My name is Plastic and I am more than just a girl, I am one of the special ones and I keep this dream inside. I usually get the best customers of all the other girls. I know the tricks, the talk and yes, I have a few extra qualities as well. I am very limber, I can pull my leg straight up against my body and hold it there for hours. Plastic gets paid more than the other girls for this quality alone. I am cute, ditsy and usually take in enough to keep me content. But, as all working girls seem to be, Plasic is unhappy, yes I am. Basically, I dream of owning my own business and being able to live normally for a while. I have many dreams but unfortunately, they were just dreams often drowned out my grunts and gasps...and other disturbing things I have grown used to. There are six of us in Patterson's trailer park and our business is kept on the DL. Small towns have their share of hidden pleasures. Small towns also have their Politicans and high falutin business men who sneak out to the slums for things they cant get at home. I find it stinky funny sometimes.
Our 'pimp' is George. He is okay, most of the time. Only a couple of occasions that he hit Plastic and that was because I stole his drugs. I fight with that urge sometimes but I can stop when I want. George gives some candy, says it keeps me from losing it, but he only wants me to have it when HE wants me to have it. Bastard. Sometimes I cant wait for him to give it to me, you know. Plastic cant handle her demons and I did break into Georges trailer and snort a couple lines right on his floor beside him. As he slept, I would take some more and get out. Th George always found me. I don't remember it all, but George changed when I stole his stuff. But George wouldn't beat me then, he would wait. Wait till I was sobered up enough to see how much I screwed up. George would enjoy his lessons, beating Plastic while he laid his pipe for the night. I just tended to zone out and enjoy the intricate patterns on his ceiling. As with the cocaine bender, I tried not to feel anything with George inside me.
Plastic loved the others, they had been here with me for years. There was Muffin, Toy, Ginger,Star and Tricks. They were all great friends and shared their down time playing cards and drinking with me. Toy and Star were in a relationship together and sometimes fought, but overall, they were pretty happy. They each had a small trailer at Pattersons, as I did, but shared meals and babysitting jobs. I have no kids but Star,Muffin and Tricks have a couple. I often babysit for booze...seems a good trade off.
The kids were fine, don't assume a couple hookers can't raise good children. Star's daugher was in the gifted class and Muffin's twins were on the Math league. Some of those rich bastards didn't have smart kids like Muffin. And Muffin was a wonderful cook. There wasn't anything that bitch couldn't make. Sometimes, I wonder why we are here, why we do what we do. I just remember that it all went down hill when the jobs started to disappear. And, besides the occasional tiffs with George, he was okay. He paid us well and sometimes gave us some free shit he found. Gave us purses, clothes and even some cheap jewlery. Says it was given to him but I just think he had been dumpster diving. Doesn't matter, it's free.
It was a night much like this when I really fucked up. I was geeking again and decided to sneak over to George's trailer for some powder. But when I opened his door, he was waiting for me. He had learned my patterns and so he was ready. I just remember seeing his face and then seeing all those damn stars...then darkness.
When I woke up, George was standing over me poking me with what the good lord have given him. I knew what he wanted and gave it to him. During the whole ordeal, he was rough. He called me names and tried to hurt me. A couple time, I almost puked. When it was over he walked away and sat on the bed. He told me to go get cleaned up and then come right back. He said we needed to talk.
I went to the bathroom and puked. I was still reeling in a spasmodic delirium from the forcefulness of George's rape. I had never expected to see him awake and never had he hit me so hard over the head. My brain was spinning. I had no idea what he wanted to talk to me about. I put my face to the sink and splashed cold water across my eyes, nose and mouth. I felt strange but the cold water woke me up a bit. What did he want? I couldn't deny the fact, that for once in the time I had worked for him, I was frightened.
When I went out to George, i saw it. He held a gun and motioned for me to sit. Then, as smiled, he spoke. "This time, you have went too far."
As his world rang in my throbbing ears, I frowned. I had no idea what he spoke of. I can't imagine him getting this mad because of a little cocaine theft. George was truly mad. That lump they all talk about was sitting in my throat threatening to choke me. "I don't know what you are talking about, George. What's going on?"
"You little liar, you come in here every week and steal my coke. You know, I even look over that and a good beating is all you seem to need to keep you away. But, you don't take my money." Greorg'e lips twitched and the gun shook. It was obvious that he had done a couple lines already. He was flying high and probably a little trigger happy. I was terrified.
"George, I really have no idea what you are talking about. Yes, I take some powder from you, but I never take your dough. I am good with what you pay me."
But George wasn't convinced. His hand shook and he stood. That is when I noticed Mufffin. She was hiding behind Georges loveseat with a gun of her own. she put her finger on her lips and winked at me. I was confused.
"I want my money or you will die. I will kill you right here."
As I backed toward the door, Muffin stood and pointed her little handgun at George's back. I returned my gaze to the pimp and stiffled a gasp. This was it, I knew how much money George was missing and it was probably in Muffin's purse right now. There was enough money to keep all the girls up for months. George had been saving, and I thought I was the only one who knew. "George, I promise you, that I did not take your money."
"Bullshit, you are the only one who knew. You are my favorite, Plastic. You were my favorite." George genuinely looked hurt by my betrayal.
At that moment, I made a strange decision. I winked at George and touched the left side of my lip. He spun and blasted Muffin in the chest. I screamed. Muffin fell and hundreds fluttered from Muffin's falling purse. Both George and I stood for a long moment and stared at his missing money. He lowered his weapon and started to pick up the hundreds. I had a sudden sick feeling as I thought of Muffin's twins. But this is a dog eat dog world,right. Basically, we are all pimps and prostitutes. I smiled. At that thought, I retrieved George's gun and shot him in the head. Whatever came over me had enough sense to pick up the money and shove it back into Muffin's bag.
Before I left, I made sure I found George's bullets. I was still trying to figure out if I had the guts to kill again as I slammed the trailer door and headed into the night. My hand shook and I realised I had crossed a line. I had money, and I was going to get my dream. I think the bullets were for all my obstacles.
The next morning I walked from the woods into a clearing on the edge of the bordering town. I saw them everywhere. Going into stores, driving cars. Everywhere I looked, I saw pimps and prostitutes waiting to betray me. I loaded my gun because I had a dream.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
A dream I once had...the end
"Ironically, my real parents were the victim of Casper's hunger as were the two that he assumed were my parents. In the same village, I lived as a human child and there was visited by Casper and his two brothers. A century before, I was a lively seven year old child who loved to do all the things that children do. I had heard stories of vampires from my older siblings and they struck fear in me, keeping me from sleeping at night. One night, screams awakened me and I ran to the front of the little shack. I saw fire through the windows and I saw father in the hands of some strange man...there amongst the flames. Another man held my mother in his arms and had his face buried in her neck...now, I know, he was drinking her blood. When they sensed my presence, they came for me...straight into my home and picked me up. I remember ho they doted on me about how cute I was. They thought it humorous and both enticing to look upon my childlike innocence. I was horrified and sobbed in their grasp."
I watched Patricia's face change as she told her story. I felt the pain she felt at losing someone she loved. But the coldness in her eyes was the surest emotion I could feel and see. Patricia hated Casper and she wanted to destroy him.
"We must kill him now, Betty." Patricia looked up and shrugged away the air of reminiscence form her face. "We must strike and end this. I am finding it harder to mask my thoughts from him and even almost impossible to hide my immortality. I feel him sqirming and trying to figure out what is going on in our circle."
I moved to her and dropped to my knees. She backed away and the sound of her hair brushing against her back unnerved me. She no longer wished to touch me at all. There was no child here, only a short feind who wished to annialate those who gave her torment.
"Patricia, can you at least finish your story for me...please." I reached out to stroke her face and this she allowed.
"They bit me, they took turns taking my life from me and they laughed all the while. My mother lay at their feet, half dead, and sobbed for me. She reached for me, this I will never forget. My mother was so beautiful."
"They finished her off and then started to fight. I was barely aware of what was happening but It got very violent between Casper and his brothers. Apparently, they fought over who was to finish me and who was to loot the village. As the altercations insued, Tedrifer, Casper's brother, cut Casper across the face with his claws sending him down onto the ground on top of me. I remember his crushing weight on my little body and I remember something else. I remember the taste of vampire blood in my mouth as Casper screamed and spit in anger. The more they fought, the more they fell upon me and bled into me. I felt it in my eyes, my mouth and almost drowned on vampiric blood. The cut and bit each other and healed repeatedly. Not once did they pay attention to what they were doing. Finally Casper's brother Simson took me from the ground and finished me off. Then there was darkness."
Patricia looked down at her tiny hands and sighed. I could see that she was both sad and angry. I tried to read her mind but it was a stone wall. I could only guess at what she was thinking. Joseph returned from the shadows and crouched by her side.
"Madame, would you care for rest now? Do you need more subdtanence to remain warm and livid?" You seem pale again."
Patricia looked at JOseph and smiled. "I no longer need to hide, my darling." She reached up and pulled his face to hers kissing him lightly on his lips. "We must strike him now!"
Casper stood in the corner of the room seperating himself from the shadows. As he pulled from from the darkness, he smiled. His face showed revelation and humor.
"I see how you have tricked me little one...or old friend." Casper smirked and looked down toward the little brown haired angel.
Patricia smiled and spoke "I see no point in making such statements or giving any silly speaches. I think we should just get on with it. I see no reason to draw this out...I want you dead, 'father'.
Casper hissed then laughed. "And how do you suppose you will accomplish such a task with such.....little legs." Casper howled and held his stomach. He was oblivious to the silhoettes forming outside the little shack. He didn't even pick up the brainwaves from such creatures which might do him harm.
"My little legs have nothing to do with what I am capable of doing to you." Patricia tilted her head and continued. "I come from a place that lives with the supernatural as an everyday occurance, in fact the supernatural is quite natural to us. I have a present for you, Casper."
At that statement, the door flew open and bodys shambled through the threshold. They were putrid rotting things which moaned and grunted as they stepping toward us. The flesh barely clung to the bone but they moved none the less. Their eyes were filled with some strange light that both me and Joseph gawked at.
Casper turned and made some choked noise then backed away from the shambling bodies. Two then four then six shambled through the door. The mass came close to me but never made any indication that they noticed me at all. I pressed my dead white body against the wall and watched. Patricia hid one hand behind her back and fingered some funny shaped thing. I moved round the room to get a better look at what she had in her hand; a closer look and I saw that it was a small doll...an ugly one with shaggy brown hair. She squeezed the doll harder and shook it. Casper's expression changed and he backed away almost falling into Patricia. As one of the corpses reached toward him, he did fall and land at the little girl's feet. Joseph watched in horror as I did. Patricia spat in his face and spoke some language that I did not understand.
"Patricia, what is the meaning of this? Can we not do without such disgusting displays of power, my dear child?" Casper was scared no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He floundered and pushed against the ground but something held him down. "What? I cannot move!" Casper grew angry and glared at patricia.
"No, you have killed your last child, maker, master, father....killer." Patricia had him right where she wanted him and she bent to attack. Her little fangs burst through Casper's scalp as her free hand grasped his neck. Casper spun and slapped at the corpse nearest to him and pulled at Patricia's chocolate brown curls. She growled and dropped the little ragged doll onto the floor. She pounced on Casper again and sunk her teeth into his neck. Two of the corpses pulled at Casper's legs as he kicked. Casper screamed and beat at Patricia's face.
I felt myself move toward the crowd of undead frenzy. I had no control of my own and I felt her in my head. JOseph moved with me and took hold of one of Casper's arms. He bit down into Casper's wrist and began to drink. I fell upon him and bit down into his chest.
Before long, Casper stopped moving and the crowd of corpses fell into eatin him. Darkness came for me and I welcomed it.
"I found myself in the village of my childhood, the one where he killed me. I stayed there for months, feeding upon the sick and the wastes of the town. A couple took me in and cared for me. I guess you wonder how I fit in with the humans, how i passed for human to begin with. Well, my dark skin was always a shade or two darker even when I did not feed...so you can guess, that if i was filled with fresh blood then I was almost as human. The fresh blood would flow inside me and keep me livid. I can lock you out completely if I want....putting a wall around my mind, and this I taught Joseph when I made him. And you wonder how I came to perfect this gift...I learned to mask my thoughts years ago because of my weaknesses. You see, to others I am a child and being a child...small stature, and small hands...I have to learn more abilities in order to feed. As with the cripple or the fatherless...I must learn basic survival skills to compensate for the inability to grow taller or larger. I found others as I am and they taught me how to mask my thoughts. I can virtually become non existant If I wish it so. I have become a being of strategy. And with this being said...this is my plan for you.
You are mine...I will not mistreat you, nor will I slaughter those you love. You can pretend that I am your daughter if you wish...but I will disappear and come and go as I wish. If anyone is to answer to anyone else...it will be you to me...as with JOseph. If you find it amusing, You two can become my father and mother and we can move about feeding as a family."
"But make no mistake...I am no child...and If I choose, I shall disappear forever. I let Casper bring me to you because I felt your pain at losing your family, Betty. I am sorry for your loss. If you wish it, I can end your suffering."
I looked at Patricia and smiled. I did not see a child at all but then I did see a beautiful little girl. I was torn. I hurt more now than I did when I was running and hiding and trying to save her. I spoke to Patricia as if I had failed her.
"But, I wanted to save you...to keep you from becoming one of us..and yet you already were." I dropped my head and dry sobbed. I felt JOseph's hand upon my shoulder and his whispers attempting to comfort me.
She spoke..."YOu cannot save the world, Betty. The world is dying and we shall be the reapers. Let's find them...the cruel...and feast to our heart's content."
I looked at her again and saw the child. I saw the beautiful brown haired angel who with dirty dress was brought to me by Casper. I felt her tiny hands clutch to my chest inside my coffin. I felt her little sighs as the sun began to rise. I missed my babies more now that I had in such a long time....decades.
