A dream I once had...part 5

I woke up with that little girl lying on my chest. Reaching down I caressed her hair. Vampires did not dream. but visions of running through the forest looking over my shoulder in fear flashed in my head. I could feel the sun setting somewhere on the edge of my world. The roaring sound made my ears tickle.
"psst..Patricia, darling. It's time to get up. Night fall is here." I coaxed her with my hands and pushed the lid up from over us. Lamp light flooded into the coffin and roused the child. Her dirty face scrunched up and she began to cry. Her cries turned to sobs that racked her little body. I felt her sadness flow through me and invade my senses. Her blood sang as it pumped furiously through her veins. I gasped and tried to stop my teeth from tearing through my gums. "Arrgh!" I grabbed my mouth and stared into her red rimmed eyes. She sniffled and stopped crying.
"You wish to eat me don't you?" patricia's lip quivered as she spoke. Her face was covered in soot and her dress was torn. The little victum in her had gained some courage within the night.
I offered her solace with my eyes, using all my strength to suppress my hunger and true nature. My red hair feel into my face as I held open the large wooden lid. Patricia just sat and looked at me. "I do not wish to eat you at all. Come, let's get you sent off before Casper comes."
I moved us from the casket and shut the lid gently. The sound of wood slapping wood bellowed against my eardrum. I cringed. My undead life was a vast array of horrid loud noises it seemed. Nope,no getting used to this.
I filled my thoughts with baths and little girl's clean dresses as I called mentally to the maid, Martisa. Martisa was a french mulato who had been with us since childhood. She was one of Casper's favorite humans. Martisa could do things most humans could not and she kept the bad old vampire hating humans away from us during the day. Yes, she played a very important role. I heard her steps as she came close to my chamber. I turned to Patricia.
"Now, you go with Martisa and she will clean you up." I smiled at Patricia and patted her head. Martisa opened the door and motioned for the little girl in french. I eyed the maid and nodded.Martisa frowned at me before guiding the girl out the door. I hoped that hoodoo witch didn't harm the girl but I had to get her away from Casper.
I was unsure about my role in changing the girl. I was deeply in doubt by now but yet scared of Casper's intentions. What would i do? What excuse could i give him? Just I tried to hide my thoughts desperately under bundles of past occurances. i rapidly filled my mind with art, music literature...anything that would shroud my thoughts. I panicked.
"Hello Betty" I spun around to the sound of Casper's voice. He stood before me with obvious irritation threatening to turn into fury. I sensed he knew my thoughts as I tried even then to cover them.
"Hi Casper, I was just about to come to you." the lie was not convincing and he laughed.
"You are a silly silly girl. YOu cannot lie to me. You have not turned her nor do you have any intention of doing do." Casper crossed his arms over his chest. His long blue robe swished about his feet making my ears hurt. He eyed me. He was an animal waiting to pounce. Me heart beat raced.
"Casper..I neeed time. She is frightened. If I rush into..."
The slap stinged my face and I fell to the floor. My elbow struck the wood first and a thunder erupted in sound. my body fell hard and I grunted. The shock of Casper's hand brought my adrenaline to life. I could not hide my sudden anger.
"Oh...so you are angry huh?" The elder laughed heartily and cracked his knuckles. He hated me so and my undead life had always been such entertainment for him. HOw did he hold me here? I couldn't remember. Casper owned me and when I tried to remember why, there was nothing. My body responded to him as if I were a trained dog.
I wiped the blood from my face and looked up with contempt. "Why, Casper...why? I was the one who asked for her. Why do you care when I turn her?" I have no idea where the bravery came from but I went with it regardless.
"I own you, therefore, everything you own is mine as well." Casper smiled and held open both hands. "It really is that simple."

