Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The faeries dispicable journal entry 1

The one who speaks to you is Spirit. I am she and she is me; what secrets she hides I reveal with my touch but sadly you cannot comprehend it all.Those stories you have heard are entertaining and realistic sometimes but they hold no truth in the larger scheme of things. No, I am not instantly killed by the singing scorching rays of the sun and no I will not hide from the cross. My life is complicated and as varied as yours. I have weaknesses much like your own.
I want to be like you are, to tell the truth. These heightened emotions and abilities are rather a burden. My tears run scalding down my cheeks as you say to me the words I do not want to here. I cannot bewitch you, nor can I charm simply because I love you..and I do not choose to. Yes, I hear you thinking as your bones crack behind your ears. You are clenching your jaw out of irritation and I know you are disapointed in me. Dear sir, I only wish to please you. I only wish to be as simple as any girl but life has dealt me this card.

And you would laugh at me now and tell me how cute I am. You would feel for me to a certain extent but not sacrificing your own comfort in the process. You are here with me when it is convenient for you then leave me with my demons otherwise. I know that I sound weak. I know how human and frail I am in your eyes. But, understand the truth that is before you. I am not as you are. I am something which you would never desire to greet in the shadows by the roadside. If I didn't love you, your soul would be another trinket in my bag. But I brag not, nor do I play pretend. I feel the time is near that I must go. My gums itch and I feel the tips of my canines ripping and tearing from new growth. I hunger. Why did you leave me with my demons, you know how they taunt me so.

Every night I lick my own blood from my lips and remember the nights you told me I was special. Yes, I guess I am in a way. You know that I need you. I need you here to chase away the darkness with your light again. i cannot do this alone. It tugs me and pulls me back in with talons of shame and retribution. It calls to me and whispers that you are a liar. It says you will only take take take and give to me my damnation; but just a little slower. The demon says you will feed me the medicine with the sugar until I am drunk on its toxicity. Then you will run me through with my own blade. I do not exist. I am like the vapor or the mist you thought you saw from the corner of your eye. Only fleetingly I come to your mind in times of desire. And you do desire the mysterious things of nature, do you not?

*Laughs heartily and flutters red wings.*

I frown as another night passes without you. I grudgingly go into the night faced with my torment and legacy. I will feast and I will not try to stop my hunger. There will be no wolf to guide me back to humanity and there will be no tasty pastries to tantalize my tongue. Tonight I feast again on the blood of your kind and regret it not.

Your ropes do not hold me back this night from my hell. Your light is absent.

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