"Patricia, can I ask one more thing from you?"
Patricia smiled and laughed. "sure, what is it?"
"Would you call me mommy?"
I watched Patricia's face change as she told her story. I felt the pain she felt at losing someone she loved. But the coldness in her eyes was the surest emotion I could feel and see. Patricia hated Casper and she wanted to destroy him.
"We must kill him now, Betty." Patricia looked up and shrugged away the air of reminiscence form her face. "We must strike and end this. I am finding it harder to mask my thoughts from him and even almost impossible to hide my immortality. I feel him sqirming and trying to figure out what is going on in our circle."
I moved to her and dropped to my knees. She backed away and the sound of her hair brushing against her back unnerved me. She no longer wished to touch me at all. There was no child here, only a short feind who wished to annialate those who gave her torment.
"Patricia, can you at least finish your story for me...please." I reached out to stroke her face and this she allowed.
"They bit me, they took turns taking my life from me and they laughed all the while. My mother lay at their feet, half dead, and sobbed for me. She reached for me, this I will never forget. My mother was so beautiful."
"They finished her off and then started to fight. I was barely aware of what was happening but It got very violent between Casper and his brothers. Apparently, they fought over who was to finish me and who was to loot the village. As the altercations insued, Tedrifer, Casper's brother, cut Casper across the face with his claws sending him down onto the ground on top of me. I remember his crushing weight on my little body and I remember something else. I remember the taste of vampire blood in my mouth as Casper screamed and spit in anger. The more they fought, the more they fell upon me and bled into me. I felt it in my eyes, my mouth and almost drowned on vampiric blood. The cut and bit each other and healed repeatedly. Not once did they pay attention to what they were doing. Finally Casper's brother Simson took me from the ground and finished me off. Then there was darkness."
Patricia looked down at her tiny hands and sighed. I could see that she was both sad and angry. I tried to read her mind but it was a stone wall. I could only guess at what she was thinking. Joseph returned from the shadows and crouched by her side.
"Madame, would you care for rest now? Do you need more subdtanence to remain warm and livid?" You seem pale again."
Patricia looked at JOseph and smiled. "I no longer need to hide, my darling." She reached up and pulled his face to hers kissing him lightly on his lips. "We must strike him now!"
Casper stood in the corner of the room seperating himself from the shadows. As he pulled from from the darkness, he smiled. His face showed revelation and humor.
"I see how you have tricked me little one...or old friend." Casper smirked and looked down toward the little brown haired angel.
Patricia smiled and spoke "I see no point in making such statements or giving any silly speaches. I think we should just get on with it. I see no reason to draw this out...I want you dead, 'father'.
Casper hissed then laughed. "And how do you suppose you will accomplish such a task with such.....little legs." Casper howled and held his stomach. He was oblivious to the silhoettes forming outside the little shack. He didn't even pick up the brainwaves from such creatures which might do him harm.
"My little legs have nothing to do with what I am capable of doing to you." Patricia tilted her head and continued. "I come from a place that lives with the supernatural as an everyday occurance, in fact the supernatural is quite natural to us. I have a present for you, Casper."
At that statement, the door flew open and bodys shambled through the threshold. They were putrid rotting things which moaned and grunted as they stepping toward us. The flesh barely clung to the bone but they moved none the less. Their eyes were filled with some strange light that both me and Joseph gawked at.
Casper turned and made some choked noise then backed away from the shambling bodies. Two then four then six shambled through the door. The mass came close to me but never made any indication that they noticed me at all. I pressed my dead white body against the wall and watched. Patricia hid one hand behind her back and fingered some funny shaped thing. I moved round the room to get a better look at what she had in her hand; a closer look and I saw that it was a small doll...an ugly one with shaggy brown hair. She squeezed the doll harder and shook it. Casper's expression changed and he backed away almost falling into Patricia. As one of the corpses reached toward him, he did fall and land at the little girl's feet. Joseph watched in horror as I did. Patricia spat in his face and spoke some language that I did not understand.
"Patricia, what is the meaning of this? Can we not do without such disgusting displays of power, my dear child?" Casper was scared no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He floundered and pushed against the ground but something held him down. "What? I cannot move!" Casper grew angry and glared at patricia.
"No, you have killed your last child, maker, master, father....killer." Patricia had him right where she wanted him and she bent to attack. Her little fangs burst through Casper's scalp as her free hand grasped his neck. Casper spun and slapped at the corpse nearest to him and pulled at Patricia's chocolate brown curls. She growled and dropped the little ragged doll onto the floor. She pounced on Casper again and sunk her teeth into his neck. Two of the corpses pulled at Casper's legs as he kicked. Casper screamed and beat at Patricia's face.
I felt myself move toward the crowd of undead frenzy. I had no control of my own and I felt her in my head. JOseph moved with me and took hold of one of Casper's arms. He bit down into Casper's wrist and began to drink. I fell upon him and bit down into his chest.
Before long, Casper stopped moving and the crowd of corpses fell into eatin him. Darkness came for me and I welcomed it.
"I found myself in the village of my childhood, the one where he killed me. I stayed there for months, feeding upon the sick and the wastes of the town. A couple took me in and cared for me. I guess you wonder how I fit in with the humans, how i passed for human to begin with. Well, my dark skin was always a shade or two darker even when I did not feed...so you can guess, that if i was filled with fresh blood then I was almost as human. The fresh blood would flow inside me and keep me livid. I can lock you out completely if I want....putting a wall around my mind, and this I taught Joseph when I made him. And you wonder how I came to perfect this gift...I learned to mask my thoughts years ago because of my weaknesses. You see, to others I am a child and being a child...small stature, and small hands...I have to learn more abilities in order to feed. As with the cripple or the fatherless...I must learn basic survival skills to compensate for the inability to grow taller or larger. I found others as I am and they taught me how to mask my thoughts. I can virtually become non existant If I wish it so. I have become a being of strategy. And with this being said...this is my plan for you.
You are mine...I will not mistreat you, nor will I slaughter those you love. You can pretend that I am your daughter if you wish...but I will disappear and come and go as I wish. If anyone is to answer to anyone else...it will be you to me...as with JOseph. If you find it amusing, You two can become my father and mother and we can move about feeding as a family."
"But make no mistake...I am no child...and If I choose, I shall disappear forever. I let Casper bring me to you because I felt your pain at losing your family, Betty. I am sorry for your loss. If you wish it, I can end your suffering."
I looked at Patricia and smiled. I did not see a child at all but then I did see a beautiful little girl. I was torn. I hurt more now than I did when I was running and hiding and trying to save her. I spoke to Patricia as if I had failed her.
"But, I wanted to save you...to keep you from becoming one of us..and yet you already were." I dropped my head and dry sobbed. I felt JOseph's hand upon my shoulder and his whispers attempting to comfort me.
She spoke..."YOu cannot save the world, Betty. The world is dying and we shall be the reapers. Let's find them...the cruel...and feast to our heart's content."
I looked at her again and saw the child. I saw the beautiful brown haired angel who with dirty dress was brought to me by Casper. I felt her tiny hands clutch to my chest inside my coffin. I felt her little sighs as the sun began to rise. I missed my babies more now that I had in such a long time....decades.
"Patricia, can I ask one more thing from you?"
Patricia smiled and laughed. "sure, what is it?"
"Would you call me mommy?"
Sunday, February 17, 2013
A dream I once had...part 14
“where are we going, Betty?”
Patricia was brave, as brave as any little girl could be held captive by a vampire. I envied her courage and innocence. I envied her living blood which coursed through every vein and artery. I… I turned my head in hunger and took a deep breath before answering her question.
“Do you want another mommy and daddy?” I turned back toward her and made eye contact, trying hard to hide my true desires for her life giving blood. I wanted to be a guide and help to this little one but truth be told, I wanted to eat her.
“I do…” Her eyes watered immediately and her lips quivered. “I miss my mommy.”
The dam broke and her little face fell into her dirty hands. She shoke with her sobs.
I wanted to hold her now. I wanted to bring comfort to her pain and make her know that everything would be alright. I figured that if I dropped her off at someone’s doorstep then she would find a home, but if I left her in the wrong hands, it could be a worse fate than the one with me. If, in fact, anything could be worse than risking your life with the undead as your chaperone. I was confused now more than ever at what I was meant to do. If I believed in god, then should I not pray?
“Patricia, come here.” I held out my hands to her and smiled as humanlike as possible.
She looked at me and furrowed her brows, then she got up and straightened her little tattered dress. In moments she was in my arms…sobbing like a new born. I bit my lip to contain my hunger. “It’s okay, Patricia, I will find you a home…somehow.”
The thick chocolate curls hung between my fingers and felt heavenly. For a moment, I thought I was holding my twins. The horrible memory of soothing my own babies pains momentarily gave me strength and the will not to bite. My heart hurt with almost a human hurt…in fact it screamed for all the things that once made me human. I felt a phantom tear near the corner of my eye and pushed her back from my shoulder so that I could get a good look at her face.
“Patricia, what do you want?” I offered her the key to her own destiny…even as young as she was, I wanted no part in her possible undoing. I wanted the decision to fall into her little hands as to what she wanted me to do.
From the corner of my eye, I saw his face, Casper. He winked at me and disappeared beyond the brush. I knew he enjoyed every minute of his little test and it made me shiver. As I sit upon the broken porch of the little dilapitated shack, I come to the realization that I was going to be followed and monitored throughout the whole ordeal. No matter where I left her or where we went, Casper was the master of this game. I dropped my head in defeat as I held her little white hands in mine.
“Patricia, I will find a way, I will save you.” My look was not riddled with hope, it wasn’t full of the promises a little girl would hope for, but it was full of something more. My eyes told her the truth and she turned her head to see what had caught my eyes before. When she looked back at me, I was amazed. I saw the understanding that most her age would never comprehend.
“I know, Betty, I know he means for me to die.” She leaned in and pulled herself up to whipser in my ear. “I saw him there, he is playing a game with you. I have an idea.”
Patricia smiled with a wisdom far beyond her age. For a moment, just a moment, I saw the tiny fangs from beneath her ruby lips.
“Betty…quick now…clear your thoughts!” Patricia held me tighter and sobbed fake sobs into my hair.
She whispered do softly into my ear. "Let us make our leave now, dear. This dreadful place fills me with melancholy. I haven't felt such darkness since I watched the townspeople laugh and cheer at the local beheadings." She sobbed harder and clutched my hair, pullin gently.
Then with her eyes locked with mine she pleaded. "Please...please take me away, mommy."
Patricia was brave, as brave as any little girl could be held captive by a vampire. I envied her courage and innocence. I envied her living blood which coursed through every vein and artery. I… I turned my head in hunger and took a deep breath before answering her question.
“Do you want another mommy and daddy?” I turned back toward her and made eye contact, trying hard to hide my true desires for her life giving blood. I wanted to be a guide and help to this little one but truth be told, I wanted to eat her.
“I do…” Her eyes watered immediately and her lips quivered. “I miss my mommy.”
The dam broke and her little face fell into her dirty hands. She shoke with her sobs.
I wanted to hold her now. I wanted to bring comfort to her pain and make her know that everything would be alright. I figured that if I dropped her off at someone’s doorstep then she would find a home, but if I left her in the wrong hands, it could be a worse fate than the one with me. If, in fact, anything could be worse than risking your life with the undead as your chaperone. I was confused now more than ever at what I was meant to do. If I believed in god, then should I not pray?
“Patricia, come here.” I held out my hands to her and smiled as humanlike as possible.
She looked at me and furrowed her brows, then she got up and straightened her little tattered dress. In moments she was in my arms…sobbing like a new born. I bit my lip to contain my hunger. “It’s okay, Patricia, I will find you a home…somehow.”
The thick chocolate curls hung between my fingers and felt heavenly. For a moment, I thought I was holding my twins. The horrible memory of soothing my own babies pains momentarily gave me strength and the will not to bite. My heart hurt with almost a human hurt…in fact it screamed for all the things that once made me human. I felt a phantom tear near the corner of my eye and pushed her back from my shoulder so that I could get a good look at her face.
“Patricia, what do you want?” I offered her the key to her own destiny…even as young as she was, I wanted no part in her possible undoing. I wanted the decision to fall into her little hands as to what she wanted me to do.
From the corner of my eye, I saw his face, Casper. He winked at me and disappeared beyond the brush. I knew he enjoyed every minute of his little test and it made me shiver. As I sit upon the broken porch of the little dilapitated shack, I come to the realization that I was going to be followed and monitored throughout the whole ordeal. No matter where I left her or where we went, Casper was the master of this game. I dropped my head in defeat as I held her little white hands in mine.
“Patricia, I will find a way, I will save you.” My look was not riddled with hope, it wasn’t full of the promises a little girl would hope for, but it was full of something more. My eyes told her the truth and she turned her head to see what had caught my eyes before. When she looked back at me, I was amazed. I saw the understanding that most her age would never comprehend.
“I know, Betty, I know he means for me to die.” She leaned in and pulled herself up to whipser in my ear. “I saw him there, he is playing a game with you. I have an idea.”
Patricia smiled with a wisdom far beyond her age. For a moment, just a moment, I saw the tiny fangs from beneath her ruby lips.
“Betty…quick now…clear your thoughts!” Patricia held me tighter and sobbed fake sobs into my hair.
She whispered do softly into my ear. "Let us make our leave now, dear. This dreadful place fills me with melancholy. I haven't felt such darkness since I watched the townspeople laugh and cheer at the local beheadings." She sobbed harder and clutched my hair, pullin gently.
Then with her eyes locked with mine she pleaded. "Please...please take me away, mommy."