A dream I once had...part 4

when she stopped crying, she spoke to me. she told me about her times with her brothers, times she chased butterflies and hid when her mother would call her. She felt like a part of me that I had lost long ago when I lost my boys. My hunger was all but gone as I watched her animated face tell story after story as dawn fast approached. I was enthralled by her humanity and I could not harm her. I didn't realise what this meant...but I couldn't harm her at all. Her heart was pure and something that spewed from her lips reminded me of summers long ago when I would run through the forests in search of my own meaning. Yes, I was a deep girl as this. I smiled as her eyes grew wide in amazement. Then she asked that question that I did not want to answer.
"Maam, what are you going to do to me?" She looked up at me and fear was there, fear of what she knew already.
I shook off the haze from the memories her stories produced in me. I starred forward for a moment and spoke. "What do you mean?"
She looked at me with the most innocent eyes and noone could consider hurting a child as this. No human that is.
"Do you wish to know the truth? Well, I guess, of course you do." I just looked at her a moment and i guess I appeared human to her because she smiled a genuine smile at me.
"I do...I want to know what you are supposed to do to me. Will you kill me, Maam?" She was so calm with her question and it floored me.
I wanted to run away from her. I did not want to explain to her what I had in mind before she entered this room. She would not understand the fact that I wanted her to replace my dead sons. NO, it is not pleasurable to a child to know they shall be turned into the eternally damned before sunrise. To live a life as a child was not a choice life for anyone. Maybe it didnt have to be this way. Maybe I could wait till she was older to do it. Maybe 18 or 20...yes, that made more...
"Maam,you are supposed to change me , arent you?" She spoke so softly and calmly  that none would suspect she was afraid at all. But in my heart of stone, I knew she was scared. Her little heart hammered against her rib cage and filled my ears with a deafening sound.
I looked at her and I could not lie. NO, I would not lie..not this time and not ever again. "Yes patricia, I am supposed to turn you into a Vampire as I am." I spoke those words in a daze. I spoke as if my life depended that I tell the truth. I spoke these truths to her because I respected her so and she was brave. I owed her the truth....oh how I owed her something.
She looked down at her hands and frowned. "But I am scared Miss Betty. I don't know how to be a vampire." Her statement caught me off guard and I caught myself chuckling before I could contain it. I shifted on the coffin top and flung my red hair over my shoulder then titled my head in curiosity.
"I am not so sure as to what will happen. As for this dawning day; I must take cover. Casper is on his way and we must make an excuse for why you haven't been biten my dear." I stood and reached out with my hand. She looked up at me and took  hold of my hand. The touch startled her but caused a curious look to pass over her face. she looked at my hand as if it were a strang lizard she had found crawling in the backyard. I found it amuzing.
Before we could leave the chamber; Casper came galavanting through the door whipping his cape from his shoulders. He stopped abruptly as he made eye contact with Patricia.
"What!? you have not changed her yet?" He hissed in anger then switched his gaze to me. His eyes bore into mine with a degrading dominance only Casper could muster. I was unsure of the circumstances but I stood tall in his presence.
"I ...will take care of it, casper." My voice wavered in fear.
He turned once more to me as he hung up his cape. His eyes told the truth of his merciless heart. "See to it that  you do, Betty...or I will take care of her."
I gripped Patricia's hand and pulled her from the room. Down the hall and to the left I found my own quarters, my own coffin and my own space. As dawn quickly approached; I climbed into my coffin pulling the little brown haired child in on top of me. she sighed and feel asleep on my chest as my heart beat wildly in fear of Casper's threat. I held her close...refusing to lose another child.

