Know your enemies.

Ever wondered who truly had it in for you? I am sure you have. When new visitors come over, it is hard to gauge their intentions toward you. Sometimes the one you let in is the one you wish you had turned away. These things cannot be known at the time of your initial introductions. For instance, it’s Saturday night and someone you met at your new job wishes to visit. You have prepared dinner and purchased drinks for the afternoon. When company arrives, the scene is set. Everything goes well and then it is time for company to leave. You smile because all seemed to have gone well with the evening. But that is not so.
Unknown to you, as you were taking a restroom break, your new found friend stole money from your purse and some of your jewelry. Although you are sure that they are the culprit, proving thier guilt is harder than expected. It would be so much better if you knew their intentions before they ever walked through that doorway.
This is where it gets just a little more, how would you say it, complicated. Unknown to many people there are certain ways to weed out the trouble makers.
‘The devils’ or the ‘thieves’ can be found out with a very simple procedure. In fact, there are many ways to keep ‘evil’ from entering your home. I will speak of 2 of them to keep it short.
Red brick dust has kept homes safe from evil intentions for centuries. If you truly want to know who your enemies are, you must follow the directions in their completeness. The first step with preparing the dust is to find several red bricks and break them. After breaking them into peices, then pound them down into dust. The finer the dust, the easy it will be to spread. After the dust is ‘dust’, spread it thoroughly across all entryways and window sills. Anyone who means you harm or has the intentions of doing any negative act within your home, will be sent away in confusion.
Another way of finding the ‘bad one’ is to use Mandrake root. Mandrake root is an ugly shriveled root which is black in color. Only small peices are needed to ensure its effectiveness. Placing the root in corners of the doorway, windows and even on yourself will prevent any misfortune from befalling you. The root has been known to repel evil so powerfully that some have drawn back and even ran from the one who they intended to harm.

Want to know who your enemies are? Try these methods and do not be surprised when you lose some aquaintances. Just remember, they weren’t really your friends to begin with, if their intentions were not true.
Happy Conjure!


Read more: http://authspot.com/thoughts/who-are-your-enemies/#ixzz2XfqUOuaj

vigil with I-Man

“I am back.” I chime in a singsong voice as I approach his resting place. “I told you I would not be away too long. Are you mad”?

-no answer-

“I wrote you a poem…would you like me to read it to you?”

-no answer-

“ok…give me a minute.”

Shuffling through my messenger bag, I find it. A small yellow fold of notebook paper with coffee stains greets my eager fingertips. Pulling it out slowly; I looked around the cemetary. I unfold the paper and sit down upon the grass. I could sense the still air listening.

“Ok…here goes…

Oh lonely lonely teardrop,
 poised upon my cheek;
 will you fall and
 will you be complete?
 My love underneath,
 will you come to me?
 I-man, he cometh,
when the day is done.
 After the death of the sun.

 Come to me–
I will not cringe,
 I will not run

. Lonely teardrop…fall.”

Feeling content, I return the the rhyme to the black bag. “So how do you like it?”

-no answer-

I blush by the compliments he pays me. Darren is always such a romantic gentleman. “Your so sweet; you know just what to say to me.” I continue to chuckle as I adjust the faded flowers in their vase. Weeds had begun to sprout and I pluck them up. Throwing them onto his neighbor; I lay down beside him.

 “Darren–she wouldnt listen to me. And I think I may have scared her a bit. She won’t speak to me about you anymore and I dont understand. Do you think I was too forward?”

-no answer-

“I know, I can be rather strange at times I guess. She makes fun of me; you know, says I dont know what love is.” Adjusting the strap on my bag, I rolled over onto my stomach. The earth on top of him is warmed by the sun and it sends tingles through my fingers. I run my fingers through the dirt and let it roll over my hand. Moments pass in silence as the breeze comes in from the south.

”Darren, do you love me?”

-no answer-

“I know, I know…that was a stupid question wasn’t it? Your perfect, did you know that? I dont know why she cant see how powerful your love is? But I do. I will be here when you come, I promise.”

A rumble echoes through the surrounding forest and ripples across the cemetary. Birds and insects all hush in anticipation of what was to come next. But only silence follows.