A dream I once had...part 13
My eyes fluttered open to darkness. I smelled the earth surrounding me mixed with his scent. Then the scent of various insects invaded my nostrils as well. I was alone. Panick took over my senses making me wiggle and push out with my hands. Dirt was everywhere. Rich, moist dirt surrounded my body and I remembered where I was.
"Joseph?" My breathing grew fast and ragged. I was weak, my hands scrambled and scratched against the dirt wall and my feet kicked forward to no avail. Joseph was gone, that weird vampire had trapped me here. I was too weak to pull free but awake enough to enjoy my madness in the dark.
"FUCK!!!" I began to cry and grunt. My lips began to shiver as I clawed the earth and kicked against the dirt wall. As I inched backwards, my back scraped the wall. I was cold...lack of blood...then I remembered the rest. "You bastard."
As I felt the phantom presence of his fangs in my neck, I growled. "FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! You tricked me, you blood sucking asshole!"
The earth gave way and I felt myself inch further backward. I felt air upon my naked feet and stopped. I smiled and pushed harder. "Oh wow, you really stopped me, didn't you dumbass. Stupid arogant fucker!" I laughed maniacally and heard my dress rip. Then as I kicked against the wall again, the rip blasted my ear even louder. I shivered from the noise.
Before I tried the moist earth once more, I turned my claws upward and dug into the wet earth. One pull brought me into the air up to my knees. I pressed my feet against the outside wall of the burrow and pushed completely free. I landed in the mud with a wet plop. I was disgusting and sticky. I stood for a moment then fell back into the slush. My legs were weak and my head spun. It was plenty dark and fairly quiet. All but the distant coyote, was hushed in the night. I exhaled and grabbed a root. In one heaving grunt, I stood unsteady and surveyed my surroundings. My knees shook violently and my vision wavered. I had to feed or I would never leave this area. I suddenly felt hurt by Joseph's betrayal. I hadn't felt this kind of pain in decades. I had took off the mask, let down my uard...yes, for JOseph, there was a big gaping hole in my wall of self protection. He left me here. I could smell him all over me.
In the corner of my eye, I saw it, a large bird. The beast squaked and screamed tangled in the briars. A gift, it seemed but from who. God had no mercy on me. I moved closer to the animal and dropped to all fours. Crawling through the mud, I thought about Joseph. where was he? Why did he leave me here? I had no clue, I searched with my mind but nothing. It was as if he never existed. But I knew better. I couldn't stop taking in his lingering scent. I moved closer to the struggling bird and it turned toward me. Its squaking grew louder and it pulled with new strength. It almost pulled free but my hands reached it before its will could save it.
As I broke its neck and began to drink, I plopped back down in the mud. I fed as my heart continued to hurt.The pain grew and grew. It was a strange feeling, a strong sense of longing and lonliness. A lovesick sensation that only humans wrote about in novels. I felt this and it was strong. It even overwhelmed my hatred for him. But there were other emotions which swirled in my head. Never before had I felt content with the knowledge of something greater than myself. Something stronger than my will. The harder I tried to hate him for leaving me here, the more I desired his presence and the more I admired his stregth. "Asshole."
When I was strong enough to stand, I resumed my journey onward...masking my thoughts, becoming nothing,just like Joseph told me to do.
The only proof of his existence was his smell lingering on my dress. I gripped it close and it comforted me. I secretly hoped to find him before his scent wore off. I wanted to touch him and bury my face against his chest. I wanted more than anything to hear his undead heartbeat and feel his arms protecting me. It seemed I couldn't clear my thoughts for more than 5 minutes. No wonder he left me here, I was impossibly obsessed.
"Joseph?" My breathing grew fast and ragged. I was weak, my hands scrambled and scratched against the dirt wall and my feet kicked forward to no avail. Joseph was gone, that weird vampire had trapped me here. I was too weak to pull free but awake enough to enjoy my madness in the dark.
"FUCK!!!" I began to cry and grunt. My lips began to shiver as I clawed the earth and kicked against the dirt wall. As I inched backwards, my back scraped the wall. I was cold...lack of blood...then I remembered the rest. "You bastard."
As I felt the phantom presence of his fangs in my neck, I growled. "FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! You tricked me, you blood sucking asshole!"
The earth gave way and I felt myself inch further backward. I felt air upon my naked feet and stopped. I smiled and pushed harder. "Oh wow, you really stopped me, didn't you dumbass. Stupid arogant fucker!" I laughed maniacally and heard my dress rip. Then as I kicked against the wall again, the rip blasted my ear even louder. I shivered from the noise.
Before I tried the moist earth once more, I turned my claws upward and dug into the wet earth. One pull brought me into the air up to my knees. I pressed my feet against the outside wall of the burrow and pushed completely free. I landed in the mud with a wet plop. I was disgusting and sticky. I stood for a moment then fell back into the slush. My legs were weak and my head spun. It was plenty dark and fairly quiet. All but the distant coyote, was hushed in the night. I exhaled and grabbed a root. In one heaving grunt, I stood unsteady and surveyed my surroundings. My knees shook violently and my vision wavered. I had to feed or I would never leave this area. I suddenly felt hurt by Joseph's betrayal. I hadn't felt this kind of pain in decades. I had took off the mask, let down my uard...yes, for JOseph, there was a big gaping hole in my wall of self protection. He left me here. I could smell him all over me.
In the corner of my eye, I saw it, a large bird. The beast squaked and screamed tangled in the briars. A gift, it seemed but from who. God had no mercy on me. I moved closer to the animal and dropped to all fours. Crawling through the mud, I thought about Joseph. where was he? Why did he leave me here? I had no clue, I searched with my mind but nothing. It was as if he never existed. But I knew better. I couldn't stop taking in his lingering scent. I moved closer to the struggling bird and it turned toward me. Its squaking grew louder and it pulled with new strength. It almost pulled free but my hands reached it before its will could save it.
As I broke its neck and began to drink, I plopped back down in the mud. I fed as my heart continued to hurt.The pain grew and grew. It was a strange feeling, a strong sense of longing and lonliness. A lovesick sensation that only humans wrote about in novels. I felt this and it was strong. It even overwhelmed my hatred for him. But there were other emotions which swirled in my head. Never before had I felt content with the knowledge of something greater than myself. Something stronger than my will. The harder I tried to hate him for leaving me here, the more I desired his presence and the more I admired his stregth. "Asshole."
When I was strong enough to stand, I resumed my journey onward...masking my thoughts, becoming nothing,just like Joseph told me to do.
The only proof of his existence was his smell lingering on my dress. I gripped it close and it comforted me. I secretly hoped to find him before his scent wore off. I wanted to touch him and bury my face against his chest. I wanted more than anything to hear his undead heartbeat and feel his arms protecting me. It seemed I couldn't clear my thoughts for more than 5 minutes. No wonder he left me here, I was impossibly obsessed.
A dream I once had...part 12
My eyes fluttered open to darkness. I smelled the earth surrounding me mixed with his scent. Then the scent of various insects invaded my nostrils as well. I was alone. Panic took over my senses making me wiggle and push out with my hands. Dirt was everywhere. Rich, moist dirt surrounded my body and I remembered where I was.
"Joseph?" My breathing grew fast and ragged. I was weak, my hands scrambled and scratched against the dirt wall and my feet kicked forward to no avail. Joseph was gone, that weird vampire had trapped me here. I was too weak to pull free but awake enough to enjoy my madness in the dark.
"FUCK!!!" I began to cry and grunt. My lips began to shiver as I clawed the earth and kicked against the dirt wall. As I inched backwards, my back scraped the wall. I was cold...lack of blood...then I remembered the rest. "You bastard."
As I felt the phantom presence of his fangs in my neck, I growled. "FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! You tricked me, you blood sucking asshole!"
The earth gave way and I felt myself inch further backward. I felt air upon my naked feet and stopped. I smiled and pushed harder. "Oh wow, you really stopped me, didn't you dumbass. Stupid arrogant fucker!" I laughed maniacally and heard my dress rip. Then as I kicked against the wall again, the rip blasted my ear even louder. I shivered from the noise.
Before I tried the moist earth once more, I turned my claws upward and dug into the wet earth. One pull brought me into the air up to my knees. I pressed my feet against the outside wall of the burrow and pushed completely free. I landed in the mud with a wet plop. I was disgusting and sticky. I stood for a moment then fell back into the slush. My legs were weak and my head spun. It was plenty dark and fairly quiet. All but the distant coyote, was hushed in the night. I exhaled and grabbed a root. In one heaving grunt, I stood unsteady and surveyed my surroundings. My knees shook violently and my vision wavered. I had to feed or I would never leave this area. I suddenly felt hurt by Joseph's betrayal. I hadn't felt this kind of pain in decades. I had took off the mask, let down my guard...yes, for JOseph, there was a big gaping hole in my wall of self protection. He left me here. I could smell him all over me.
In the corner of my eye, I saw it, a large bird. The beast squaked and screamed tangled in the briars. A gift, it seemed but from who. God had no mercy on me. I moved closer to the animal and dropped to all fours. Crawling through the mud, I thought about Joseph. where was he? Why did he leave me here? I had no clue, I searched with my mind but nothing. It was as if he never existed. But I knew better. I couldn't stop taking in his lingering scent. I moved closer to the struggling bird and it turned toward me. Its squaking grew louder and it pulled with new strength. It almost pulled free but my hands reached it before its will could save it.
As I broke its neck and began to drink, I plopped back down in the mud. I fed as my heart continued to hurt.The pain grew and grew. It was a strange feeling, a strong sense of longing and lonliness. A lovesick sensation that only humans write about in novels. I felt this and it was strong. It even overwhelmed my hatred for him. But there were other emotions which swirled in my head. Never before had I felt content with the knowledge of something greater than myself. Something stronger than my will. The harder I tried to hate him for leaving me here, the more I desired his presence and the more I admired his strength. "Asshole."
When I was strong enough to stand, I resumed my journey onward...masking my thoughts, becoming nothing,just like Joseph told me to do.
The only proof of his existence was his smell lingering on my dress. I gripped it close and it comforted me. I secretly hoped to find him before his scent wore off. I wanted to touch him and bury my face against his chest. I wanted more than anything to hear his undead heartbeat and feel his arms protecting me. It seemed I couldn't clear my thoughts for more than 5 minutes. No wonder he left me here, I was impossibly obsessed.
"Joseph?" My breathing grew fast and ragged. I was weak, my hands scrambled and scratched against the dirt wall and my feet kicked forward to no avail. Joseph was gone, that weird vampire had trapped me here. I was too weak to pull free but awake enough to enjoy my madness in the dark.
"FUCK!!!" I began to cry and grunt. My lips began to shiver as I clawed the earth and kicked against the dirt wall. As I inched backwards, my back scraped the wall. I was cold...lack of blood...then I remembered the rest. "You bastard."
As I felt the phantom presence of his fangs in my neck, I growled. "FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! You tricked me, you blood sucking asshole!"
The earth gave way and I felt myself inch further backward. I felt air upon my naked feet and stopped. I smiled and pushed harder. "Oh wow, you really stopped me, didn't you dumbass. Stupid arrogant fucker!" I laughed maniacally and heard my dress rip. Then as I kicked against the wall again, the rip blasted my ear even louder. I shivered from the noise.
Before I tried the moist earth once more, I turned my claws upward and dug into the wet earth. One pull brought me into the air up to my knees. I pressed my feet against the outside wall of the burrow and pushed completely free. I landed in the mud with a wet plop. I was disgusting and sticky. I stood for a moment then fell back into the slush. My legs were weak and my head spun. It was plenty dark and fairly quiet. All but the distant coyote, was hushed in the night. I exhaled and grabbed a root. In one heaving grunt, I stood unsteady and surveyed my surroundings. My knees shook violently and my vision wavered. I had to feed or I would never leave this area. I suddenly felt hurt by Joseph's betrayal. I hadn't felt this kind of pain in decades. I had took off the mask, let down my guard...yes, for JOseph, there was a big gaping hole in my wall of self protection. He left me here. I could smell him all over me.
In the corner of my eye, I saw it, a large bird. The beast squaked and screamed tangled in the briars. A gift, it seemed but from who. God had no mercy on me. I moved closer to the animal and dropped to all fours. Crawling through the mud, I thought about Joseph. where was he? Why did he leave me here? I had no clue, I searched with my mind but nothing. It was as if he never existed. But I knew better. I couldn't stop taking in his lingering scent. I moved closer to the struggling bird and it turned toward me. Its squaking grew louder and it pulled with new strength. It almost pulled free but my hands reached it before its will could save it.
As I broke its neck and began to drink, I plopped back down in the mud. I fed as my heart continued to hurt.The pain grew and grew. It was a strange feeling, a strong sense of longing and lonliness. A lovesick sensation that only humans write about in novels. I felt this and it was strong. It even overwhelmed my hatred for him. But there were other emotions which swirled in my head. Never before had I felt content with the knowledge of something greater than myself. Something stronger than my will. The harder I tried to hate him for leaving me here, the more I desired his presence and the more I admired his strength. "Asshole."
When I was strong enough to stand, I resumed my journey onward...masking my thoughts, becoming nothing,just like Joseph told me to do.
The only proof of his existence was his smell lingering on my dress. I gripped it close and it comforted me. I secretly hoped to find him before his scent wore off. I wanted to touch him and bury my face against his chest. I wanted more than anything to hear his undead heartbeat and feel his arms protecting me. It seemed I couldn't clear my thoughts for more than 5 minutes. No wonder he left me here, I was impossibly obsessed.
A dream I once had...part 11
"Dig Betty!" Joseph commanded beside me. "hurry, the sun is rising!"
The loud roaring of the setting sun invaded my ears until I could barely hear Joseph speaking. The birds were screaming, mice were scratching and water from somewhere pounded the earth like a loud drum. My nails tore furiously into the earth ripping a nail free. The pain took my mind from the loud noises that were attacking my dead brain. "I am going as fast as I can. I was hoping we had found a cave somewhere around here. This is really a pain in the ass, you know."
