death is my answer

She shook me furiously. I looked into her green eyes and saw fear there. I saw her desperation and felt her talons sinking into my flesh.
"did you eat it?" she stared wildly at my face. I was groggy and so I tried to focus on her freckles.
"why don't you go away? You are dead, you shouln'd even be here in my room!" I pushed her away from me and tried to stand. Everything was spinning around me. The masks on the wall shimmered and shook. Even death's jawbone on the head of bed started to writhe like white worms.
"Hey, I am trying to keep you here! What did you eat?" Her red hair fell in her face and she pushed it back with her blackened fingers. The soil beneathe her nails looked like glue, compacted and hard. I felt her dry fingers rasp against my flesh then and I cringed.
"stop touching me!" I tried to stand again and finally grew the ability to stumble back toward the door. She looked at me and tilted her head...or was that me....I felt myself falling again. Before I could a way to stop my descent, I hit the floor hard, whacking my head.
It was all rubble...all of it. The wall had been destroyed sometime while I was in the asylum. I rememberd the loud explosion and realized that everything that I had worked to fortify was crumbled on the forest floor...lost among the brambles of my heart. I saw the moon shining brightly up above and the stars were there too. I felt like I was in some sort of strange heaven where all things must end eventually. I smiled and touched my mouth to see if the smile was real.
There was a black thing against the moon. It grew larger as it grew near. I knew what it was and I simply did not care anymore. I knew the entity as I knew my own soul. I loved him too and I think that I had always loved him...in different times, different places...where he roamed deep within my dark heart.
I turned away from him in fear of what I had done. I heard his bones clack against the crumbled brick and brambles of my heart. I would not turn...I would not yeild. But the hand of death was firm and landed upon the dip in my shoulder. I shivered.

"Please....get up!!!" Her horrid hands pulled at my hair and my skin. I felt anger rising as my body fought with its concrete stillness. I wanted to rise and to slap her. I wanted to put my hand to her rotten mouth sit her down. But, I could not move. I was paralyzed by my own decisions.
"leave....mmme...alonne." I struggled weakly to brush her off but she just kept coming at me.

I ate the apple first because I thought it was fake food. I saw the roast, the chicken, the potatos and so I ate the apple. I wanted death, I loved death...but I was uncommitted and unsure...so I ate the apple.
His hand was odd there...and it did not move. I did not turn to him because my tears had blazed a trail down my cold face and I did not care to show my weaknesses.
Death came round and took my face in his hands. I knew it was time and there was no more to say....
There is no more to say to anyone....or anything. There is no more reason or exucuse. There is no more love or hatred for anything.
There is no more at all....I have given the reasons for my departure and that is enough.
Anna stopped shaking me and stood there weeping. Her tired little head tilted and fell to the side. Her heart grew cold. AS her little body crumpled to the floor beside mine, I finally felt her heart, soul and mind at peace.
I closed my eyes and went to sleep.