“What?!…What did you say?” I rise upon my elbows and look over at his mound of earth. “I didnt hear you…what did you say?”

-no answer-

“But why? Why do you want her here? I thought…” My face contorts in anger and I feel the betrayal dig deeper into my soul. “Must you do it here?”

-no answer-

“Fine…whatever you want my love.” Rising to my feet, I brush the grass clippings from my jeans and pull my hair behind my neck. I re-adjust my bag and look around with squinted eyes. The sun was baring down hard upon the cemetary stones and I start to sweat. “Should I go now?”

-no answer-

“Ok…wait a minute.” Thrusting my hand back into my bag, I retrieve the treasure. “Here…I should have given it to you earlier. so you really like this one huh?”

-no answer-

” I love you.” Placing the folded yellow paper under a rock: I pat the ground. Before rising once more, I kiss Darren’s hot tombstone and run my fingers across the top. “I will be here at sun down…with…her. Good day my sweet…I-man.”

Standing once more, I turn to go. My mind wars between love and hate but I was not breaking my promise. I was indebted to him. There was nothing coming between us. I would do anything for him. I would return and he would have what he wanted.

“Lei Anna”

At the sound of his voice; I turn around on the pads of my feet, hair flinging wildly outward. As I stare back at his resting place, I am astonished. I began to giggle covering my mouth.

“Wow!”

Hundreds…no thousands of bees ascend from the mound of earth above where he lay. they swarm only feet above the ground. After moments of swirling and buzzing, they disappear into the air. I cannot see them leave…they just disapate like mist. A tingle starts from my feet and spread thoroughout my whole body. As I run back to his grave, I am stunned. The poem is gone.

 

I-Man

“I do not feel guilty; I know it wasn’t my fault.”

“Yeah–I know.” I stared at her blankly as she folded her clothes and lay them in a neat pile on the floor.

I was lieing to her. Darren had been dead for a month now and the incident was still fresh in my heart. I could still remember those nights she called me for help.

“Rani–don’t you feel a little remorse for cheating on him?” I asked sullenly.

She stopped folding her shirt and looked at me. “Lei–I was good to him and you know it. Besides he was cheating on my from the beginning and he hit me…alot. You know, I never thought he would do it.” she looked wounded as her eyes pleaded with me. they neglected shirt lie prone on the floor with one sleeve stretched out. It was a pleading reaching arm begging for forgiveness–It looked like her. I could see the tears welling up in her eyes as she slumped. But the tears were not for him–they were for my acceptance.

“I tried to stop him. The first two times I succeeded, but he waited until I was gone an…”

The tear fell onto her collar as she wiped her cheek. “I…I …cant go on thinking about this, Lei.”
Rising from the edge of her bed, I paced the floor. I could not bear the thought of her leaving without closure to all of this. she needed to feel for him. It just wasn’t fair to Darren. In a month’s time she had barely cried.

“Rani…I now it is painful, but you must deal with your feelings for Darren–I know you loved him. He cared so much for you and here you are shaking your booty for a dollar. How can you do this? What would Darren say?”

“You know what, Darren can’t say anything–he is DEAD!” With one swift motion, she threw her remaining clothes onto the floor. Raising up onto the balls of her feet, she growled. Turning to face me, she placed her hands firmly on her hips. “Lei, you dont have to worry about me. I will be fine. I have a job, my own apartment and friends. Yes, I loved Darren, but I can’t grieve for him forever.”
Stunned by her harsh tone, I could only stare., I could feel the words pushing up through my esophogus and I knew I could’nt hold them down. Gritting my teeth, I looked at the floor. “Rani–you never grieved for Darren! When they told you he was dead, you just sit there and stared. Then the next day you were laughing like nothing ever happened. What kind of love is that?”

“You tell me, Lei. Your the one who is still grieving. Is that it; did you want him?” Rani’s eyes grew large and she shook her head in disgust. You have no right to tell me how I should feel. You know nothing of love.

