The Nature of the Beast 5 ( The duality)

When my eyes met hers, she relented to my stare. I spoke once more and it was all that I was going to say on that matter.

 

“yes, I love him…and that is why I would never…never…ever……take something that is not feely given from someone that I truly love.”

 

I left her standing there in the darkness of my mind.

 

I came to my little shack, opened the door and sat against the wall.

 

I thought of Lawrence and hoped that he would make it back safely.

 

 

In reality, I really do not know what to say about him. He was always very courteous to me, smiling and being a right gentleman. There was always this undertone of something though. I could smell something in his demeanor, it smelled sweet and alluring and sometimes I had to turn away because it was so strong. Lawrence would always end our conversations quickly as if he had to get away. I believed this to be that he didn’t really care for my company all that much, like the girls of the village. Then there were times that his face would light up when he seen me. I was confused, to be quite honest and so I left it alone and tried to fit in with the other girls. Of course that would be a lost cause and now I am in the forest in the company of me.

 

Lawrence stayed away for a bit and I really didn’t know what to make of it. Had he grown tired of spying on me? Were the women teaching him that I was bad business? I had no idea why and I realized that I was worrying entirely too much about someone from the outside of my existence. I resolved to think of other things…things like my studies. The others Andreea, Ona and myself, we sat sitting by the fire again and learned the ways of the Duality.

 

The Duality, unlike the Triad was placed in existence to teach us that everything has darkness and light. My sisters put their hands on the fire and spoke together.

 

“Mother earth put out the fire, show us darkness in this shire”.

 

All was black as long as my sisters held down the embers of the dying fire. The looked up and I looked up with them.

 

Andreea spoke. “You see…up there, the stars, the great mother moon. Their home is pure.”

 

I looked up at the moon and cringed. I knew the moon for things

unspeakable. It’s face reminded me of nights covered in the gore of my kill. I did not see the moon as my friend. The others frowned toward me as they noticed my face had grown angry.

 

Ona spoke. “We know why you hate the moon so. You must not hate the moon. The moon is not at fault for your pain. The moon is there to guide you. See it for the beauty it is.”

 

At that, I left the fire. I didn’t finishe my lessons that night nor did I return to the fire for a weeks past. The sisters did not come to me either; they let me work through my pain. By the time I was ready to return to the fire, the fullness of the moon was very nearly upon me.

 

I walked up to their circle, fire burning brightly; and sat down upon mother earth. The lesson that night was about wolf. I tried not to flinch, I tried not to grow angry. I learned that wolf was the light. The sisters pointed back to the moon and smiled at me.

 

“see, your dear friend holds the light for another, like a jar full of fireflies. The light is life and the light resides in the wolf.

 

I was disgusted by them. This time I left the fire and did not return until my moon had passed. When I returned from the hunt on the last night of the blood moon, I told them that I had no more interest in Raven and wolf. They said they would teach me other things instead.

 

Their disapproval was obvious. I stared into my own face, three fold around the fire. I saw my own disappointment reflected…..as I had saw the beast in the water’s surface reflecting a part of me as well