A dream I once had...part 3

She kicked and screamed as I drug her back into Casper's room. i slammed the door locking it. At the feel of a little bite in the crook of my arm; I turned toward the child. Her little teeth worked on my hard white skin trying desperately to break the flesh. Her determination made me smile momentarily. I pried her from me and held her out by her collar. She kicked violently and screamed for the 'mommy'.
My heart sank as I watched her fighting. A sick feeling spread through my stomach and so I sat her down and turned away. Oh, how Vampires wanted tears. Of all the things that were lost, the tears are what are missed the most. without the ability to cry, the loss of humanity was so much more real. I heaved a sigh and turned back toward the little girl. But, as I thought, she was gone again. Hiding it seemed.
"Hey, I won't hurt you...of course you have no reason to believe me. But I won't hurt you." My lies stung me...yes tore at me as I walked around the bedroom. I smelled her. All of a sudden her presence became known behind Casper's coffin. Her sniffles were so loud that I grimaced in irritation. "Please...stop that. It hurts my ears." I asked nicely of the little angel I was to kill tonight.
She whimpered in the corner and i could see chocolate brown tresses shaking above Casper's tacky sleeping box. I sighed. This was going to be a long process because i was not the type to grasp and attack. She was to be my daughter; she was not my prey. I could not show her violence as Casper would. I wanted to show her tenderness. So how in hell was I going to bite her?
"What is your name sweetheart?" I asked as I neared the shaking bundle of childhood flesh. "You can talk to me. Listen, I didn't ask him to do those things to your family. I only wanted a daughter." I felt the need to explain myself fore she hated me. This peirced my dead heart.
I stopped by the end of Casper's coffin and sat down on the top. I sat for a long time allowing the girls sobbing to tire down. She looked up from her crossed arms and eyed me hatefully. I smiled back, careful not to show my fangs. She looked confused as she surveyed the monster lady which sat before her. I chuckled at what she must have been thinking at the moment.
"My name is Betty. What is your name?" I tilted my head and offered my openess to her. I waited and waited but no reply. My heart sank but of course I didn't expect too much from a girl whose parents had been slaughtered by my leader. She should hate us. She should hate me.
"Patricia...Patricia ma'am." The little angel spoke shocking me from my reverie and back into Casper's room at the present. I felt a jolt of excitement pass through my inhuman body. I could hear it too and it irritated the holy shit out of me. I jumped yet held my composure.
"Oh precious...that is a lovely name," I paused before continuing and offered her a merciful look. "Can I tell you a story?"
She furrowed her brow and exhaled. "yes...I am scared...p...p..please tell me a story."
I smiled and scooted closer. "okay sweetie, I shall tell you my story. I shall tell you a story that I haven't told in a very long time. But, I feel that I owe you this because of what you have been through. I see how uncomfortable you are and I shall put myself where you are. I do not wish for you to have pain...so I will share pain with you. Do you understand?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Okay sweetie." I spoke and inhaled a long and tired breath.
"I had a family once, yes i did. My husband was a hunter and I was a mother of two beautiful boys...twins. I cooked for them, took care of them and occasionally, we took nature walks and i would teach them things about the forest. Their father would meet us in a clearing. It was our favorite spot to meet and have a nice lunch together. Yes, I remember." I took a deep breath and continued.
"One day, a rather dark day indeed... FRanklin, that was my husband's name, he didn't show up at our meeting place as he was supposed to and of course we waited for him. We waited a very long time for him." I stared off into the distance then tentatively continued. "It was getting dark when we decided to give up and go home. I told the boys, who were 5, that maybe their father had killed something that was keeping him away so long and that there was probably a good reason. As I spoke to them, my dear...I didn't believe it. I hid my worry as I began that long trek home. But something happened. The boys heard it before I did. They pulled at my dress and shouted for me to look at papa."
I dropped my head but tears never fell...they couldn't. I could feel the little girl's eyes on me as I tried to gather composure again. I sobbed dry sobs that meant nothing at all. Then, as I hefted my shoulders back and lifted my head; I continued.
"He was different from a distance. I thought he was sick. I thought he had caught a virus or something being out in the woods all the time. I didn't know what had happened to him. As he staggered toward me, I saw two other men come from behind him and move closer to me and the boys." I stopped.
Patricia, the little human angel raised up and sat upon the coffin lid. Her big blue eyes questioned me. "Maam...what happened?" she asked truly curious about my story.
I did not lie to her then and there. I could not. "I do not know what happened exactly. I just remember waking up in a damp room...very very hungry. In the corner I saw my husband, Franklin waking as I was from some groggy dream it seemed. He looked so pale and something was different about him...something I know now...but..."
"Yes, go on." She coaxed with a new found courage that surprised me. I suddenly gained an admiration for the little girl as she sat in awe before me. So I went on.
"It was me and my husband staring at each other. I could read his thoughts...they were horrible, greusome, carnal and violent. I know now that my own thoughts must have been the same. At first I was very confused at our situation and our confinement as it seemed we were confined to that room. But, softly it started and grew louder. As I starred at Franklin on all fours as I was...I realized what the sound was. The whimpers came from the dark corner to our right. whimpers growing louder, invading our minds. As the whimpers grew louder, it triggered our hunger. I heard his stomach growl as did mine. I was so horrified. I remember babbling and mumbling as the whimpers grew louder. I remember turning toward the sound with Franklin. Moving together toward whatever it was that called to us."
I stopped once more and starred at Patricia, my soon to be victumized daughter and sighed. "I cant...I cant do this." I dropped my head and brought my hands to my face.
I felt her warm hands upon my arms as I dry sobbed into my hands. Her blood enthralled me, tempted me and drove me mad in one instance. I was only held at bay by my sorrow. Her courage impressed me so and in ways comforted me.
"Miss Betty, what happened?" she asked innocently.
I swallowed hard and looked back up at the little girl. She drew back horrified and shook but she never left the coffin top.
"Ok...I owe this to you. My sorrow is yours." I exhaled once more and then began again.
In the corner was our twins, David and Darrell. They...they ...damnit...they had been stripped naked and they were crying.
I stopped and shook my head looking toward patricia. I saw the fear in her eyes as my eyes dilated quickly in memory.
"What happened in those next moments were beyond anything your little mind could understand, Patricia. Are you sure you want to know what I really am?"
"Yes, maam." she looked so brave in her little dress all stained and torn. I adored her already.
We were made to slaughter our own children while one of the elders watched on. We are vampires, unless you haven't figured out by now.
This did not shock her seeing as though she had witnessed the destruction of her village and death of her whole family. A lone tear trailed down her cheek and she smiled sadly. Without warning, she shot forward and wrapped her little arms around me. I was so surprised that I hissed in response.
Her body wracked in sobs as she cried her little heart out. She had no fear of me now and it felt strange.
I lay my hand on her beautiful brown hair and tried to force the memories away again.