The statement cut right through me. I never knew that we would ever fight like this. It felt surreal. As my mind searched for retalitation, my heart sank.  Moments passed with not sound; only the click of the central air system as it came to life. Her breathing was angry and erratic. After minutes of staring at the floor, the thickness of the air cleared. Slowly anger melted into compassion and our friendship surpassed the hurt.

“Lei, Im sorry. Can you just give me some time to be grieve the way I know how?” She opened her palms smiling. Ah! such a welcome gesture it was. I could feel the ice she had encased around my heart begin to melt.

“It is ok. I guess I overstepped my boundaries again.”

Rani walked toward me and eveloped me in her arms. Stiffly, I returned her embrace. “Rani–” I whispered into her ear as she nuzzled my neck.

 She stopped and looked into my eyes. Her hands gathered my long auburn hair and pulled it to the back of my head. She smiled. “What is it?”

“You know he will be back soon, dont you?”

Confused she sighed and crinkled her forehead. “Who…what do you mean?”

 I leaned in once more caressing her back. My lips grazed her earlobe intimately as I spoke softly.
“Darren–he will come for you.” Smiling, I kissed her cheek.

that phantom

I went there, as I wanted...as I hoped and dreamed that I would. I did not know where you were but I closed my eyes and I saw your location. I saw you there alone looking out across the water and wondering If I would come. YOu think me some supernatural thing that would know where you are and know what you want. So, I waited for some indication of where you were and my mind showed me the way. Down a path, through a feild and onto another darker passage until the way opened up wide and emptied into the water. I smelled you there...your intensity was so strong that I was almost afraid of you but I walked ahead. I came to your make location for the night and wandered round to greet you...but you could not see me for I was a thing of dreams...whispy and unreal to your human eyes. I watched you turn because you felt something. Perhaps you felt the chill upon your back or maybe you hear my steps made solid for a moment because of my strong will to be with you. I don't know why you turned to me but you did turn to me and you smiled. I watched your face as your smile turned to a frown and then you turned back toward the water. I loved the water too and so I walked out into its depths. I barely felt the weight of its liquid form as it curled and wrapped around my legs. It was not cold to me because for the moment , I was not real at all. I was still watching from my mind, those things that I wished for.
But I grew sad suddenly...because I did not know if I was truly welcome. The riddles you made were not simple for me to understand. I was frightened because I could not break the binds of things and I could not move toward you with abandon. I was not like the others who took their steps wrecklessly and hoped that all would fare well with them. I was not like the others, the ghostly things that haunted the objects of their desires, because I stepped upon the earth of my desires with caution and trepidation. I waited in the edge of the water for a sign to turn and look toward your face and then I saw the moon overhead reflected on the surface of the depths of my watery friend...and I saw your reflection in the water as well. I felt something close to me that was warm which radiated throughout me from behind. I turned and it was you...standing right behind me with your eyes closed. I heard you sigh and bring your hands up as if to touch the starry sky and the moon. Your face was interesting in its tranquility and your drunkeness was beautiful. I watched and fancied that you could feel me and then I moved back a little and waited. I saw your lips move and my curiosity grew stronger. Leaning in closer I heard you speak softly into the air. I touched a phamtom finger to your head and tried to speak without words. I wanted you to go back ashore, I wanted your safety....I wanted only the best for you. I willed it so strongly that your eyes opened and you grimaced. For some strange reason, you grumbled underneath your breath and turned back toward the shore. I followed you while humming a tune. I found it hilarious that i could be here without your knowledge, without your scrutinizing.
You sat back down and opened a beer. I went to my knees in front of you lightly placing my hands upon your knees. Your eyes were beautiful and so alive with pain...pain and confusion but I wasn't sure why. Like I said...some riddles are beyond me because I never fancied myself as something of desire...something of value. I was saddened by those thoughts and I realized that it was time to go.
Maybe, someday...when all was right, when the planets were aligned....when my heart was more whole...I would reveal myself to you. But not now, you are not ready and the pain is still so new.

Calvin, God's chosen coward

I am Calvin. I am a coward but God's chosen coward. Please read this...all of this. Please, disreguard my mistakes and forgive me. For if you are to be forgiven...you must first forgive your tresspassers. This is the dead's world now....the ressurected, that is...but no, this is God's world...so come...if you want to be in that number.

