so be it. :)

I left it all behind; just as simple as that, I sat it down and walked away.

 In the midst of it, I was in love; it was no love that had ever been fathomed. Unfortunately, It was  like a faucet. I turned the feeling off and on like it was nothing, just a tap. I walked from the room and turned the light off. Oh, I offered a goodnight, a farewell; but my heart resorted to beat on its own now, so I needed no more pain, I welcomed it not. I drove the spike so deeply into the heart that I felt it burst like jelly filled gum.

 I hear him sigh and his eyes strove to look away; but he didn’t. He held my gaze and desperately tried to hide the fact that he was not sure. I watched him, calculated his next move; so I lay back down on his chest. I heard his heart go “tam tam…tam tam”, and I smiled.

“I know that I surely love you; because love makes all things beautiful.”

He smiled, pushed me up to look into my face. He spoke softly “yeah? How’s that?”

I lay back  down , my lips grazing his ear; I ventured to speak again. “yeah, because even though you are an asshole, I still love you and I always will.”

It all changed then, I felt it deeply as his eyes found mine. I knew that my truth had no place in his envisioned idea of what he thought we were supposed to be. I could not be a pawn in his game. I watched his eyes with mine carefully navigating, moving along the surface of that place. I smiled, for I knew that it was time.

I felt every crumbling piece as it fell to the floor. I did feel sadness as well; a great flooding in on my heart and a mass confusion in the brain, but it would be done. I had rehearsed this scene so many times before, driven the knife in over and over with fervor. I knew the routine and so I smiled.

I didn’t want the play to end and so I said my lines, as timid as I might have been; and I closed the book.

I watched him walk away and stood alone with me.