A dream i once had...part 2

I was so nervous waiting for her. I paced back and forth in Casper's bedroom. My chinese Laundry heels thumped impatiently on the crimson plush carpet--almost unnerving me. I wrung my hands together and grimaced at the way my silk dress rasperd against my thighs. It was crimson red as well, perfectly matching Casper's floor. I felt my dry dead heart pounding in my chest and brought my hand up to still it. The v-neck of my dress offered access to cold flesh on flesh and the sensation shocked me. I gasped and then continued to pace. God, why were things so intense--the voices, the sounds, the sensations. I don't think I will ever be used to life as death as life again. This existence never failed to amaze me. I stopped abruptly in front of Casper's vanity and stared at the pale girl in the glass. I giggled and put my hand over my mouth. My mind raced to all the silly little myths about reflections and mirrors and it made me chuckle a little relieving tension. Raising one eyebrow, I took my hand down from my mouth and dug deeply into my purse. My hand found what it was looking for and brought the object before my eyes.
"Ahh..crimson." I removed the cap from the tube of lipstick and twisted the sides watching the thick red creamy stick move up slowly. My mouth had dropped open in response to the loud sliding sound that the lipstick made as if moved upwards. I giggled again. PUtting my hands on my lips ;I applied the lipstick and replaced it into my purse. "Oh you Vampiress, you." I raised my eyebrow and began to pose in the mirror, this way and that. Then stopped staring at myself. A sadness swept over me momentarily as pictures of dying children flashed before me. I gasped. No matter how many decades passed; I could not forget the children. Oh, the children. My lips trembled.
"Are you alright?" Casper appeared beside me and stared into the mirror as well. He was dressed in a velvet jacket and dark slacks. His raspy brown hair was pulled back from his face and his eyes were peircing and blue as blue could be. He had fed already, thank god. when he was hungry , he was so pissy.
"I ...I am fine." I stammered. "I was waiting for you to return."
Casper smiled and ran a hand over my long red hair. His fingers momentarily tangled in the waves down the back of my tresses. I furrowed my brow and faked an OUCH!
 "I have her."
I inhaled sharply and just stared at his reflection. I didn't know how to feel. Visions of recieving babies in the bedroom with the wet nurse flashed before me. Holding a child that i did not know how to love and understanding that it was my duty to love him. I could remember it as if it were yesterday. I trembled. "Oh, Casper...do you jest me?"
"come...she is just outside the room." He removed his hand from my hair and took me by my wrist. He pulled gently.
As we moved toward the doorway, time crept ever so slowly. Of course it does; as with anything you want. I grasped my purse tightly and moved with Casper. I couldn't feel my legs at all. The numbness spread upward as I neared the door.
Casper smiled as he turned the knob and pulled open the door. I looked from him to the open hallway with was before me now.
she stood there. She was no more than 7 years old, dark brown hair and rosey cheeks. She had been crying, as her skin was flushed and her warmth seemed to radiate from her.
"Oh CAsper, she is beautiful." I turned to smile and flashed my fangs briefly. "Is she really mine?"
Casper grinned deviously and spoke in a hushed tone. "Yes, my dear, yes...but hurry...she is very upset. I killed her whole family."
The little girl trembled and began to sob uncontrollably. Her little shoulders shook.
I had no time to conceal the horror in my face. I know he saw it because he frowned and shook his head at me. I never asked for this...not like this."But...okay Casper...okay. I will take care of it. But I want to be alone with her first" I whispered.
Casper rolled his eyes and released my wrist. "Ok, but don't make a mess. It is a simple job. And she is your responsibility ...forever."