The first days rememberance

The first one I saw was Thurman, my next door neighbor, the silent shizophrenic. I remember the shock I felt at how animated he had become. You know its bad when being more human is cause for alarm; considering his meds were apparently no longer working. I walked toward him a bit because I knew a little about his mental disorder and I wanted to help. God says to help those in need, right. Funny how things change when the situation gets more serious. And boy, did it get real.  I called out to him only to witness an issue of blood pour from his lips. I thought that maybe his condition was worse than what I was previously thinking but was stopped in my tracks by his next move. He started to run toward me. I saw the blood in his palms and so I gasped at his strange stigmata.

 Soon after, he was chasing me back into my house all the while I am pleading for him to calm down...but he didn't calm down. I bullied into my own house and slammed the door shut. There the old farmer proceeded to wayla the back door with his swollen fists. I watched from the little windows in the door because I wanted to try and talk some sense into the old man.  While pounding the wood of my rather time rotted barrier; he turned to the shufflings of Mrs. Thruman, who drug her bloody grandaughter by the hair. I couldn't help but be drawn to the horror of the sight and was soon entertained by yet a third, rather short 'madman'. The Thurman's grandaughter climbed up to peer inside the window. She grunted and squealed like a stuck pig when she saw my face. Her pale eyes bore into mine. Her loud sounds and her devil stare are what made me pull the blinds and sink to the floor in defeat.

It really was happening wasn't it?

And having glass in the doors is not very wise when something of this nature happens. We never really thought about the doors being of that much importance in the countryside... none of us did. That is how so many of the others lost their lives. The neighbors were friendly for the most part and old Thurman usually took his meds and tended his garden. But now things were different, things had changed and the realization of the situation hit me when the glass in the three little windows of the door shattered by three fists.  As I slid across the kitchen floor, my mind ran with 'what to do next'. I had no idea about anything except the basic natural instinct that told me to flee the situation at hand.
And so I jumped up and ran to the other room but don't remember which room it was. I had to assess my situation while searching for my car keys. I always had the urge to flee the scene. When the tornados came, I didn't hunker down, I got in the car and drove away like a lunatic. Which, I might add, was the WRONG thing to do. Fate would smile upon me and I would live through those incidences. And again, faithful fate smiled upon me and I drove away. In the distance, I saw Thurman's dog tear into Mrs. Crabtree's cat. My heart nearly jumped from my chest. I remember the first day as if it just happend because the first time is special like that. All first times are special even when they chill you to the bone.

Who was I kidding, I couldn't save them...heck, I hoped that I could just get away.

This is the way i thought ...but you see, I was the one who would be saved...eventually. This is what mother always said...but mother was dead. Would I see mother too?

...............

A week more

I came back and I don't know why. I guess there is no place like home. Who do I kid, the town was overrun with them...the crazies...the creepers. They were not really slow either, not like in the movies...the creepy movies. If they still had both legs, they were coming. If they still had both arms, they were grabbing. And if they still had their teeth, you were fucked...maybe you were fucked if they didn't. They weren't that fast, no...but they weren't that slow either...but they were just creepers to me then..plain and simple. I had no respect for thier human souls. Things had gone downhill and the selfish human in me had taken over.

 I watched it happen over and over while I was hunkered up inside the drug store. While watching them eat, I stole things that I thought I might need. I watched the Gun shop across the street and realized that I may be in the wrong store. But I had no weapons except a bat and I was scared shitless. And you can take that literally, no one could even let their guard down enough to do what nature called for. I realized that I had to move pretty soon or I was signing my death warrant. It was not until I grew so hungry that I made a run for it.

I know it is wrong and we all do wrong things, right? I could have saved them...the pretty lady with the boyfriend, brother...or whoever he was. But, thing is, I had to move and waited until the things had sunk their teeth into the pair before making a run for it. I looked through the glass of the store window and surveyed my surroundings. The girls screams were horrible but it wasn't my first show. I had been watching this happen for quite some time...why? Because I was a fucking coward...but I wanted to live. Because I didn't want to listen to my mother when she said to help the needy and to be brave. I didn't believe my mother when she said that God would be with me in adversity. I was losing my religion then. But I didn't know it...I was God's chosen coward. I watched the zombies feed with greed and loathing flowing throughout me then I made my run for it. All zombies occupied...and....GO!

fore, you can run from God but you cannot hide...

