Saturday, June 28, 2014

emptiness

There is an emptiness that is hard to explain. It rambles through my head, keeping me up at night and driving me towards the light of day with dreams and nightmares. The emptiness provides a way to explain my insanity, because insanity would be what you call it. There is no means to an end, except to end it properly. This emptiness raves throughout the days as something that must be heard. I have never been caught in such loud screams and such harsh clawing hands of this nothing.

I look deeply within and I see it there. It awaits me. It has taken root, a root that I supplied with nutrients, and it has dug down to the very deepest depths of me. It has made home within.

A fool am I, that I should create such emptiness and drop bread crumbs along the trail for emptiness to find me. I sit patiently in the waiting room of my dark and devious physician and I watch the hands of the clock. They are not moving and time has definitely stood still for the nothing that I crave.

As I close my eyes, I cannot see you there, I cannot feel nor hear your voice. I quickly understand what it all means.

It's coming, the midnight hour and the hands of the clock are already there, stopped and waiting for me. One shoe is missing and my heart is bursting from my chest. They are coming for me, the emptiness, the nothing and the wicked witch.

There is an emptiness that is hard to explain and a shadow which always remains. The crazy fairy dances in my brain and no one eats the clues that I drop. There is nothing and this is all just a figment of my imagination.

But a dream that I cannot wake.