Sunday, February 17, 2013

A dream I once had...part 12

My eyes fluttered open to darkness. I smelled the earth surrounding me mixed with his scent. Then the scent of various insects invaded my nostrils as well. I was alone. Panic took over my senses making me wiggle and push out with my hands. Dirt was everywhere. Rich, moist dirt surrounded my body and I remembered where I was.
"Joseph?" My breathing grew fast and ragged. I was weak, my hands scrambled and scratched against the dirt wall and my feet kicked forward to no avail. Joseph was gone, that weird vampire had trapped me here. I was too weak to pull free but  awake enough to enjoy my madness in the dark.
"FUCK!!!" I began to cry and grunt. My lips began to shiver as I clawed the earth and kicked against the dirt wall. As I inched backwards, my back scraped the wall. I was cold...lack of blood...then I remembered the rest. "You bastard."
As I felt the phantom presence of his fangs in my neck, I growled. "FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! You tricked me, you blood sucking asshole!"
The earth gave way and I felt myself inch further backward. I felt air upon my naked feet and stopped. I smiled and pushed harder. "Oh wow, you really stopped me, didn't you dumbass. Stupid arrogant fucker!" I laughed maniacally and heard my dress rip. Then as I kicked against the wall again, the rip blasted my ear even louder. I shivered from the noise.
Before I tried the moist earth once more, I turned my claws upward and dug into the wet earth. One pull brought me into the air up to my knees. I pressed my feet against the outside wall of the burrow and pushed  completely free. I landed in the mud with a wet plop. I was disgusting and sticky. I stood for a moment then fell back into the slush. My legs were weak and my head spun. It was plenty dark and fairly quiet. All but the distant coyote, was hushed in the night. I exhaled and grabbed a root. In one heaving grunt, I stood unsteady and surveyed my surroundings. My knees shook violently and my vision wavered. I had to feed or I would never leave this area. I suddenly felt hurt by Joseph's betrayal. I hadn't felt this kind of pain in decades. I had took off the mask, let down my guard...yes, for JOseph, there was a big gaping hole in my wall of self protection. He left me here. I could smell him all over me.
In the corner of my eye, I saw it, a large bird. The beast squaked and screamed tangled in the briars. A gift, it seemed but from who. God had no mercy on me. I moved closer to the animal and dropped to all fours. Crawling through the mud, I thought about Joseph. where was he? Why did he leave me here? I had no clue, I searched with my mind but nothing. It was as if he never existed. But I knew better. I couldn't stop taking in his lingering scent. I moved closer to the struggling bird and it turned toward me. Its squaking grew louder and it pulled with new strength. It almost pulled free but my hands reached it before its will could save it.
As I broke its neck and began to drink, I plopped back down in the mud. I fed as my heart continued to hurt.The pain grew and grew. It was a strange feeling, a strong sense of longing and lonliness. A lovesick sensation that only humans write about in novels. I felt this and it was strong. It even overwhelmed my hatred for him. But there were other emotions which swirled in  my head. Never before had I felt content with the knowledge of something greater than myself. Something stronger than my will. The harder I tried to hate him for leaving me here, the more I desired his presence and the more I admired his strength. "Asshole."
When I was strong enough to stand, I resumed my journey onward...masking my thoughts, becoming nothing,just like Joseph told me to do.
The only proof of his existence was his smell lingering on my dress. I gripped it close and it comforted me. I secretly hoped to find him before his scent wore off. I wanted to touch him and bury my face against his chest. I wanted more than anything to hear his undead heartbeat and feel his arms protecting me. It seemed I couldn't clear my thoughts for more than 5  minutes. No wonder he left me here, I was impossibly obsessed.

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