I guess I was smart enough so, ignoring my stomach pains and running straight for that gunshop. I don't remember ever running so fast in all my life; and still I felt a hand grab my shoulder. Pure instinct turned me just in time to plant a foot in its abdomen and sent it flopping to the ground. No mother, I did not turn the other cheek this time. I knew not whether it was male or female. I just rammed my shoulder into the doors of the shop. And it was open...unlocked...void of all human occupancies. I stopped suddenly in my tracks and backed up against the door I had just came through. Looking around, I saw nothing of eminent danger. But there were still guns. Bad thing was...I was limited on how to use them. I knew that the owner probably kept one loaded somewhere behind the desk, so I opted for that route. And I was correct. I grabbed the gun and returned to the door. As before, I waited on lunch to arrive for my demon friends; and that is when I made my run for my car. I was going home....and home was where the heart was...hearts, lungs and livers...flesh...bone and blood. Home wasn't home anymore but it was the best thing I had.

I have prepared a place for you...

..........

Two weeks

The cats and dogs were not very nice either. I don't think there are anymore left that would appreciate a nice scratch behind the ear. And they were the creepiest of all..the pets were. I am reminded of Pet Cemetary while watching those vermin cross the yard. And there are lots of dead things out there, not just the animals. I saw my neighbors, I saw strangers and then I saw something that I'd rather forget. I saw my aunt...aunt Margaret. Maybe the pets were not the worst of all. I guess this was just something that I knew would happen. It was only a matter of time before I saw relatives. When it all went down, I didn't call anyone because, since it all went down...I have become a much more selfish bastard. So, I guess it was just a matter of time before uncles and aunts and cousins started to wander upon the porch. Thing is...my aunt had been dead for 5 years now.

Apparently, the dead were exhuming themselves. Everywhere, people were reunited with long lost loved ones. How sweet...

The dead will rise and they shall be reunited

.........

Three weeks

I didn't have much food left either. The bottled water was gone, most of the canned meats were gone as well but I still had a pretty ample amount of fruit and vegetables in my cabinet. They would last a little while, at least.

 When Thurman attacked, I took my excursion to town and then came back again; I then had eaten the meat from the freezer. The electricity was still on and it made for an easy way to go...cooking, bathing and the like. The whole situation wasn't that bad considering I had my television, my stereo and an xbox. I still had plenty of hygenic products and basically everything I needed to live the way that I already lived.

 But something happened. The television stations were quikly escalating to violence and panick the nation over and after a couple weeks...there was mostly white noise. Not long afterwards during a rather hot and sweltering night; the power died for good. The next amenity to go was the water...that's when things grew serious.

And I became lonely too. I never realized how lonely the single life was until I had no electronic entertainment. And since I was so 'shallow', as others have said many times over, I had no books to read. Except of course for the bible that my mother had given me. But I didn't want to read that...it always gave me false hope and made me angry.  Yes, many times, women had judged me for the basic fact that I did not have a bookshelf...which I did not. Not many women wanted to read the bible on a nice visit to my place.

 So, all I was left with was the creepers outside. I spent hours of my day just watching them walk around my yard. They could smell me and they waited. I watched them change from day to day...further disentigrating and decomposing until one after the other...a leg broke or something of the like and they fell down to crawling. I watched them crawl too, fingers shredding into mothing but nubs, hair falling from shining skulls in clumps of flesh. I watched the scene with a morbid curiosity and wondering if my life was any better than their afterlife. Maybe there was no hope for me. Maybe thiers was my destiny. When I realized what I was thinking, I shook my head and pulled away from the gap in the boards.

Maybe I should read my bible...the thought was fleeting.

"I must be going mad...finally, I must be losing my senses."

I said this to no one at all and my voice sounded odd. I realized that for months, I hadn't realy spoken all that much...and why, there was no one to talk to.

"Hello...hello..."

