October 23, 2002
I do not recall how it occured or if it was all a figment of my imagination; but it seemed so real. The obvious connection we had and the intensity that flowed between us; was it true or was my mind struggling to create a fantasy? I do not know for sure but I know it will not go away.
Timothy was different. Yes, he was just another guitar playing brat no older than twenty…but something made him stand out from the other kids. Its like the pull of a magnet or the hunger of a starved child…so powerful. He was average build, with dark brown hair–you know, your ordinary guy. To most even boring, but not to me. His eyes held a depth unimaginable to most and his steps were always sure of themselves. Timothy smiled and the whole world seemed to change for that moment. All the sadness, the wars, the pain–the thoughts of darkness seemed to shrink back into my brain when he looked at me. He was a drug-no an antidote and I found myself addicted to him. If he knew he projected such energy…I do not know, but I know that he couldn’t contain it. That little something simply radiated from him almost to the point of visibility and I found myself, as a pitiful child wanting more…never satisfied by him. Timothy was not human-couldn't be and I was determined to find out why he was the reason I was restless.
October 31, 2002
Just a normal Halloween except for the fact that it was seventy degrees and I was thinking of a way to talk to the quiet musician. We never had classes together but I learned his schedule by the patterns he made between classes. Yes, I guess some would label me as a stalker but it wasn’t the case this time. I only purposefully placed myself in his path a couple of times and then I didn’t know what to say. Sometimes I was a blithering idiot. My words, on many occasions, ended up being stupid and redundant. I used events and situations as an excuse to talk to him. Unfortunately most of the time, I ended up staring into the darkness of his eyes and losing all sense of reality. Those eyes are marvelous you know…they are shaped like upside down crescent moons and when he smiled they almost completely close. I love the eyes. They tell the truth you know.
November 3, 2002
I saw him when I was leaving the cafeteria today and he was beautiful. Have you ever seen the movies where time slows down and a look lasts forever? Well that happen to me and I am still stunned from the electricity of it. My best friend was walking beside me and I kept elbowing her in the side to look at him. For some reason she kept saying she couldn’t see him…that just pissed me off royally. I told her that he looked like Jesus with his new beard he was growing. I feel kinda bad now too because when I look at the picture of the messiah on my wall I think of Timothy. What is happening to me?
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