. I was disgusting and sticky. I stood for a moment then fell back into the slush. My legs were weak and my head spun. It was plenty dark and fairly quiet. All but the distant coyote, was hushed in the night. I exhaled and grabbed a root. In one heaving grunt, I stood unsteady and surveyed my surroundings. My knees shook violently and my vision wavered. I had to feed or I would never leave this area. I suddenly felt hurt by Joseph's betrayal. I hadn't felt this kind of pain in decades. I had took off the mask, let down my guard...yes, for JOseph, there was a big gaping hole in my wall of self protection. He left me here. I could smell him all over me.
In the corner of my eye, I saw it, a large bird. The beast squaked and screamed tangled in the briars. A gift, it seemed but from who. God had no mercy on me. I moved closer to the animal and dropped to all fours. Crawling through the mud, I thought about Joseph. where was he? Why did he leave me here? I had no clue, I searched with my mind but nothing. It was as if he never existed. But I knew better. I couldn't stop taking in his lingering scent. I moved closer to the struggling bird and it turned toward me. Its squaking grew louder and it pulled with new strength. It almost pulled free but my hands reached it before its will could save it.
As I broke its neck and began to drink, I plopped back down in the mud. I fed as my heart continued to hurt.The pain grew and grew. It was a strange feeling, a strong sense of longing and lonliness. A lovesick sensation that only humans write about in novels. I felt this and it was strong. It even overwhelmed my hatred for him. But there were other emotions which swirled in my head. Never before had I felt content with the knowledge of something greater than myself. Something stronger than my will. The harder I tried to hate him for leaving me here, the more I desired his presence and the more I admired his strength. "Asshole."
When I was strong enough to stand, I resumed my journey onward...masking my thoughts, becoming nothing,just like Joseph told me to do.
The only proof of his existence was his smell lingering on my dress. I gripped it close and it comforted me. I secretly hoped to find him before his scent wore off. I wanted to touch him and bury my face against his chest. I wanted more than anything to hear his undead heartbeat and feel his arms protecting me. It seemed I couldn't clear my thoughts for more than 5 minutes. No wonder he left me here, I was impossibly obsessed.
A dream I once had...part 11
"Dig Betty!" Joseph commanded beside me. "hurry, the sun is rising!"
The loud roaring of the setting sun invaded my ears until I could barely hear Joseph speaking. The birds were screaming, mice were scratching and water from somewhere pounded the earth like a loud drum. My nails tore furiously into the earth ripping a nail free. The pain took my mind from the loud noises that were attacking my dead brain. "I am going as fast as I can. I was hoping we had found a cave somewhere around here. This is really a pain in the ass, you know."
"Just dig Betty!" Joseph was waist deep in a burrow in the earth and flinging dark earth over his shoulder and some into my face. He panted loudly adding his grunts to all the other irritating noises. "By the way, he moved again."
"JOseph, I told you that this was bullshit, didn't I?" I dug like a mad dog burrowing deeper into the earth and cussing under my breath. Right now the handsome man didn't seem so handsome and dashing.
"Just a bit deeper. And, by the way, I am no newbie vampire." Joseph laughed and stopped for a moment. He looked toward me.
A strand of red hair fell into my face and swung in front of my eyes. I wiped the hair away smudging my face with rich moist dirt. "What do you mean? I read your mind, that night in the dungeon. You are a newb...wait a minute...you are not a newb. How did you do that?"
"I told you before, masking your thoughts is incredibly effective." Joseph laughed at me again and continued to dig. His powerful back bulged underneath his blouse.
I felt desire fighting with irritation. "That's it! I am digging no more. Fuck this, fuck the sun!" I crawled from the burrowed grave and planted my hands on my hips. Joseph was turning out to be quite the asshole.
"I told you I was an asshole. Oh wait, no I didn't." He stopped digging and dusted his hands against his trousers.
I was so angry I could tie him to a tree and let the sun have him. "Joseph, why did you decieve me?" I felt like a fool covered in mud and leaves. "Just tell me why."
Joseph took my waist in his large hands and smiled down at me. His beautiful blue eyes held compassion and tenderness. "Because my dear, you are very naive. You cannot survive this. You cannot win with the likes of Casper. And now, we are open, vulnerable and the sun is coming. If you had of trusted me, we would already have him in our grasp." Joseph pursed his lips and looked defeated.
I felt like a failure. Everytime I thought I was being assertive, I ended up being a fool...a very gullible one at that. "Okay...once again...okay. I will trust you, Joseph."
Joseph rubbed mud on my face and smiled. "No you wont, but it's okay." Without warning, he bent his mouth to mine. I was exhilerated. As he moved in for the kiss, my lips parted and I inhaled sharply. "Joseph..."
I had no time to respond as he bent my neck and drove his fangs deep within my throbbing vein. I stiffened and squealed with surprise. He was so strong as he clamped one hand on my mouth and the other around both my wrists. He drank me as he pulled us both into the hollowed out burrow. The walls gripped us safely like a womb while Joseph took control from me. When he finished, I could barely hold conciousness. I heard his soft words speaking to me through a thin haze.
"You are special, silly one. Shhh.. Sleep."
The loud roaring of the setting sun invaded my ears until I could barely hear Joseph speaking. The birds were screaming, mice were scratching and water from somewhere pounded the earth like a loud drum. My nails tore furiously into the earth ripping a nail free. The pain took my mind from the loud noises that were attacking my dead brain. "I am going as fast as I can. I was hoping we had found a cave somewhere around here. This is really a pain in the ass, you know."
"Just dig Betty!" Joseph was waist deep in a burrow in the earth and flinging dark earth over his shoulder and some into my face. He panted loudly adding his grunts to all the other irritating noises. "By the way, he moved again."