I spoke again just to hear my voice and then I chuckled.

"so, now what do I do?"

I wandered back over to the gap in the boards that served as my peep hole. With nothing more to do , I peered back through the small openeing. As soon as I looked out, something was looking in. A rotted eye stared into mine as I drew back instinctively. Slowly, I looked out again and saw three creepers had gathered on the porch and were fighting over who would look through the opening. I had drawn their attention with my voice. I had no idea that those things could still hear...or was it simply that they could feel the vibrations of my voice like a bat's sonar or something. I decided to not look out anymore and draped the nearest cloth over the peep hole.
So I would take another nap. What else was I supposed to do?

...............

My dreams were terrible. I saw the little girl again, in my nightmares...Thurman's granddaughter. But this time, she could talk. Her rotten tongue wagged behind her blue lips and she spoke.

"you should be with us...Calvin. You should come outside and play."

She drew near to my peep hole and I could see the gore in her golden hair. Her eyes started to clear a bit and then she changed. She grew taller and taller and then she began to age. Her face took on familiar features until I realized that I was staring at my aunt Margaret. She smiled sweetly and pressed her face against the opening in the window.

"Calvin dear, why didn't you come to see me. You never brought me flowers."

I woke in a sweat and realized that the creepers were scratching an pounding on the outter walls of the house. I realized that I must have been screaming in my sleep. I had alerted every creeper in the neighborhood that I was still fresh and tasty. I just rang the dinner bell. It took several hours for the things to give up and wander off the porch again.

...............

One month

I was so unbearably lonely. Things were looking different to me. The heat was slowly cooking my living brains. I had no idea how much I could take. Mabye I should pull free a few boards to get some air. I was drinking my own piss until I had very little urine to drink anymore. I know it is disgusting but you would be surprised at what a person would do who wished to live.

Take of this flesh and you shall have new life....this flesh...

..............

I almost got bitten if not for my quick retrieval. I reached outside the window but the rain just seemed so inviting and I was so unbearably thirsty. I wanted to touch the water, I wanted to feel the life....I was so fucking thirsty...I was dying. I pulled a board free as well and held a pot out under the rain. I ran to get another pot and dropped it upon the ground just below the window sill. I didn't know exactly how I would retrieve it but I would find a way. I never really saw the creeper until he was almost upon me. I didn't get bitten, but I sure cut the fuck outta my arm. Later, I managed to hang out the window and pull in my pot full of rainwater. Still didn't get bitten but got some hair pulled out my a little one armed bitch with no face. But I had water....just a little...but I had water.

baptised....reborn

............

I don't want to do it anymore. There is nothing more to talk about. I have nothing but stale cereal and dried noddles and I am not going back out there. No way, no how....I will not risk being bitten by one of those things.

After the dry goods disappeared, I started eating carboard from wherever I could find it. There was still a little water from my rainwater pot but for the most part....I was dying.

yea tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...I shall fear no evil...

...........

I saw God in my dreams and he said to go forth. His face was beautiful as the face I had seen in my childhood bible stories. I saw my mother standing beside me with her hand on my head. She told me to listen to my lessons...do as God says...and be safe...always be safe. I remember my mother saying that I was stay away from the bad people, I was to take care of myself because I was clean and untainted. I heard her voice inside my head.

"wait upon the lord."

And there was God again as he raised the dead from their graves. They shambled toward their lord and took of his flesh and his blood. He smiled down at them as they feasted. The dead grew full and healthy again and the lame begin to walk. God healed himself and was whole.

"Calvin, come.....I have gifts for you in heaven."

.........

I am leaving this for you to read...if you can read at all. This is the true account of God's chosen coward...or maybe I was a fighter afterall. I have survived this far on my own and with my own devices. I am going oustide today...for the first time in months...for the first time since my run into the town. I am not going to fight anymore...as if I ever really had any fight in me at all. God said to go forth and I know what he means. I shall help the others...I shall feed the needy. And with this...I shall save my soul. Besides, I have no one...I never did...no one but you, God.

The dead have risen...they have been called forth. I want to be in that number.

Calvin, god's chosen coward.