"Just dig Betty!" Joseph was waist deep in a burrow in the earth and flinging dark earth over his shoulder and some into my face. He panted loudly adding his grunts to all the other irritating noises. "By the way, he moved again."
"JOseph, I told you that this was bullshit, didn't I?" I dug like a mad dog burrowing deeper into the earth and cussing under my breath. Right now the handsome man didn't seem so handsome and dashing.
"Just a bit deeper. And, by the way, I am no newbie vampire." Joseph laughed and stopped for a moment. He looked toward me.
A strand of red hair fell into my face and swung in front of my eyes. I wiped the hair away smudging my face with rich moist dirt. "What do you mean? I read your mind, that night in the dungeon. You are a newb...wait a minute...you are not a newb. How did you do that?"
"I told you before, masking your thoughts is incredibly effective." Joseph laughed at me again and continued to dig. His powerful back bulged underneath his blouse.
I felt desire fighting with irritation. "That's it! I am digging no more. Fuck this, fuck the sun!" I crawled from the burrowed grave and planted my hands on my hips. Joseph was turning out to be quite the asshole.
"I told you I was an asshole. Oh wait, no I didn't." He stopped digging and dusted his hands against his trousers.
I was so angry I could tie him to a tree and let the sun have him. "Joseph, why did you decieve me?" I felt like a fool covered in mud and leaves. "Just tell me why."
Joseph took my waist in his large hands and smiled down at me. His beautiful blue eyes held compassion and tenderness. "Because my dear, you are very naive. You cannot survive this. You cannot win with the likes of Casper. And now, we are open, vulnerable and the sun is coming. If you had of trusted me, we would already have him in our grasp." Joseph pursed his lips and looked defeated.
I felt like a failure. Everytime I thought I was being assertive, I ended up being a fool...a very gullible one at that. "Okay...once again...okay. I will trust you, Joseph."
Joseph rubbed mud on my face and smiled. "No you wont, but it's okay." Without warning, he bent his mouth to mine. I was exhilerated. As he moved in for the kiss, my lips parted and I inhaled sharply. "Joseph..."
I had no time to respond as he bent my neck and drove his fangs deep within my throbbing vein. I stiffened and squealed with surprise. He was so strong as he clamped one hand on my mouth and the other around both my wrists. He drank me as he pulled us both into the hollowed out burrow. The walls gripped us safely like a womb while Joseph took control from me. When he finished, I could barely hold conciousness. I heard his soft words speaking to me through a thin haze.
"You are special, silly one. Shhh.. Sleep."
The loud roaring of the setting sun invaded my ears until I could barely hear Joseph speaking. The birds were screaming, mice were scratching and water from somewhere pounded the earth like a loud drum. My nails tore furiously into the earth ripping a nail free. The pain took my mind from the loud noises that were attacking my dead brain. "I am going as fast as I can. I was hoping we had found a cave somewhere around here. This is really a pain in the ass, you know."
"Just dig Betty!" Joseph was waist deep in a burrow in the earth and flinging dark earth over his shoulder and some into my face. He panted loudly adding his grunts to all the other irritating noises. "By the way, he moved again."
"JOseph, I told you that this was bullshit, didn't I?" I dug like a mad dog burrowing deeper into the earth and cussing under my breath. Right now the handsome man didn't seem so handsome and dashing.
"Just a bit deeper. And, by the way, I am no newbie vampire." Joseph laughed and stopped for a moment. He looked toward me.
A strand of red hair fell into my face and swung in front of my eyes. I wiped the hair away smudging my face with rich moist dirt. "What do you mean? I read your mind, that night in the dungeon. You are a newb...wait a minute...you are not a newb. How did you do that?"
"I told you before, masking your thoughts is incredibly effective." Joseph laughed at me again and continued to dig. His powerful back bulged underneath his blouse.
I felt desire fighting with irritation. "That's it! I am digging no more. Fuck this, fuck the sun!" I crawled from the burrowed grave and planted my hands on my hips. Joseph was turning out to be quite the asshole.
"I told you I was an asshole. Oh wait, no I didn't." He stopped digging and dusted his hands against his trousers.
I was so angry I could tie him to a tree and let the sun have him. "Joseph, why did you decieve me?" I felt like a fool covered in mud and leaves. "Just tell me why."
Joseph took my waist in his large hands and smiled down at me. His beautiful blue eyes held compassion and tenderness. "Because my dear, you are very naive. You cannot survive this. You cannot win with the likes of Casper. And now, we are open, vulnerable and the sun is coming. If you had of trusted me, we would already have him in our grasp." Joseph pursed his lips and looked defeated.
I felt like a failure. Everytime I thought I was being assertive, I ended up being a fool...a very gullible one at that. "Okay...once again...okay. I will trust you, Joseph."
Joseph rubbed mud on my face and smiled. "No you wont, but it's okay." Without warning, he bent his mouth to mine. I was exhilerated. As he moved in for the kiss, my lips parted and I inhaled sharply. "Joseph..."
I had no time to respond as he bent my neck and drove his fangs deep within my throbbing vein. I stiffened and squealed with surprise. He was so strong as he clamped one hand on my mouth and the other around both my wrists. He drank me as he pulled us both into the hollowed out burrow. The walls gripped us safely like a womb while Joseph took control from me. When he finished, I could barely hold conciousness. I heard his soft words speaking to me through a thin haze.
"You are special, silly one. Shhh.. Sleep."
A dream i once had...part 10
"Joseph, I can't be nothing anymore." I turned to face the vampire. I stared upward with a furrowed brow and exhaled slowly.
Joseph closed his eyes and dropped his head. "You know, you just gave away our location again."
"Joseph, this is bullshit. We have inhuman speed, inhuman senses, so why are we trying to get to Casper like this?" I am growing impatient.
Joseph took his head in his hands and growled. "He could kill her at any moment and somehow he hasn't decided to do that yet. Do you want to try and get to him without making him rip her precious little throat out?"
I was surprised at Joseph's anger and kind of amused at the same time. His anger made me have the strangest feeling from a place I hadn't used in a very long time. "Joseph, I am sorry, I cannot help myself. When I don't understand something, I get kind of frustrated. My mind doesn't accept inconsistencies. If I think I know a better way, it is hard for me to go along with others." I smiled at him and tilted my head. "I am sorry."
Joseph stared down at me for a moment then licked his lips. I caught a glimpse of his sharp canine and wondered how many people he had ripped apart before he found me. I wondered what kind of sounds he made when he devoured them. Was it similar to the sounds he made when he was climaxing, and what did that sound like? The thoughts of Joseph raced throughout my mind and I could not focus on anything else.
"BETTY!!" Joseph took my face in both hands and squeezed tightly. "You have got to stop thinking about me. I cannot possibly be that entertaining at the moment. Do you want to find her or not?"
In the distance a wolf howled bringing me back to reality. I smiled at Joseph and pried his hands from my face. "Yes Joseph, I want my little girl back."
"Then trust me. I know you are having a hard time with that right now, but you have to trust me." Joseph smacked my cheek lightly and took my hand.
Right before I became nothing again, I thought about how soft his hand was in mine.
Joseph frowned at me and pinched my hand.
Joseph closed his eyes and dropped his head. "You know, you just gave away our location again."
"Joseph, this is bullshit. We have inhuman speed, inhuman senses, so why are we trying to get to Casper like this?" I am growing impatient.
Joseph took his head in his hands and growled. "He could kill her at any moment and somehow he hasn't decided to do that yet. Do you want to try and get to him without making him rip her precious little throat out?"
I was surprised at Joseph's anger and kind of amused at the same time. His anger made me have the strangest feeling from a place I hadn't used in a very long time. "Joseph, I am sorry, I cannot help myself. When I don't understand something, I get kind of frustrated. My mind doesn't accept inconsistencies. If I think I know a better way, it is hard for me to go along with others." I smiled at him and tilted my head. "I am sorry."
Joseph stared down at me for a moment then licked his lips. I caught a glimpse of his sharp canine and wondered how many people he had ripped apart before he found me. I wondered what kind of sounds he made when he devoured them. Was it similar to the sounds he made when he was climaxing, and what did that sound like? The thoughts of Joseph raced throughout my mind and I could not focus on anything else.
"BETTY!!" Joseph took my face in both hands and squeezed tightly. "You have got to stop thinking about me. I cannot possibly be that entertaining at the moment. Do you want to find her or not?"
In the distance a wolf howled bringing me back to reality. I smiled at Joseph and pried his hands from my face. "Yes Joseph, I want my little girl back."
"Then trust me. I know you are having a hard time with that right now, but you have to trust me." Joseph smacked my cheek lightly and took my hand.
Right before I became nothing again, I thought about how soft his hand was in mine.
Joseph frowned at me and pinched my hand.
A dream I once had...part 9
Casper would change his location as soon as he realised we were almost there. This seemed like an impossible task. Joseph, squeezed my hand and pulled me onward. I did not understand why he kept trying despite my whining, but he persisted.
Everytime he looked at me, I felt some strange hold on me. It was different from Casper. It wasn't control, it was something else. I felt silly and trudged on cursing over every knot and twig that caused me to stumble. "Joseph, how are we going to outsmart him?" I looked up at Joseph with a worried brow.
"Will you just trust me. I told you to mask your thoughts and he wouldn't be able to find our location. Aren't you doing that?"
Joseph looked frustrated by my lack of control. He had no idea the reason I couldn't mask my thoughts was because my thoughts were filled with him. I had become enamored by his presence. I could read him as he could me, but not all of him. He was, indeed, very good at masking his thoughts. At times I caught glimpses of myself in his thoughts and then cleverly,something else would cover the thought. Then, he would smile and tug my hand. That is when he would tell me to try harder.
"I'm trying, I just cant control it. My mind keeps wandering to silly things." I quickly tried to mask a stray thought but obviously Joseph had read it already. He smiled and kissed my hand. "It's okay...just try now, we are getting close again."
I exhaled and tried to push throughts of his handsome face to the back of my mind. This was ridiculous, I had just met him. I usually was able to resist human emotion much better than this.
Joseph stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. "You have to stop. If you want to find her, you have to clear your mind." Joseph looked at me and tried to suppress the smile. I laughed without thinking and cleared my throat.
"Do you think it might work if I imagined you to be Casper. Then as soon as the thought passed through my mind, I would immediately get rid of it." I felt guilty just a tad. Do not know why actually but I figured this crazy idea might just work.
"You are really making this much more confusing than it should be." Joseph frowned at me and squeezed my hand. "Can you do it? If you can't then we are wasting our time."
I nodded solemnly and bit my lower lip. "I will try really hard. I want to save her, Joseph." I felt his irritation and hated myself for being so immature.
Joseph started ahead again as he pulled me forward. Then in a moment of quick decision, Joseph stopped and changed his direction slightly. "He has moved again, he is headed back North." Joseph turned and looked down at me. His blue eyes were darker, more serious as he stared. "Can you clear your mind, Betty?"
I stared into his eyes and thought of him only as a blood sucker. He was just a man, nothing more. He had come to help me and that is all. I exhaled and furrowed my brow.
"I can do it Joseph. I am ready."
Everytime he looked at me, I felt some strange hold on me. It was different from Casper. It wasn't control, it was something else. I felt silly and trudged on cursing over every knot and twig that caused me to stumble. "Joseph, how are we going to outsmart him?" I looked up at Joseph with a worried brow.
"Will you just trust me. I told you to mask your thoughts and he wouldn't be able to find our location. Aren't you doing that?"
Joseph looked frustrated by my lack of control. He had no idea the reason I couldn't mask my thoughts was because my thoughts were filled with him. I had become enamored by his presence. I could read him as he could me, but not all of him. He was, indeed, very good at masking his thoughts. At times I caught glimpses of myself in his thoughts and then cleverly,something else would cover the thought. Then, he would smile and tug my hand. That is when he would tell me to try harder.
"I'm trying, I just cant control it. My mind keeps wandering to silly things." I quickly tried to mask a stray thought but obviously Joseph had read it already. He smiled and kissed my hand. "It's okay...just try now, we are getting close again."
I exhaled and tried to push throughts of his handsome face to the back of my mind. This was ridiculous, I had just met him. I usually was able to resist human emotion much better than this.
Joseph stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. "You have to stop. If you want to find her, you have to clear your mind." Joseph looked at me and tried to suppress the smile. I laughed without thinking and cleared my throat.
"Do you think it might work if I imagined you to be Casper. Then as soon as the thought passed through my mind, I would immediately get rid of it." I felt guilty just a tad. Do not know why actually but I figured this crazy idea might just work.
"You are really making this much more confusing than it should be." Joseph frowned at me and squeezed my hand. "Can you do it? If you can't then we are wasting our time."
I nodded solemnly and bit my lower lip. "I will try really hard. I want to save her, Joseph." I felt his irritation and hated myself for being so immature.
Joseph started ahead again as he pulled me forward. Then in a moment of quick decision, Joseph stopped and changed his direction slightly. "He has moved again, he is headed back North." Joseph turned and looked down at me. His blue eyes were darker, more serious as he stared. "Can you clear your mind, Betty?"
I stared into his eyes and thought of him only as a blood sucker. He was just a man, nothing more. He had come to help me and that is all. I exhaled and furrowed my brow.
"I can do it Joseph. I am ready."
A dream I once had ...part 8
He watched me and I watched him. From a distance, he seemed to pity me but I could smell that he was inhuman as well as I. His eyes were soft, something that I had never been used to and it unnerved me.
“what are you looking at?” I screached, through hot tears. I had no interest in entertaining the local vampire newbs.