"JOseph, I told you that this was bullshit, didn't I?" I dug like a mad dog burrowing deeper into the earth and cussing under my breath. Right now the handsome man didn't seem so handsome and dashing.
"Just a bit deeper. And, by the way, I am no newbie vampire." Joseph laughed and stopped for a moment. He looked toward me.
A strand of red hair fell into my face and swung in front of my eyes. I wiped the hair away smudging my face with rich moist dirt. "What do you mean? I read your mind, that night in the dungeon. You are a newb...wait a minute...you are not a newb. How did you do that?"
"I told you before, masking your thoughts is incredibly effective." Joseph laughed at me again and continued to dig. His powerful back bulged underneath his blouse.
I felt desire fighting with irritation. "That's it! I am digging no more. Fuck this, fuck the sun!" I crawled from the burrowed grave and planted my hands on my hips. Joseph was turning out to be quite the asshole.
"I told you I was an asshole. Oh wait, no I didn't." He stopped digging and dusted his hands against his trousers.
I was so angry I could tie him to a tree and let the sun have him. "Joseph, why did you decieve me?" I felt like a fool covered in mud and leaves. "Just tell me why."
Joseph took my waist in his large hands and smiled down at me. His beautiful blue eyes held compassion and tenderness. "Because my dear, you are very naive. You cannot survive this. You cannot win with the likes of Casper. And now, we are open, vulnerable and the sun is coming. If you had of trusted me, we would already have him in our grasp." Joseph pursed his lips and looked defeated.
I felt like a failure. Everytime I thought I was being assertive, I ended up being a fool...a very gullible one at that. "Okay...once again...okay. I will trust you, Joseph."
Joseph rubbed mud on my face and smiled. "No you wont, but it's okay." Without warning, he bent his mouth to mine. I was exhilerated. As he moved in for the kiss, my lips parted and I inhaled sharply. "Joseph..."
I had no time to respond as he bent my neck and drove his fangs deep within my throbbing vein. I stiffened and squealed with surprise. He was so strong as he clamped one hand on my mouth and the other around both my wrists. He drank me as he pulled us both into the hollowed out burrow. The walls gripped us safely like a womb while Joseph took control from me. When he finished, I could barely hold conciousness. I heard his soft words speaking to me through a thin haze.
"You are special, silly one. Shhh.. Sleep."
A dream i once had...part 10
"Joseph, I can't be nothing anymore." I turned to face the vampire. I stared upward with a furrowed brow and exhaled slowly.
Joseph closed his eyes and dropped his head. "You know, you just gave away our location again."
"Joseph, this is bullshit. We have inhuman speed, inhuman senses, so why are we trying to get to Casper like this?" I am growing impatient.
Joseph took his head in his hands and growled. "He could kill her at any moment and somehow he hasn't decided to do that yet. Do you want to try and get to him without making him rip her precious little throat out?"
I was surprised at Joseph's anger and kind of amused at the same time. His anger made me have the strangest feeling from a place I hadn't used in a very long time. "Joseph, I am sorry, I cannot help myself. When I don't understand something, I get kind of frustrated. My mind doesn't accept inconsistencies. If I think I know a better way, it is hard for me to go along with others." I smiled at him and tilted my head. "I am sorry."
Joseph stared down at me for a moment then licked his lips. I caught a glimpse of his sharp canine and wondered how many people he had ripped apart before he found me. I wondered what kind of sounds he made when he devoured them. Was it similar to the sounds he made when he was climaxing, and what did that sound like? The thoughts of Joseph raced throughout my mind and I could not focus on anything else.
"BETTY!!" Joseph took my face in both hands and squeezed tightly. "You have got to stop thinking about me. I cannot possibly be that entertaining at the moment. Do you want to find her or not?"
In the distance a wolf howled bringing me back to reality. I smiled at Joseph and pried his hands from my face. "Yes Joseph, I want my little girl back."
"Then trust me. I know you are having a hard time with that right now, but you have to trust me." Joseph smacked my cheek lightly and took my hand.
Right before I became nothing again, I thought about how soft his hand was in mine.
Joseph frowned at me and pinched my hand.
Joseph closed his eyes and dropped his head. "You know, you just gave away our location again."
"Joseph, this is bullshit. We have inhuman speed, inhuman senses, so why are we trying to get to Casper like this?" I am growing impatient.
Joseph took his head in his hands and growled. "He could kill her at any moment and somehow he hasn't decided to do that yet. Do you want to try and get to him without making him rip her precious little throat out?"
I was surprised at Joseph's anger and kind of amused at the same time. His anger made me have the strangest feeling from a place I hadn't used in a very long time. "Joseph, I am sorry, I cannot help myself. When I don't understand something, I get kind of frustrated. My mind doesn't accept inconsistencies. If I think I know a better way, it is hard for me to go along with others." I smiled at him and tilted my head. "I am sorry."
Joseph stared down at me for a moment then licked his lips. I caught a glimpse of his sharp canine and wondered how many people he had ripped apart before he found me. I wondered what kind of sounds he made when he devoured them. Was it similar to the sounds he made when he was climaxing, and what did that sound like? The thoughts of Joseph raced throughout my mind and I could not focus on anything else.
"BETTY!!" Joseph took my face in both hands and squeezed tightly. "You have got to stop thinking about me. I cannot possibly be that entertaining at the moment. Do you want to find her or not?"
In the distance a wolf howled bringing me back to reality. I smiled at Joseph and pried his hands from my face. "Yes Joseph, I want my little girl back."
"Then trust me. I know you are having a hard time with that right now, but you have to trust me." Joseph smacked my cheek lightly and took my hand.
Right before I became nothing again, I thought about how soft his hand was in mine.
Joseph frowned at me and pinched my hand.
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