My theory of ONE

Understanding the intricacies of the unified body is a feat that can solve alot of problems for us as individuals.

The theory of one is interesting enough in itself. Maybe just as a deep topic for social conversation; but interesting none-the-less. As we glance around our environment, we are cluttered by all the faces , places and circumstances of our daily hectic lives. We are infuriated and constantly irritated with the society that surrounds us. People push and shove as they make thier way desperately to jobs they probably hate, each and every morning. Traffic seems hopelessly endless, with its chaotic scramble in the 'me first' routine. We seem to use each other as stepping stones to get aheadof the rat race and to the destination that always eludes us. Basically, we strive to put 'number one' ;which is ourselves, in top priority. What we fail to realize, is that 'number one' is the whole of all existence. Why do we fight ourselves?

When we look into the mirror, we notice that our hair is one color or another, our noses are small or large; and so forth. Looking at others we obviously see the differences between ourselves and them-right? Wrong-what we perceive is simply different patterns in our being. We criticize the larger individuals with comments about their laziness or failure of disipline, when we actually are seeing a side of ourselves which we do not understand or accept. Inside our warped brains, obesity is considered wrong...flawed. Much like the beauty we desire in others, we misjudge the variations and create statements that are ignorant. They are only self-criticism. Like it or not-we arethem and they are us. It is true!

Take various languages for instance. Why do you think; despite the language barrier, we basically understand each other? Yes, we have similar qualities and routines, although we differ vastly from continent to continent. Traditions, styles and foods are just small examples of our differing qualities. Aside from these and many others, we all have the basic desires-to happy, to be fruitful and to live a long life. These three similarities are enough to make us think that maybe we are only one living breathing entity divided into parts. Is this still hard to fathom?

Think about it this way-where does love come from-what about sympahty? Is it possible that whenever we love, we project a feeling for ourselves? This brings to light the 'selfless deed'. There are very few truly considerate acts that we could perform without reflecting back onto ourselves, or being rewarded for it. Maybe sympathy for others and mercy is the act of storing up returns for when we need to be forgiven. Many individuals keep concious records fo the good done toward others in the hope of the 'returned favor'. Do you think that we are beginning to recognize the fact that we are just taking care of number one. Fascinating and provoking is an understatement when it comes to this theory of loving thyself.

If we honestly can perceive others as us, then their flesh becomes ours. When their hopes, dreams, hurts and anger becomes a concern of our own, we will hesitate when causing conflict with our fellow man. Hence, the answer to alot of questions that have arisen over peace, hunger, hatred ad predjudice-Just to name a few. We are one being, one light and one existence. A unified body with many diverse moveable parts to something simply unfathomable makes you think huh?

The fairies dispicable journal entry 4

The light is fleeting,as you know. As light disappears I am left with darkness again. I cannot make the light. I have tried numerous times to stay within it but it eventually fades back.

The light is stong, although, as I hold you in my arms. As I smell your scent, I am filled with such human emotion of contentment. The voices which cover the globe turn to whispers and the visions fade. For a moment there is only you and I. A moment...a short moment in time. I crave to take you. I want to fill your life in my blood. But I could never bring myself to harm you. It seems you have charmed me far from the point of being charmed. My conjures work not on you. My canines chatter with anticipation of the bite.

You shh me again and so I lay my head back onto your shoulder. You are strong and protect me from myself.

"I must go." YOu say as you hold me away from you. Your arms are strong and I almost let you hold me. "I only wanted to hold you and to make sure you were okay. But, I cannot stay here."

I frown and realize quickly what I am to you. My heart struggles with your descriptions of me. I am this, I am that but I can never be. The riddles astound me. But the light, oh the blessed light. YOu give me the light with no death, no pain then you take it away leaving the pain and the death. Are you from hell? I wonder as I clack my fangs together,and should I just bite you now?

You are human, but your eyes bore into mine as though they know my very soul. You know the creature that I am and yet you are not afraid. You come to me when I am at my deepest of dispair. Right before I have given up, you appear and dangle the light in front of me. I swat at the light just like a little kitten, then you say..

no no no....

You leave me again and take the light with you. The hunger returns.