I looked him in the eye once more before he turned to go. I didn't see compassion there, nor did I see love. I couldn't quite make out exactly what I saw but it frightened me. Casper had a plan and somehow I felt that all this was a part of it. Maybe, who knows.
Looking down at the precious little girl; I smiled. Her frightened eyes caught mine and she gasped. As I reached out for her, she turned and ran.

A dream I once had....Part 1

Of course,I didn't really like Casper, but father said he saved us. I had this little song that played in my head when he spoke to groups as he did now and so he thought I listened because I smiled the whole time. He was our ruler, leader or whatever you might call him. After father was killed, Casper became the leader of our little group. Yes, he had the authority around here. But he was dreadful when it came to humanity. I mean he had no leadership skills at all but yet he threw his weight around when punishment was due, over exaggerating some little midemeanor when more important things should be done. And Casper saw women as being on a lower level than the males. He saw us as the human men saw us. Father was not like that.
"Betty! May I have you attention please,dear?" Casper hissed at me and spoke in a hushed tone to gather respect.
I straightened up and swallowed that large lump which suddenly formed in my throat. I bit my lips and suppressed the smile that was about to erupt. "Yes sir."
Casper tilted his head and his shoulder length brown hair brushed his collar making a sound most couldn't hear. But I heard it and it was loud. I cringed from the dry rasping it made. "I expect all of you," he waved his hand across the air, "I expect you to understand the consequences of your actions among the living." casper dropped his head and cracked his knuckles.
My hand shot up before I could think twice about 'my actions'..hehe. "Uh..Mr. Delvin, can I ask you a question?" I had a curious rebellious nature that came out at the most unopportune times.
He rolled his eyes and frowned. "Of course, Betty, you can always ask a question, any question of me...as you always seem to do. God knows how you come up with that drivel."
I drop my hand and gulp knowing he will get very angry any minute now when I ask my question. I have asked him for this for decades since father died and yet his promises are empty. I long for this and he knows I do, but he plays with me...and sometimes that is why i hate him. "Casper, can I have it now?"
At the words that were way too familiar to his undead ears; Casper grimaced and ground his teeth. His fists clenched ever so much more tightly as his dry brown hair rasped against his collar once more. I could hear him hate me. I could hear him contemplate on how he would dispose of me. My heart began to pound against my dry rib bones. I knew it was just not the time for this. But I wanted it damnit. I had suffered enough for 200 years and I deserved to have it. He promised...oh god, he promised and...
He opened his fists and looked back up at me. His pupils were dilated and a single line on red ran down his lips onto his chin. His fang retreated back into his gums and he smiled. "You know....Betty, I think I can actually arange that in the next couple of weeks. I have a situation brewing in the sister village."
Amazement gripped me as I made eye contact with Casper. "Really?"
"Yes my dear, really." Casper smiled and exhaled. "Now, do you think you can pay attention to me for a moment?"
My hope rose up and was swollen in my chest. I felt so much hope. I still couldn't listen to his rubbish. I was going to finally get her. A child of my own and better yet a little girl. Oh, the possibilities, oh..I was going to be a mother again. After all these decades of lonliness and dispair...I would finally have a little girl.
As Casper talked, all I could hear were the little squeals and screams of my little girl and I plunged my fangs into her neck...giving her to me ...forever.
I sighed and pretended to listen to my makers babble.
I know father wouldn't approve of my wishes but I wanted a family...even now as my dry bones ached..i wanted a family more than anything.