As I waited, I could hear him pity me. He actually wanted to break the rules and save me. This was odd, because he did not even know me at all. I was holed up, as slave to Casper and this vampire wanted to save me. I wondered what his secret agenda must be. No one saved another from the elite without some reason, some promise of fortune. But yet, his eyes never moved from me. I felt this strange feeling envelope me, a feeling of warmth which traveled downward and spread throughout my whole being. It couldn’t be.
I shifted and turned away from his stares. He wasn’t a bad looking vampire at all. He was handsome one with dark hair and a gentle face but I had to keep my mind in one direction. I had to save the girl. Leaning my head against the cold stones, I sighed with defeat. I knew the impossibility of what I wanted and the consequences of my attempts to escape. But I had no chance to grovel in my vampiric insecurities. A couple of sounds erupted in my ears and a puff of dust settled before me as the door opened. The mysterious gentleman vampire was standing in the opening of the cell offering me his hand.
“Come, come with me.” he stood staring down at me with the most beautiful blue eyes. I could only stare for long moments of time before accepting his cold dead hand in gratitude. I reached up reluctantly. My fingers brushed his and I gasped.
” Joseph?” The name filled my brain instantaneously as my fingers touched his. “Thank you, for helping me.”
A wonderful strength filled my body and I knew in an instant what he was here for. I knew he had chosen me from the others of the clan and he was willing to help me. My thoughts danced with his and we shared a quick smile.
“I am glad you found me.” I exhaled in contentment and hugged his chest. His height drew my face upwards to greet him. “I know why you are here but I need your help.”
Joseph smiled back and spoke “yes, my love.”
“what are you looking at?” I screached, through hot tears. I had no interest in entertaining the local vampire newbs.
As I waited, I could hear him pity me. He actually wanted to break the rules and save me. This was odd, because he did not even know me at all. I was holed up, as slave to Casper and this vampire wanted to save me. I wondered what his secret agenda must be. No one saved another from the elite without some reason, some promise of fortune. But yet, his eyes never moved from me. I felt this strange feeling envelope me, a feeling of warmth which traveled downward and spread throughout my whole being. It couldn’t be.
I shifted and turned away from his stares. He wasn’t a bad looking vampire at all. He was handsome one with dark hair and a gentle face but I had to keep my mind in one direction. I had to save the girl. Leaning my head against the cold stones, I sighed with defeat. I knew the impossibility of what I wanted and the consequences of my attempts to escape. But I had no chance to grovel in my vampiric insecurities. A couple of sounds erupted in my ears and a puff of dust settled before me as the door opened. The mysterious gentleman vampire was standing in the opening of the cell offering me his hand.
“Come, come with me.” he stood staring down at me with the most beautiful blue eyes. I could only stare for long moments of time before accepting his cold dead hand in gratitude. I reached up reluctantly. My fingers brushed his and I gasped.
” Joseph?” The name filled my brain instantaneously as my fingers touched his. “Thank you, for helping me.”
A wonderful strength filled my body and I knew in an instant what he was here for. I knew he had chosen me from the others of the clan and he was willing to help me. My thoughts danced with his and we shared a quick smile.
“I am glad you found me.” I exhaled in contentment and hugged his chest. His height drew my face upwards to greet him. “I know why you are here but I need your help.”
Joseph smiled back and spoke “yes, my love.”
A dream I once had...part 7
I vaguely remember what happened after Casper struck me, it was dreamlike and I loved him...no,that cannot be right. I remember Martisa leaving with the little girl and Casper’s hand flying across my face. I wish I could understand how I let it get out of control. I was confused..sitting upon the floor with the thought that Casper had her, had his filthy claws on my little girl...I hated him/loved him...I felt sick.
I stood in darkness, only illuminated by the moon’s rays falling through the circular window in the ceiling. I stared at the beams which fell across my arm and fell broken onto the floor. I looked down. My shoes were gone and my feet were covered in something black. I grimaced and balled my toes under in a feeble attempt to wipe the black stuff from my feet. My hands were clean except for the single red streak on the underside of my forearm. I recognized it as blood. My mouth ached. All of a sudden, my mouth hurt like hell, bringing me from my silly reverie.
I was captive. I knew this by my surroundings and I recognized the place. A sudden wrenching seized my guts and I sit down hard upon the cold stone floor. I realized where he held me and it brought back sudden floods of memories. My sweet sweet babies, I killed them here. Gasping for breath I rolled over pushing my face against the wall. I sobbed hard and suddenly as feelings of anger, hunger and pain mixed and pulled me down into the darkness of my past.
“I hate you, Casper.” I screamed as loud as I could hearing only my echo. I imagined the tears running fast across my dirty cheeks. I lifted my hand an felt nothing, nothing except my gashed lip. The pain gave me rest from the pain inside. Reaching up and touching my lip coated my fingers with fresh blood. The scream had re-opened the gash and somehow I was grateful for the reality of my physical pain.
“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!!! You filthy bastard!” I moaned and pushed myself completely onto the stone floor. Onto my side, I curled into fetal postition and gave in to my sobs. My little fangs pushed back through my gums and ground into my lower lip. I felt it not and I pushed them deeper in. Twin streams of rich dark vampiric blood flowed down my chin onto the floor. The drops were loud. A drum beat in the distance slowly bekoning, pulling and hypnotising. I opened my eyes and watched the crimson drops fall into the dust.
The drum beat….Tum…Tum…Tum
I stood in darkness, only illuminated by the moon’s rays falling through the circular window in the ceiling. I stared at the beams which fell across my arm and fell broken onto the floor. I looked down. My shoes were gone and my feet were covered in something black. I grimaced and balled my toes under in a feeble attempt to wipe the black stuff from my feet. My hands were clean except for the single red streak on the underside of my forearm. I recognized it as blood. My mouth ached. All of a sudden, my mouth hurt like hell, bringing me from my silly reverie.
I was captive. I knew this by my surroundings and I recognized the place. A sudden wrenching seized my guts and I sit down hard upon the cold stone floor. I realized where he held me and it brought back sudden floods of memories. My sweet sweet babies, I killed them here. Gasping for breath I rolled over pushing my face against the wall. I sobbed hard and suddenly as feelings of anger, hunger and pain mixed and pulled me down into the darkness of my past.
“I hate you, Casper.” I screamed as loud as I could hearing only my echo. I imagined the tears running fast across my dirty cheeks. I lifted my hand an felt nothing, nothing except my gashed lip. The pain gave me rest from the pain inside. Reaching up and touching my lip coated my fingers with fresh blood. The scream had re-opened the gash and somehow I was grateful for the reality of my physical pain.
“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!!! You filthy bastard!” I moaned and pushed myself completely onto the stone floor. Onto my side, I curled into fetal postition and gave in to my sobs. My little fangs pushed back through my gums and ground into my lower lip. I felt it not and I pushed them deeper in. Twin streams of rich dark vampiric blood flowed down my chin onto the floor. The drops were loud. A drum beat in the distance slowly bekoning, pulling and hypnotising. I opened my eyes and watched the crimson drops fall into the dust.
The drum beat….Tum…Tum…Tum
A dream I once had...part 6
I may be one of the most confused people who have ever lived or either the biggest fool. Whichever it is: I guess it doesn't matter.
I lay with my head in his lap as he played with my hair. Casper smiled that wonderful smile he did and ran his hand across my forehead. His voice was like some silken material rubbing against itself and so I sighed at the softness of it. I didn't know what magic he used or if he did at all but I couldn't shake it and I hated my weakness. He spoke and at first I didn't hear a word. My mind had wandered to the point of his goodbye. It would be soon as all he did anymore was drop by to say hello. What was the point anyway?
"You are beautiful." he spoke in my ear and I smiled. The sugary sweetness of his words dripped into my ear and down into my soul. This is why I hated him sometimes. This is why my heart ached so. He would speak such beauty to me and how special I was and then he would leave me. He said he did not lie to me but his actions were so inconsistent.
I rose up from his lap and just stared at him. I couldn't take my eyes from his and I felt the tear threatening to come. I know he hated it when I was sad but I was just so sad lately and no, I still had not found that light he wished for me to find. The light that was here in front of me was just so bright that I saw no other.
"Why do you speak those things to me and then stay away for so long?" I allowed him to take from my eyes the truth of my doubt. Yes, I doubted because no one had every told me the genuine truth. No one that I could remember. I had found that all others before him were liars...but something screamed that he was a feind. It was almost as if I wanted him to be a liar so I could find it before it found me, so I could fix me before I screwed up as I always did....so I could go away before I was rejected.
He sighed and I could see he was about to reprimand me again. "You know what I have to do, and as a matter of fact...I have to be going." He reached out and caressed my cheek smiling.
My shoulders dropped and I nodded. "Yes, of course." I dropped my head as well to hide my hurting.
Then Casper was gone...as quickly as he appeared.
I rose and called to Martisa. I wanted time with the child before I turned her. Casper's spell was woven tightly around my heart as was his reprimand. Intertwined within his sugary words were threats and portents. I knew that I had to take the child now or run with her. I tried so hard to mask my thoughts with putrid things, things that Casper enjoyed within the darkness of his mind. I scrambled toward the door with thoughts of Patricia. I called to the maid once more but got nothing in response.
I knew then, that Casper had her and he was gone.
I panicked and started to search fantically for his whereabouts. But just as quickly as he had soothed me into submission; he had grasped the child and was away with her.
"Hey, you're the best you know." He reached out to hug me within my mind...confusing and confounding my thoughts; and I allowed it as I always do. I hated the hold he had on me.
whenever he is gone, I think of all the things I want to say, all the strength that I will up and weild bravely. I think of all the angry accusations I want to throw at him to quell my hurting. But everytime he says hello, I just can't do it. And even as I try to wake from his reverie and attempt to clear my thoughts, I hear his voice in my ear, and his touch on the wind. He is just a man, a man like any other so how does he control me? The blood, silly girl, the blood....he is within you.
I lay with my head in his lap as he played with my hair. Casper smiled that wonderful smile he did and ran his hand across my forehead. His voice was like some silken material rubbing against itself and so I sighed at the softness of it. I didn't know what magic he used or if he did at all but I couldn't shake it and I hated my weakness. He spoke and at first I didn't hear a word. My mind had wandered to the point of his goodbye. It would be soon as all he did anymore was drop by to say hello. What was the point anyway?
"You are beautiful." he spoke in my ear and I smiled. The sugary sweetness of his words dripped into my ear and down into my soul. This is why I hated him sometimes. This is why my heart ached so. He would speak such beauty to me and how special I was and then he would leave me. He said he did not lie to me but his actions were so inconsistent.
I rose up from his lap and just stared at him. I couldn't take my eyes from his and I felt the tear threatening to come. I know he hated it when I was sad but I was just so sad lately and no, I still had not found that light he wished for me to find. The light that was here in front of me was just so bright that I saw no other.
"Why do you speak those things to me and then stay away for so long?" I allowed him to take from my eyes the truth of my doubt. Yes, I doubted because no one had every told me the genuine truth. No one that I could remember. I had found that all others before him were liars...but something screamed that he was a feind. It was almost as if I wanted him to be a liar so I could find it before it found me, so I could fix me before I screwed up as I always did....so I could go away before I was rejected.
He sighed and I could see he was about to reprimand me again. "You know what I have to do, and as a matter of fact...I have to be going." He reached out and caressed my cheek smiling.
My shoulders dropped and I nodded. "Yes, of course." I dropped my head as well to hide my hurting.
Then Casper was gone...as quickly as he appeared.
I rose and called to Martisa. I wanted time with the child before I turned her. Casper's spell was woven tightly around my heart as was his reprimand. Intertwined within his sugary words were threats and portents. I knew that I had to take the child now or run with her. I tried so hard to mask my thoughts with putrid things, things that Casper enjoyed within the darkness of his mind. I scrambled toward the door with thoughts of Patricia. I called to the maid once more but got nothing in response.
I knew then, that Casper had her and he was gone.
I panicked and started to search fantically for his whereabouts. But just as quickly as he had soothed me into submission; he had grasped the child and was away with her.
"Hey, you're the best you know." He reached out to hug me within my mind...confusing and confounding my thoughts; and I allowed it as I always do. I hated the hold he had on me.
whenever he is gone, I think of all the things I want to say, all the strength that I will up and weild bravely. I think of all the angry accusations I want to throw at him to quell my hurting. But everytime he says hello, I just can't do it. And even as I try to wake from his reverie and attempt to clear my thoughts, I hear his voice in my ear, and his touch on the wind. He is just a man, a man like any other so how does he control me? The blood, silly girl, the blood....he is within you.
A dream I once had...part 5
I woke up with that little girl lying on my chest. Reaching down I caressed her hair. Vampires did not dream. but visions of running through the forest looking over my shoulder in fear flashed in my head. I could feel the sun setting somewhere on the edge of my world. The roaring sound made my ears tickle.
"psst..Patricia, darling. It's time to get up. Night fall is here." I coaxed her with my hands and pushed the lid up from over us. Lamp light flooded into the coffin and roused the child. Her dirty face scrunched up and she began to cry. Her cries turned to sobs that racked her little body. I felt her sadness flow through me and invade my senses. Her blood sang as it pumped furiously through her veins. I gasped and tried to stop my teeth from tearing through my gums. "Arrgh!" I grabbed my mouth and stared into her red rimmed eyes. She sniffled and stopped crying.
"You wish to eat me don't you?" patricia's lip quivered as she spoke. Her face was covered in soot and her dress was torn. The little victum in her had gained some courage within the night.
I offered her solace with my eyes, using all my strength to suppress my hunger and true nature. My red hair feel into my face as I held open the large wooden lid. Patricia just sat and looked at me. "I do not wish to eat you at all. Come, let's get you sent off before Casper comes."
I moved us from the casket and shut the lid gently. The sound of wood slapping wood bellowed against my eardrum. I cringed. My undead life was a vast array of horrid loud noises it seemed. Nope,no getting used to this.
