Monday, March 25, 2013

This is the end, little sister.

You were my best friend. Through childhood and throughout adulthood until they took you. I really never knew the whole story about what happened. Nathan and I researched the area; all the folklore and legends. Many times, we watched you as you roamed the city streets. Of course, I am sure you knew we followed and I still do not know why you did not take him. I just assume you would not kill me because somewhere in that cold dead heart...you still loved me. There were mysteries about you that were in keeping with all the mysteries about you when you were little...little sister.

I still remember when you got pregnant in high school and decided to get an abortion. I never told our parents about that incident because I trusted your judgement. You intellect had been so inspiring and interesting. You empathy meter ran quite low at times but I always coughed it up to be because you were abused as a child. I couldn't stand to see you hurt and yet you brushed it away as being silly in my part.

I even recall the time you went into a rage at the funeral home when cousins would take pictures of the dead. You thought it was disrespectful of the dead while they were sleeping. I tried to hide my laughter as you went head to head with our aunt on the subject of funeral home paparazzis. It was just simply hilarious. Afterwards, we would talk about the whole thing and you would fume silently while our parents scolded you.
..............................................
I sit here recalling all these things about you when I really don't care. I have to keep telling myself that I hate you. After all that you took from me over the years, I have to hate you. I sit here until day turns night and I hear the scratching at my back door....just as every night before it. I sit here at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee and then I see your pale face peer around the corner and your dead nails begin to scratch at the screen. When you see me sitting here, you smile and breath harder...almost panting.

"Brother...You're here." you smile bigger.

I take a sip of my coffee then decide to speak to you tonight. Why not, I am so very tired of this ...this thing we have become. I must admit...by now, I am a monster as well. My thoughts have become so monstrous and hideous that I claim the family right to be a part of the monstrosity.

I speak softly. "yes, little sister...I am here."

Your breathing grows rapid and you scratch harder at the door. "Pp...Please, will...will you let me in. I only want to talk to you."

I laughed and put my hand over my mouth. The tears well up and threaten to overtake me. My heart is breaking as I pull the little gold chain from my pocket and hold it in front of the light. The tiny cross twinkles in the light above me.


"Talk...say what you want, Carmen. There is no need to let you in." I speak frankly and glance at her quickly.

I cannot look long at her coutanence. She is undead and the undead have gift of seduction. No matter how dirty from the grave they seem, they can charm the living to follow them to any lengths. I turn away quicly for my own soul and as I said before, I will not join her in death.

She grows angry as she always does and turns her head up toward the sky. She howls and gnashes her teeth, digging her sharp canines into her lower lip.

"You are my brother, how can you forsake me? We were together through everythihng...please...I need you. I have nothing else...no one." She cried red tears down her sullen face...her dead dead face...her evil coniving and horrible face. She cried for the same reason that she always cried...she cried for vengeance.

I drink the remainder of my coffee and stand. With heavy feet, I walk toward the screen door and look at her. I feel myself growing toward her, pulling toward her and being drawn into what ever she wants. Then, for some reason, I show her the cross. She cringes and hide her face from me. A volley of curse word erupt from her cold lips and she curls her purtid fingers over her eyes.

"please....please...don't hurt me. Don't hurt me anymore. I love you!" Her words are as unbelievably human as my actions for the last several years. For years, she never left the city in hopes that she could bring me over to her side. Or maybe she didn't leave for other reasons. I may never know because I had made my decision on this night.

I stepped back and shut the larger wooden door and left her to scream.
...........................

High noon at Williamson's Memorial Cemetary

I couldn't bear it anymore and that is why I had to do what I didn't want to do for so long. I had to come to you, uninhibited.

I rolled up my jacket and placed it beneathe my head. I would sleep here until nightfall.
Many times, I had witnessed you coming from this tomb. I will wait here until you return, walking ghostlike through this doorway. I will be here for you...no doors, no windows....no crosses. There will be no boundaries between you and I.

Here, I will see what lies before me. Should it be my death or yours....
little sister?

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