Tika Tika

What is love, really? Tika smiled and touched her finger to her lips. she pondered the question as much as she could. After these few days, Tika would have no room to think of love. Although she was young, Tika's wandering innocence would soon be gone.

Tika sat in the sand writing words of wisdom that she had heard from her mother-Words of blessing and fertility. The moon overhead watched her progression from girl to woman in the course of a couple of days. Tika shifted uncomfortably and remembered why she was here. The other girls were fast asleep in the menstrual hut, curled up together for comfort and union. Tika wasn't sure that she belonged with them. She felt different from the other dancers. when the girls circled the plaze in gyrating trembling bodies, Tika was always sneaking away into the forest to dance alone. Under the eyes of her friends the stars, Tika would move gracefully until she reached a state of euphoria and simplicity. She believed that at that moment in her life, Tika could almost touch the one. Her heart burst as she teetered on teh edge of nothing and fell over for just those few seconds. Even though it was not long, Tika could feel the truth of everything. Then, when the air of her surroundings brought her back into her own eyes, Tika would cry to return to the other place. She could never understand why she had to come back from the vision. After her dance was over, Tika would fall asleep under the pines and dream. There, Raven would come and make her laugh. As the sun rose, Wolf would shake her from her dream and remind her to go be the daughter of her mother once more. Tika would scowl at wolf and trudge back to the village with leaves in her hair. Mother would shake her head and shove a bowl of rabbit stew under Tika's nose. After her meal, Tika's mother would send her off to pick berries and herbs. It wasnt until her curse came that Tika's mother started to act different. Her mother was now stern and withdrawn from Tika. Her only concern was to get Tika out of her hut and into patek's household.

Tika's sadness welled up inside her and she leaned against the pole of the hut. Her breath came curling out and tickled the end of her nose. Her finger drew a long curving line that circled itself around and around-the spiral of life. Tika had watched her mother create this symbol time and again but had no real idea what it meant. Her finger pulled trails through the sand making the spiral come to life. Then with the next symbol, Tika pulled two lines downward-parallels. She had the strangest urge to write an animal's name and so she wrote the name of wolf upon the ground.

She held her breath and looked at what she had created. It was still a mystery. Tika read her writing aloud to herself.

"The great spiral of life, the river, the wolf."

Tika frowned and tilted her head.

"Now what does that mean?" Tika bit her lip and felt the curse causing her stomach to knot up and contract. Tika groaned and chewed another piece of horsetail.

The moon grew brighter as well as the stars. All around the little camp, wolf and raven watched from their hiding places. A game, a gamble...this is what life was to the twins. Light and dark would always war with each other but it was up to the people to keep the unity and balance among them. There was a girl who held the secrets to this unity. She was brought to earth by birds and promised that her wings would be returned to her when she first found her love and mate. Tika held the dreams and they came when the spirit of night fell upon her. Tika knew not of her gifts of prophesy and healing. She was meerly a girl, a girl who had already been given to the young warrior, Patek. Tika wasn't in love with Patek, and so she would never see her wings returned to her.