I filled my thoughts with baths and little girl's clean dresses as I called mentally to the maid, Martisa. Martisa was a french mulato who had been with us since childhood. She was one of Casper's favorite humans. Martisa could do things most humans could not and she kept the bad old vampire hating humans away from us during the day. Yes, she played a very important role. I heard her steps as she came close to my chamber. I turned to Patricia.
"Now, you go with Martisa and she will clean you up." I smiled at Patricia and patted her head. Martisa opened the door and motioned for the little girl in french. I eyed the maid and nodded.Martisa frowned at me before guiding the girl out the door. I hoped that hoodoo witch didn't harm the girl but I had to get her away from Casper.
I was unsure about my role in changing the girl. I was deeply in doubt by now but yet scared of Casper's intentions. What would i do? What excuse could i give him? Just I tried to hide my thoughts desperately under bundles of past occurances. i rapidly filled my mind with art, music literature...anything that would shroud my thoughts. I panicked.
"Hello Betty" I spun around to the sound of Casper's voice. He stood before me with obvious irritation threatening to turn into fury. I sensed he knew my thoughts as I tried even then to cover them.
"Hi Casper, I was just about to come to you." the lie was not convincing and he laughed.
"You are a silly silly girl. YOu cannot lie to me. You have not turned her nor do you have any intention of doing do." Casper crossed his arms over his chest. His long blue robe swished about his feet making my ears hurt. He eyed me. He was an animal waiting to pounce. Me heart beat raced.
"Casper..I neeed time. She is frightened. If I rush into..."
The slap stinged my face and I fell to the floor. My elbow struck the wood first and a thunder erupted in sound. my body fell hard and I grunted. The shock of Casper's hand brought my adrenaline to life. I could not hide my sudden anger.
"Oh...so you are angry huh?" The elder laughed heartily and cracked his knuckles. He hated me so and my undead life had always been such entertainment for him. HOw did he hold me here? I couldn't remember. Casper owned me and when I tried to remember why, there was nothing. My body responded to him as if I were a trained dog.
I wiped the blood from my face and looked up with contempt. "Why, Casper...why? I was the one who asked for her. Why do you care when I turn her?" I have no idea where the bravery came from but I went with it regardless.
"I own you, therefore, everything you own is mine as well." Casper smiled and held open both hands. "It really is that simple."
"psst..Patricia, darling. It's time to get up. Night fall is here." I coaxed her with my hands and pushed the lid up from over us. Lamp light flooded into the coffin and roused the child. Her dirty face scrunched up and she began to cry. Her cries turned to sobs that racked her little body. I felt her sadness flow through me and invade my senses. Her blood sang as it pumped furiously through her veins. I gasped and tried to stop my teeth from tearing through my gums. "Arrgh!" I grabbed my mouth and stared into her red rimmed eyes. She sniffled and stopped crying.
"You wish to eat me don't you?" patricia's lip quivered as she spoke. Her face was covered in soot and her dress was torn. The little victum in her had gained some courage within the night.
I offered her solace with my eyes, using all my strength to suppress my hunger and true nature. My red hair feel into my face as I held open the large wooden lid. Patricia just sat and looked at me. "I do not wish to eat you at all. Come, let's get you sent off before Casper comes."
I moved us from the casket and shut the lid gently. The sound of wood slapping wood bellowed against my eardrum. I cringed. My undead life was a vast array of horrid loud noises it seemed. Nope,no getting used to this.
I filled my thoughts with baths and little girl's clean dresses as I called mentally to the maid, Martisa. Martisa was a french mulato who had been with us since childhood. She was one of Casper's favorite humans. Martisa could do things most humans could not and she kept the bad old vampire hating humans away from us during the day. Yes, she played a very important role. I heard her steps as she came close to my chamber. I turned to Patricia.
"Now, you go with Martisa and she will clean you up." I smiled at Patricia and patted her head. Martisa opened the door and motioned for the little girl in french. I eyed the maid and nodded.Martisa frowned at me before guiding the girl out the door. I hoped that hoodoo witch didn't harm the girl but I had to get her away from Casper.
I was unsure about my role in changing the girl. I was deeply in doubt by now but yet scared of Casper's intentions. What would i do? What excuse could i give him? Just I tried to hide my thoughts desperately under bundles of past occurances. i rapidly filled my mind with art, music literature...anything that would shroud my thoughts. I panicked.
"Hello Betty" I spun around to the sound of Casper's voice. He stood before me with obvious irritation threatening to turn into fury. I sensed he knew my thoughts as I tried even then to cover them.
"Hi Casper, I was just about to come to you." the lie was not convincing and he laughed.
"You are a silly silly girl. YOu cannot lie to me. You have not turned her nor do you have any intention of doing do." Casper crossed his arms over his chest. His long blue robe swished about his feet making my ears hurt. He eyed me. He was an animal waiting to pounce. Me heart beat raced.
"Casper..I neeed time. She is frightened. If I rush into..."
The slap stinged my face and I fell to the floor. My elbow struck the wood first and a thunder erupted in sound. my body fell hard and I grunted. The shock of Casper's hand brought my adrenaline to life. I could not hide my sudden anger.
"Oh...so you are angry huh?" The elder laughed heartily and cracked his knuckles. He hated me so and my undead life had always been such entertainment for him. HOw did he hold me here? I couldn't remember. Casper owned me and when I tried to remember why, there was nothing. My body responded to him as if I were a trained dog.
I wiped the blood from my face and looked up with contempt. "Why, Casper...why? I was the one who asked for her. Why do you care when I turn her?" I have no idea where the bravery came from but I went with it regardless.
"I own you, therefore, everything you own is mine as well." Casper smiled and held open both hands. "It really is that simple."
A dream I once had...part 4
when she stopped crying, she spoke to me. she told me about her times with her brothers, times she chased butterflies and hid when her mother would call her. She felt like a part of me that I had lost long ago when I lost my boys. My hunger was all but gone as I watched her animated face tell story after story as dawn fast approached. I was enthralled by her humanity and I could not harm her. I didn't realise what this meant...but I couldn't harm her at all. Her heart was pure and something that spewed from her lips reminded me of summers long ago when I would run through the forests in search of my own meaning. Yes, I was a deep girl as this. I smiled as her eyes grew wide in amazement. Then she asked that question that I did not want to answer.
"Maam, what are you going to do to me?" She looked up at me and fear was there, fear of what she knew already.
I shook off the haze from the memories her stories produced in me. I starred forward for a moment and spoke. "What do you mean?"
She looked at me with the most innocent eyes and noone could consider hurting a child as this. No human that is.
"Do you wish to know the truth? Well, I guess, of course you do." I just looked at her a moment and i guess I appeared human to her because she smiled a genuine smile at me.
"I do...I want to know what you are supposed to do to me. Will you kill me, Maam?" She was so calm with her question and it floored me.
I wanted to run away from her. I did not want to explain to her what I had in mind before she entered this room. She would not understand the fact that I wanted her to replace my dead sons. NO, it is not pleasurable to a child to know they shall be turned into the eternally damned before sunrise. To live a life as a child was not a choice life for anyone. Maybe it didnt have to be this way. Maybe I could wait till she was older to do it. Maybe 18 or 20...yes, that made more...
"Maam,you are supposed to change me , arent you?" She spoke so softly and calmly that none would suspect she was afraid at all. But in my heart of stone, I knew she was scared. Her little heart hammered against her rib cage and filled my ears with a deafening sound.
I looked at her and I could not lie. NO, I would not lie..not this time and not ever again. "Yes patricia, I am supposed to turn you into a Vampire as I am." I spoke those words in a daze. I spoke as if my life depended that I tell the truth. I spoke these truths to her because I respected her so and she was brave. I owed her the truth....oh how I owed her something.
She looked down at her hands and frowned. "But I am scared Miss Betty. I don't know how to be a vampire." Her statement caught me off guard and I caught myself chuckling before I could contain it. I shifted on the coffin top and flung my red hair over my shoulder then titled my head in curiosity.
"I am not so sure as to what will happen. As for this dawning day; I must take cover. Casper is on his way and we must make an excuse for why you haven't been biten my dear." I stood and reached out with my hand. She looked up at me and took hold of my hand. The touch startled her but caused a curious look to pass over her face. she looked at my hand as if it were a strang lizard she had found crawling in the backyard. I found it amuzing.
Before we could leave the chamber; Casper came galavanting through the door whipping his cape from his shoulders. He stopped abruptly as he made eye contact with Patricia.
"What!? you have not changed her yet?" He hissed in anger then switched his gaze to me. His eyes bore into mine with a degrading dominance only Casper could muster. I was unsure of the circumstances but I stood tall in his presence.
"I ...will take care of it, casper." My voice wavered in fear.
He turned once more to me as he hung up his cape. His eyes told the truth of his merciless heart. "See to it that you do, Betty...or I will take care of her."
I gripped Patricia's hand and pulled her from the room. Down the hall and to the left I found my own quarters, my own coffin and my own space. As dawn quickly approached; I climbed into my coffin pulling the little brown haired child in on top of me. she sighed and feel asleep on my chest as my heart beat wildly in fear of Casper's threat. I held her close...refusing to lose another child.
"Maam, what are you going to do to me?" She looked up at me and fear was there, fear of what she knew already.
I shook off the haze from the memories her stories produced in me. I starred forward for a moment and spoke. "What do you mean?"
She looked at me with the most innocent eyes and noone could consider hurting a child as this. No human that is.
"Do you wish to know the truth? Well, I guess, of course you do." I just looked at her a moment and i guess I appeared human to her because she smiled a genuine smile at me.
"I do...I want to know what you are supposed to do to me. Will you kill me, Maam?" She was so calm with her question and it floored me.
I wanted to run away from her. I did not want to explain to her what I had in mind before she entered this room. She would not understand the fact that I wanted her to replace my dead sons. NO, it is not pleasurable to a child to know they shall be turned into the eternally damned before sunrise. To live a life as a child was not a choice life for anyone. Maybe it didnt have to be this way. Maybe I could wait till she was older to do it. Maybe 18 or 20...yes, that made more...
"Maam,you are supposed to change me , arent you?" She spoke so softly and calmly that none would suspect she was afraid at all. But in my heart of stone, I knew she was scared. Her little heart hammered against her rib cage and filled my ears with a deafening sound.
I looked at her and I could not lie. NO, I would not lie..not this time and not ever again. "Yes patricia, I am supposed to turn you into a Vampire as I am." I spoke those words in a daze. I spoke as if my life depended that I tell the truth. I spoke these truths to her because I respected her so and she was brave. I owed her the truth....oh how I owed her something.
She looked down at her hands and frowned. "But I am scared Miss Betty. I don't know how to be a vampire." Her statement caught me off guard and I caught myself chuckling before I could contain it. I shifted on the coffin top and flung my red hair over my shoulder then titled my head in curiosity.
"I am not so sure as to what will happen. As for this dawning day; I must take cover. Casper is on his way and we must make an excuse for why you haven't been biten my dear." I stood and reached out with my hand. She looked up at me and took hold of my hand. The touch startled her but caused a curious look to pass over her face. she looked at my hand as if it were a strang lizard she had found crawling in the backyard. I found it amuzing.
Before we could leave the chamber; Casper came galavanting through the door whipping his cape from his shoulders. He stopped abruptly as he made eye contact with Patricia.
"What!? you have not changed her yet?" He hissed in anger then switched his gaze to me. His eyes bore into mine with a degrading dominance only Casper could muster. I was unsure of the circumstances but I stood tall in his presence.
"I ...will take care of it, casper." My voice wavered in fear.
He turned once more to me as he hung up his cape. His eyes told the truth of his merciless heart. "See to it that you do, Betty...or I will take care of her."
I gripped Patricia's hand and pulled her from the room. Down the hall and to the left I found my own quarters, my own coffin and my own space. As dawn quickly approached; I climbed into my coffin pulling the little brown haired child in on top of me. she sighed and feel asleep on my chest as my heart beat wildly in fear of Casper's threat. I held her close...refusing to lose another child.
A dream I once had...part 3
She kicked and screamed as I drug her back into Casper's room. i slammed the door locking it. At the feel of a little bite in the crook of my arm; I turned toward the child. Her little teeth worked on my hard white skin trying desperately to break the flesh. Her determination made me smile momentarily. I pried her from me and held her out by her collar. She kicked violently and screamed for the 'mommy'.
My heart sank as I watched her fighting. A sick feeling spread through my stomach and so I sat her down and turned away. Oh, how Vampires wanted tears. Of all the things that were lost, the tears are what are missed the most. without the ability to cry, the loss of humanity was so much more real. I heaved a sigh and turned back toward the little girl. But, as I thought, she was gone again. Hiding it seemed.
"Hey, I won't hurt you...of course you have no reason to believe me. But I won't hurt you." My lies stung me...yes tore at me as I walked around the bedroom. I smelled her. All of a sudden her presence became known behind Casper's coffin. Her sniffles were so loud that I grimaced in irritation. "Please...stop that. It hurts my ears." I asked nicely of the little angel I was to kill tonight.
She whimpered in the corner and i could see chocolate brown tresses shaking above Casper's tacky sleeping box. I sighed. This was going to be a long process because i was not the type to grasp and attack. She was to be my daughter; she was not my prey. I could not show her violence as Casper would. I wanted to show her tenderness. So how in hell was I going to bite her?
"What is your name sweetheart?" I asked as I neared the shaking bundle of childhood flesh. "You can talk to me. Listen, I didn't ask him to do those things to your family. I only wanted a daughter." I felt the need to explain myself fore she hated me. This peirced my dead heart.