Tika looked at mother moon and smiled. "I want to return to you mother, for with you only,can I fly free. Raven laughs at me and wolf is too stern. I have no place among the people nor among the spirits...take me home."

The other girls stirred in the hut and groaned. Tika jumped in surprise as Neha snatched back the hide and gave her a mean look. Neha was very familiar with the curse and felt that Tika must be taken care of on her first stay in the hut. The older girl stared at Tika and motioned for her to return to the hut. Other girls rose from their mats and rubbed their eyes. Tika exhaled and rolled her eyes. With a swipe of her little brown hand, she erased all meaning of the wolf, the river and the spiral of life. As she turned to look at Neha once more, Tika felt a spirit waver before  her and shake time itself. A breeze fluttered the back of her head and pulled her long auburn hair out in both directions. Tika turned back to the ground and saw the spirit's message.

"U de li da U tse li dv."

..and drawn upon the earth there, was the contenance of Raven... wings outspread.

Siren

The darkness here is comforting but I cannot stay. I had almost learned to accept my fate as hell bound. I had almost learned to accept that only the moon’s light brings solace. It is cold here and the crashing of the waves against the rocks makes me think that someone is here with me inside this shallow water, someone wants to hear my story. I do not exist among men, I am a mythical being. This admission to myself, makes me laugh softly against the rough dripping walls. My silvery shivering laughter reverberates off the walls of the cave and falls back upon my ears. For a moment, I thought I had the company of one like me. My heart is trying to accept that I am the only one.

Shifting and pushing against the walls, I slip back into the edge of the water. I see the moon and its children high above and i wonder do they ignore my breaths of life as the others do. My skin explodes in excitement as the water moves farther up to my chest. My hair floats upon the water when I dip my head back and feel the life around me. Then I dive down just a bit, exploring my watery wonderland. I paddle out farther, shifting and dodging the rocks. Before me, is open sea. All but the various jutting rocks which blemish the shoreline. Moon light dapples the caps on the waves and I smile. My element hugs me whispering softly. One breath, a deep one signals my second dive.

Underneath my eyes adjust to my world again. So many tears have filled my world with sorrow. Do my friends know that even I am burdened by my prison? Do they even feel as I do?

My arms push forward as my body lunges deeper into paradise. Soft skin fades into beautiful turquoise scales, satiny and precious. Deeper still and I see fish darting away from me. Turtles dive down and dodge my quick desperate paddles, frightened it seems. Their eyes catch mine then move on to a destination their own. The beautiful sublime warm waters comfort my aching heart. I am so alone. I close my eyes momentarily to just feel the warmth pushing in on me.

On I push, moving raidly against the current. Another wave crashes in , pulling me back and every muslce in my body strains toward my goal. I grunt and sway vertically pushing deeply into the undertow.

A jutting rock, not too far from here offers a resting place beneath the moon. My familiar home, something to solidify my existence. I push onward, yearning to gaze outward from my vantage point. I want to see you.

I hear you, not too far away, coming in from fishing. I have one more chance before the night is over.

My tired hands grip something solid. A huge protruding rock, slippery and unforgiving pulls me from the waters. The blanket of sea breaks from around my face and falls away as I leap from the sea. Gasping and squealing, I climb upon the rock and pull my body completely from the deep. Once warm and surrounded by familiar, now cold and alien in an unforgiving world. I look up at the black sky. It is unfathomable and amazing. The breath in my lungs hold tight for a moment then moves up and out of my mouth. The stars are beautiful, an audience. I cannot let them down.

I hear you closer, even so close that I can see the tiny white boat breaking the waters. I wiggle upon the rock and get comfortable. It draws nearer and I can barely make out your handsome features, your waves of dark hair and muscular build. You stand up with your hand upon your brow, surveying the coastline.

I close my eyes, run my hand down my shivering tail and begin my song.

I hope you notice me.