I stopped by the end of Casper's coffin and sat down on the top. I sat for a long time allowing the girls sobbing to tire down. She looked up from her crossed arms and eyed me hatefully. I smiled back, careful not to show my fangs. She looked confused as she surveyed the monster lady which sat before her. I chuckled at what she must have been thinking at the moment.
"My name is Betty. What is your name?" I tilted my head and offered my openess to her. I waited and waited but no reply. My heart sank but of course I didn't expect too much from a girl whose parents had been slaughtered by my leader. She should hate us. She should hate me.
"Patricia...Patricia ma'am." The little angel spoke shocking me from my reverie and back into Casper's room at the present. I felt a jolt of excitement pass through my inhuman body. I could hear it too and it irritated the holy shit out of me. I jumped yet held my composure.
"Oh precious...that is a lovely name," I paused before continuing and offered her a merciful look. "Can I tell you a story?"
She furrowed her brow and exhaled. "yes...I am scared...p...p..please tell me a story."
I smiled and scooted closer. "okay sweetie, I shall tell you my story. I shall tell you a story that I haven't told in a very long time. But, I feel that I owe you this because of what you have been through. I see how uncomfortable you are and I shall put myself where you are. I do not wish for you to have pain...so I will share pain with you. Do you understand?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Okay sweetie." I spoke and inhaled a long and tired breath.
"I had a family once, yes i did. My husband was a hunter and I was a mother of two beautiful boys...twins. I cooked for them, took care of them and occasionally, we took nature walks and i would teach them things about the forest. Their father would meet us in a clearing. It was our favorite spot to meet and have a nice lunch together. Yes, I remember." I took a deep breath and continued.
"One day, a rather dark day indeed... FRanklin, that was my husband's name, he didn't show up at our meeting place as he was supposed to and of course we waited for him. We waited a very long time for him." I stared off into the distance then tentatively continued. "It was getting dark when we decided to give up and go home. I told the boys, who were 5, that maybe their father had killed something that was keeping him away so long and that there was probably a good reason. As I spoke to them, my dear...I didn't believe it. I hid my worry as I began that long trek home. But something happened. The boys heard it before I did. They pulled at my dress and shouted for me to look at papa."
I dropped my head but tears never fell...they couldn't. I could feel the little girl's eyes on me as I tried to gather composure again. I sobbed dry sobs that meant nothing at all. Then, as I hefted my shoulders back and lifted my head; I continued.
"He was different from a distance. I thought he was sick. I thought he had caught a virus or something being out in the woods all the time. I didn't know what had happened to him. As he staggered toward me, I saw two other men come from behind him and move closer to me and the boys." I stopped.
Patricia, the little human angel raised up and sat upon the coffin lid. Her big blue eyes questioned me. "Maam...what happened?" she asked truly curious about my story.
I did not lie to her then and there. I could not. "I do not know what happened exactly. I just remember waking up in a damp room...very very hungry. In the corner I saw my husband, Franklin waking as I was from some groggy dream it seemed. He looked so pale and something was different about him...something I know now...but..."
"Yes, go on." She coaxed with a new found courage that surprised me. I suddenly gained an admiration for the little girl as she sat in awe before me. So I went on.
"It was me and my husband staring at each other. I could read his thoughts...they were horrible, greusome, carnal and violent. I know now that my own thoughts must have been the same. At first I was very confused at our situation and our confinement as it seemed we were confined to that room. But, softly it started and grew louder. As I starred at Franklin on all fours as I was...I realized what the sound was. The whimpers came from the dark corner to our right. whimpers growing louder, invading our minds. As the whimpers grew louder, it triggered our hunger. I heard his stomach growl as did mine. I was so horrified. I remember babbling and mumbling as the whimpers grew louder. I remember turning toward the sound with Franklin. Moving together toward whatever it was that called to us."
I stopped once more and starred at Patricia, my soon to be victumized daughter and sighed. "I cant...I cant do this." I dropped my head and brought my hands to my face.
I felt her warm hands upon my arms as I dry sobbed into my hands. Her blood enthralled me, tempted me and drove me mad in one instance. I was only held at bay by my sorrow. Her courage impressed me so and in ways comforted me.
"Miss Betty, what happened?" she asked innocently.
I swallowed hard and looked back up at the little girl. She drew back horrified and shook but she never left the coffin top.
"Ok...I owe this to you. My sorrow is yours." I exhaled once more and then began again.
In the corner was our twins, David and Darrell. They...they ...damnit...they had been stripped naked and they were crying.
I stopped and shook my head looking toward patricia. I saw the fear in her eyes as my eyes dilated quickly in memory.
"What happened in those next moments were beyond anything your little mind could understand, Patricia. Are you sure you want to know what I really am?"
"Yes, maam." she looked so brave in her little dress all stained and torn. I adored her already.
We were made to slaughter our own children while one of the elders watched on. We are vampires, unless you haven't figured out by now.
This did not shock her seeing as though she had witnessed the destruction of her village and death of her whole family. A lone tear trailed down her cheek and she smiled sadly. Without warning, she shot forward and wrapped her little arms around me. I was so surprised that I hissed in response.
Her body wracked in sobs as she cried her little heart out. She had no fear of me now and it felt strange.
I lay my hand on her beautiful brown hair and tried to force the memories away again.
My heart sank as I watched her fighting. A sick feeling spread through my stomach and so I sat her down and turned away. Oh, how Vampires wanted tears. Of all the things that were lost, the tears are what are missed the most. without the ability to cry, the loss of humanity was so much more real. I heaved a sigh and turned back toward the little girl. But, as I thought, she was gone again. Hiding it seemed.
"Hey, I won't hurt you...of course you have no reason to believe me. But I won't hurt you." My lies stung me...yes tore at me as I walked around the bedroom. I smelled her. All of a sudden her presence became known behind Casper's coffin. Her sniffles were so loud that I grimaced in irritation. "Please...stop that. It hurts my ears." I asked nicely of the little angel I was to kill tonight.
She whimpered in the corner and i could see chocolate brown tresses shaking above Casper's tacky sleeping box. I sighed. This was going to be a long process because i was not the type to grasp and attack. She was to be my daughter; she was not my prey. I could not show her violence as Casper would. I wanted to show her tenderness. So how in hell was I going to bite her?
"What is your name sweetheart?" I asked as I neared the shaking bundle of childhood flesh. "You can talk to me. Listen, I didn't ask him to do those things to your family. I only wanted a daughter." I felt the need to explain myself fore she hated me. This peirced my dead heart.
I stopped by the end of Casper's coffin and sat down on the top. I sat for a long time allowing the girls sobbing to tire down. She looked up from her crossed arms and eyed me hatefully. I smiled back, careful not to show my fangs. She looked confused as she surveyed the monster lady which sat before her. I chuckled at what she must have been thinking at the moment.
"My name is Betty. What is your name?" I tilted my head and offered my openess to her. I waited and waited but no reply. My heart sank but of course I didn't expect too much from a girl whose parents had been slaughtered by my leader. She should hate us. She should hate me.
"Patricia...Patricia ma'am." The little angel spoke shocking me from my reverie and back into Casper's room at the present. I felt a jolt of excitement pass through my inhuman body. I could hear it too and it irritated the holy shit out of me. I jumped yet held my composure.
"Oh precious...that is a lovely name," I paused before continuing and offered her a merciful look. "Can I tell you a story?"
She furrowed her brow and exhaled. "yes...I am scared...p...p..please tell me a story."
I smiled and scooted closer. "okay sweetie, I shall tell you my story. I shall tell you a story that I haven't told in a very long time. But, I feel that I owe you this because of what you have been through. I see how uncomfortable you are and I shall put myself where you are. I do not wish for you to have pain...so I will share pain with you. Do you understand?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Okay sweetie." I spoke and inhaled a long and tired breath.
"I had a family once, yes i did. My husband was a hunter and I was a mother of two beautiful boys...twins. I cooked for them, took care of them and occasionally, we took nature walks and i would teach them things about the forest. Their father would meet us in a clearing. It was our favorite spot to meet and have a nice lunch together. Yes, I remember." I took a deep breath and continued.
"One day, a rather dark day indeed... FRanklin, that was my husband's name, he didn't show up at our meeting place as he was supposed to and of course we waited for him. We waited a very long time for him." I stared off into the distance then tentatively continued. "It was getting dark when we decided to give up and go home. I told the boys, who were 5, that maybe their father had killed something that was keeping him away so long and that there was probably a good reason. As I spoke to them, my dear...I didn't believe it. I hid my worry as I began that long trek home. But something happened. The boys heard it before I did. They pulled at my dress and shouted for me to look at papa."
I dropped my head but tears never fell...they couldn't. I could feel the little girl's eyes on me as I tried to gather composure again. I sobbed dry sobs that meant nothing at all. Then, as I hefted my shoulders back and lifted my head; I continued.
"He was different from a distance. I thought he was sick. I thought he had caught a virus or something being out in the woods all the time. I didn't know what had happened to him. As he staggered toward me, I saw two other men come from behind him and move closer to me and the boys." I stopped.
Patricia, the little human angel raised up and sat upon the coffin lid. Her big blue eyes questioned me. "Maam...what happened?" she asked truly curious about my story.
I did not lie to her then and there. I could not. "I do not know what happened exactly. I just remember waking up in a damp room...very very hungry. In the corner I saw my husband, Franklin waking as I was from some groggy dream it seemed. He looked so pale and something was different about him...something I know now...but..."
"Yes, go on." She coaxed with a new found courage that surprised me. I suddenly gained an admiration for the little girl as she sat in awe before me. So I went on.
"It was me and my husband staring at each other. I could read his thoughts...they were horrible, greusome, carnal and violent. I know now that my own thoughts must have been the same. At first I was very confused at our situation and our confinement as it seemed we were confined to that room. But, softly it started and grew louder. As I starred at Franklin on all fours as I was...I realized what the sound was. The whimpers came from the dark corner to our right. whimpers growing louder, invading our minds. As the whimpers grew louder, it triggered our hunger. I heard his stomach growl as did mine. I was so horrified. I remember babbling and mumbling as the whimpers grew louder. I remember turning toward the sound with Franklin. Moving together toward whatever it was that called to us."
I stopped once more and starred at Patricia, my soon to be victumized daughter and sighed. "I cant...I cant do this." I dropped my head and brought my hands to my face.
I felt her warm hands upon my arms as I dry sobbed into my hands. Her blood enthralled me, tempted me and drove me mad in one instance. I was only held at bay by my sorrow. Her courage impressed me so and in ways comforted me.
"Miss Betty, what happened?" she asked innocently.
I swallowed hard and looked back up at the little girl. She drew back horrified and shook but she never left the coffin top.
"Ok...I owe this to you. My sorrow is yours." I exhaled once more and then began again.
In the corner was our twins, David and Darrell. They...they ...damnit...they had been stripped naked and they were crying.
I stopped and shook my head looking toward patricia. I saw the fear in her eyes as my eyes dilated quickly in memory.
"What happened in those next moments were beyond anything your little mind could understand, Patricia. Are you sure you want to know what I really am?"
"Yes, maam." she looked so brave in her little dress all stained and torn. I adored her already.
We were made to slaughter our own children while one of the elders watched on. We are vampires, unless you haven't figured out by now.
This did not shock her seeing as though she had witnessed the destruction of her village and death of her whole family. A lone tear trailed down her cheek and she smiled sadly. Without warning, she shot forward and wrapped her little arms around me. I was so surprised that I hissed in response.
Her body wracked in sobs as she cried her little heart out. She had no fear of me now and it felt strange.
I lay my hand on her beautiful brown hair and tried to force the memories away again.
A dream i once had...part 2
I was so nervous waiting for her. I paced back and forth in Casper's bedroom. My chinese Laundry heels thumped impatiently on the crimson plush carpet--almost unnerving me. I wrung my hands together and grimaced at the way my silk dress rasperd against my thighs. It was crimson red as well, perfectly matching Casper's floor. I felt my dry dead heart pounding in my chest and brought my hand up to still it. The v-neck of my dress offered access to cold flesh on flesh and the sensation shocked me. I gasped and then continued to pace. God, why were things so intense--the voices, the sounds, the sensations. I don't think I will ever be used to life as death as life again. This existence never failed to amaze me. I stopped abruptly in front of Casper's vanity and stared at the pale girl in the glass. I giggled and put my hand over my mouth. My mind raced to all the silly little myths about reflections and mirrors and it made me chuckle a little relieving tension. Raising one eyebrow, I took my hand down from my mouth and dug deeply into my purse. My hand found what it was looking for and brought the object before my eyes.
"Ahh..crimson." I removed the cap from the tube of lipstick and twisted the sides watching the thick red creamy stick move up slowly. My mouth had dropped open in response to the loud sliding sound that the lipstick made as if moved upwards. I giggled again. PUtting my hands on my lips ;I applied the lipstick and replaced it into my purse. "Oh you Vampiress, you." I raised my eyebrow and began to pose in the mirror, this way and that. Then stopped staring at myself. A sadness swept over me momentarily as pictures of dying children flashed before me. I gasped. No matter how many decades passed; I could not forget the children. Oh, the children. My lips trembled.
"Are you alright?" Casper appeared beside me and stared into the mirror as well. He was dressed in a velvet jacket and dark slacks. His raspy brown hair was pulled back from his face and his eyes were peircing and blue as blue could be. He had fed already, thank god. when he was hungry , he was so pissy.
"I ...I am fine." I stammered. "I was waiting for you to return."
Casper smiled and ran a hand over my long red hair. His fingers momentarily tangled in the waves down the back of my tresses. I furrowed my brow and faked an OUCH!
"I have her."
I inhaled sharply and just stared at his reflection. I didn't know how to feel. Visions of recieving babies in the bedroom with the wet nurse flashed before me. Holding a child that i did not know how to love and understanding that it was my duty to love him. I could remember it as if it were yesterday. I trembled. "Oh, Casper...do you jest me?"
"come...she is just outside the room." He removed his hand from my hair and took me by my wrist. He pulled gently.
As we moved toward the doorway, time crept ever so slowly. Of course it does; as with anything you want. I grasped my purse tightly and moved with Casper. I couldn't feel my legs at all. The numbness spread upward as I neared the door.
Casper smiled as he turned the knob and pulled open the door. I looked from him to the open hallway with was before me now.
she stood there. She was no more than 7 years old, dark brown hair and rosey cheeks. She had been crying, as her skin was flushed and her warmth seemed to radiate from her.
"Oh CAsper, she is beautiful." I turned to smile and flashed my fangs briefly. "Is she really mine?"
Casper grinned deviously and spoke in a hushed tone. "Yes, my dear, yes...but hurry...she is very upset. I killed her whole family."
The little girl trembled and began to sob uncontrollably. Her little shoulders shook.
I had no time to conceal the horror in my face. I know he saw it because he frowned and shook his head at me. I never asked for this...not like this."But...okay Casper...okay. I will take care of it. But I want to be alone with her first" I whispered.
Casper rolled his eyes and released my wrist. "Ok, but don't make a mess. It is a simple job. And she is your responsibility ...forever."
I looked him in the eye once more before he turned to go. I didn't see compassion there, nor did I see love. I couldn't quite make out exactly what I saw but it frightened me. Casper had a plan and somehow I felt that all this was a part of it. Maybe, who knows.
Looking down at the precious little girl; I smiled. Her frightened eyes caught mine and she gasped. As I reached out for her, she turned and ran.
"Ahh..crimson." I removed the cap from the tube of lipstick and twisted the sides watching the thick red creamy stick move up slowly. My mouth had dropped open in response to the loud sliding sound that the lipstick made as if moved upwards. I giggled again. PUtting my hands on my lips ;I applied the lipstick and replaced it into my purse. "Oh you Vampiress, you." I raised my eyebrow and began to pose in the mirror, this way and that. Then stopped staring at myself. A sadness swept over me momentarily as pictures of dying children flashed before me. I gasped. No matter how many decades passed; I could not forget the children. Oh, the children. My lips trembled.
"Are you alright?" Casper appeared beside me and stared into the mirror as well. He was dressed in a velvet jacket and dark slacks. His raspy brown hair was pulled back from his face and his eyes were peircing and blue as blue could be. He had fed already, thank god. when he was hungry , he was so pissy.
"I ...I am fine." I stammered. "I was waiting for you to return."
Casper smiled and ran a hand over my long red hair. His fingers momentarily tangled in the waves down the back of my tresses. I furrowed my brow and faked an OUCH!
"I have her."
I inhaled sharply and just stared at his reflection. I didn't know how to feel. Visions of recieving babies in the bedroom with the wet nurse flashed before me. Holding a child that i did not know how to love and understanding that it was my duty to love him. I could remember it as if it were yesterday. I trembled. "Oh, Casper...do you jest me?"
"come...she is just outside the room." He removed his hand from my hair and took me by my wrist. He pulled gently.
As we moved toward the doorway, time crept ever so slowly. Of course it does; as with anything you want. I grasped my purse tightly and moved with Casper. I couldn't feel my legs at all. The numbness spread upward as I neared the door.
Casper smiled as he turned the knob and pulled open the door. I looked from him to the open hallway with was before me now.
she stood there. She was no more than 7 years old, dark brown hair and rosey cheeks. She had been crying, as her skin was flushed and her warmth seemed to radiate from her.
"Oh CAsper, she is beautiful." I turned to smile and flashed my fangs briefly. "Is she really mine?"
Casper grinned deviously and spoke in a hushed tone. "Yes, my dear, yes...but hurry...she is very upset. I killed her whole family."
The little girl trembled and began to sob uncontrollably. Her little shoulders shook.
I had no time to conceal the horror in my face. I know he saw it because he frowned and shook his head at me. I never asked for this...not like this."But...okay Casper...okay. I will take care of it. But I want to be alone with her first" I whispered.
Casper rolled his eyes and released my wrist. "Ok, but don't make a mess. It is a simple job. And she is your responsibility ...forever."
I looked him in the eye once more before he turned to go. I didn't see compassion there, nor did I see love. I couldn't quite make out exactly what I saw but it frightened me. Casper had a plan and somehow I felt that all this was a part of it. Maybe, who knows.
Looking down at the precious little girl; I smiled. Her frightened eyes caught mine and she gasped. As I reached out for her, she turned and ran.
A dream I once had....Part 1
Of course,I didn't really like Casper, but father said he saved us. I had this little song that played in my head when he spoke to groups as he did now and so he thought I listened because I smiled the whole time. He was our ruler, leader or whatever you might call him. After father was killed, Casper became the leader of our little group. Yes, he had the authority around here. But he was dreadful when it came to humanity. I mean he had no leadership skills at all but yet he threw his weight around when punishment was due, over exaggerating some little midemeanor when more important things should be done. And Casper saw women as being on a lower level than the males. He saw us as the human men saw us. Father was not like that.
"Betty! May I have you attention please,dear?" Casper hissed at me and spoke in a hushed tone to gather respect.
I straightened up and swallowed that large lump which suddenly formed in my throat. I bit my lips and suppressed the smile that was about to erupt. "Yes sir."
Casper tilted his head and his shoulder length brown hair brushed his collar making a sound most couldn't hear. But I heard it and it was loud. I cringed from the dry rasping it made. "I expect all of you," he waved his hand across the air, "I expect you to understand the consequences of your actions among the living." casper dropped his head and cracked his knuckles.
My hand shot up before I could think twice about 'my actions'..hehe. "Uh..Mr. Delvin, can I ask you a question?" I had a curious rebellious nature that came out at the most unopportune times.
He rolled his eyes and frowned. "Of course, Betty, you can always ask a question, any question of me...as you always seem to do. God knows how you come up with that drivel."
I drop my hand and gulp knowing he will get very angry any minute now when I ask my question. I have asked him for this for decades since father died and yet his promises are empty. I long for this and he knows I do, but he plays with me...and sometimes that is why i hate him. "Casper, can I have it now?"
At the words that were way too familiar to his undead ears; Casper grimaced and ground his teeth. His fists clenched ever so much more tightly as his dry brown hair rasped against his collar once more. I could hear him hate me. I could hear him contemplate on how he would dispose of me. My heart began to pound against my dry rib bones. I knew it was just not the time for this. But I wanted it damnit. I had suffered enough for 200 years and I deserved to have it. He promised...oh god, he promised and...
He opened his fists and looked back up at me. His pupils were dilated and a single line on red ran down his lips onto his chin. His fang retreated back into his gums and he smiled. "You know....Betty, I think I can actually arange that in the next couple of weeks. I have a situation brewing in the sister village."
Amazement gripped me as I made eye contact with Casper. "Really?"
"Yes my dear, really." Casper smiled and exhaled. "Now, do you think you can pay attention to me for a moment?"
My hope rose up and was swollen in my chest. I felt so much hope. I still couldn't listen to his rubbish. I was going to finally get her. A child of my own and better yet a little girl. Oh, the possibilities, oh..I was going to be a mother again. After all these decades of lonliness and dispair...I would finally have a little girl.
As Casper talked, all I could hear were the little squeals and screams of my little girl and I plunged my fangs into her neck...giving her to me ...forever.
I sighed and pretended to listen to my makers babble.
I know father wouldn't approve of my wishes but I wanted a family...even now as my dry bones ached..i wanted a family more than anything.
"Betty! May I have you attention please,dear?" Casper hissed at me and spoke in a hushed tone to gather respect.
I straightened up and swallowed that large lump which suddenly formed in my throat. I bit my lips and suppressed the smile that was about to erupt. "Yes sir."
Casper tilted his head and his shoulder length brown hair brushed his collar making a sound most couldn't hear. But I heard it and it was loud. I cringed from the dry rasping it made. "I expect all of you," he waved his hand across the air, "I expect you to understand the consequences of your actions among the living." casper dropped his head and cracked his knuckles.
My hand shot up before I could think twice about 'my actions'..hehe. "Uh..Mr. Delvin, can I ask you a question?" I had a curious rebellious nature that came out at the most unopportune times.
He rolled his eyes and frowned. "Of course, Betty, you can always ask a question, any question of me...as you always seem to do. God knows how you come up with that drivel."
I drop my hand and gulp knowing he will get very angry any minute now when I ask my question. I have asked him for this for decades since father died and yet his promises are empty. I long for this and he knows I do, but he plays with me...and sometimes that is why i hate him. "Casper, can I have it now?"
At the words that were way too familiar to his undead ears; Casper grimaced and ground his teeth. His fists clenched ever so much more tightly as his dry brown hair rasped against his collar once more. I could hear him hate me. I could hear him contemplate on how he would dispose of me. My heart began to pound against my dry rib bones. I knew it was just not the time for this. But I wanted it damnit. I had suffered enough for 200 years and I deserved to have it. He promised...oh god, he promised and...
He opened his fists and looked back up at me. His pupils were dilated and a single line on red ran down his lips onto his chin. His fang retreated back into his gums and he smiled. "You know....Betty, I think I can actually arange that in the next couple of weeks. I have a situation brewing in the sister village."
Amazement gripped me as I made eye contact with Casper. "Really?"
"Yes my dear, really." Casper smiled and exhaled. "Now, do you think you can pay attention to me for a moment?"
My hope rose up and was swollen in my chest. I felt so much hope. I still couldn't listen to his rubbish. I was going to finally get her. A child of my own and better yet a little girl. Oh, the possibilities, oh..I was going to be a mother again. After all these decades of lonliness and dispair...I would finally have a little girl.
As Casper talked, all I could hear were the little squeals and screams of my little girl and I plunged my fangs into her neck...giving her to me ...forever.
I sighed and pretended to listen to my makers babble.
I know father wouldn't approve of my wishes but I wanted a family...even now as my dry bones ached..i wanted a family more than anything.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Tika Tika
What is love, really? Tika smiled and touched her finger to her lips. she pondered the question as much as she could. After these few days, Tika would have no room to think of love. Although she was young, Tika's wandering innocence would soon be gone.
Tika sat in the sand writing words of wisdom that she had heard from her mother-Words of blessing and fertility. The moon overhead watched her progression from girl to woman in the course of a couple of days. Tika shifted uncomfortably and remembered why she was here. The other girls were fast asleep in the menstrual hut, curled up together for comfort and union. Tika wasn't sure that she belonged with them. She felt different from the other dancers. when the girls circled the plaze in gyrating trembling bodies, Tika was always sneaking away into the forest to dance alone. Under the eyes of her friends the stars, Tika would move gracefully until she reached a state of euphoria and simplicity. She believed that at that moment in her life, Tika could almost touch the one. Her heart burst as she teetered on teh edge of nothing and fell over for just those few seconds. Even though it was not long, Tika could feel the truth of everything. Then, when the air of her surroundings brought her back into her own eyes, Tika would cry to return to the other place. She could never understand why she had to come back from the vision. After her dance was over, Tika would fall asleep under the pines and dream. There, Raven would come and make her laugh. As the sun rose, Wolf would shake her from her dream and remind her to go be the daughter of her mother once more. Tika would scowl at wolf and trudge back to the village with leaves in her hair. Mother would shake her head and shove a bowl of rabbit stew under Tika's nose. After her meal, Tika's mother would send her off to pick berries and herbs. It wasnt until her curse came that Tika's mother started to act different. Her mother was now stern and withdrawn from Tika. Her only concern was to get Tika out of her hut and into patek's household.
Tika's sadness welled up inside her and she leaned against the pole of the hut. Her breath came curling out and tickled the end of her nose. Her finger drew a long curving line that circled itself around and around-the spiral of life. Tika had watched her mother create this symbol time and again but had no real idea what it meant. Her finger pulled trails through the sand making the spiral come to life. Then with the next symbol, Tika pulled two lines downward-parallels. She had the strangest urge to write an animal's name and so she wrote the name of wolf upon the ground.
She held her breath and looked at what she had created. It was still a mystery. Tika read her writing aloud to herself.
"The great spiral of life, the river, the wolf."
Tika frowned and tilted her head.
"Now what does that mean?" Tika bit her lip and felt the curse causing her stomach to knot up and contract. Tika groaned and chewed another piece of horsetail.
The moon grew brighter as well as the stars. All around the little camp, wolf and raven watched from their hiding places. A game, a gamble...this is what life was to the twins. Light and dark would always war with each other but it was up to the people to keep the unity and balance among them. There was a girl who held the secrets to this unity. She was brought to earth by birds and promised that her wings would be returned to her when she first found her love and mate. Tika held the dreams and they came when the spirit of night fell upon her. Tika knew not of her gifts of prophesy and healing. She was meerly a girl, a girl who had already been given to the young warrior, Patek. Tika wasn't in love with Patek, and so she would never see her wings returned to her.
Tika looked at mother moon and smiled. "I want to return to you mother, for with you only,can I fly free. Raven laughs at me and wolf is too stern. I have no place among the people nor among the spirits...take me home."
The other girls stirred in the hut and groaned. Tika jumped in surprise as Neha snatched back the hide and gave her a mean look. Neha was very familiar with the curse and felt that Tika must be taken care of on her first stay in the hut. The older girl stared at Tika and motioned for her to return to the hut. Other girls rose from their mats and rubbed their eyes. Tika exhaled and rolled her eyes. With a swipe of her little brown hand, she erased all meaning of the wolf, the river and the spiral of life. As she turned to look at Neha once more, Tika felt a spirit waver before her and shake time itself. A breeze fluttered the back of her head and pulled her long auburn hair out in both directions. Tika turned back to the ground and saw the spirit's message.
"U de li da U tse li dv."
..and drawn upon the earth there, was the contenance of Raven... wings outspread.
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