Sunday, January 26, 2014

Timothy and the String Thing, a journal of strange love Part 2

November 15, 2002

I saw Timothy watching me today outside the math building. It was when I skipped my lab class and fell asleep in the courtyard behind Macon Hall. I woke up but didn’t move as I felt his eyes on me. He thought I was still asleep as he stared at me. It was kind of funny when he tripped over the steps in front of the library….and he thought I didn’t see that. That is what he gets for walking with his head turned. Such euphoric sensations went through me as I made circles in the air with me hands. I noticed how my arms resembled snakes from Beetlejuice with their striped arm warmers. I found myself thinking of him but concentrating on the movement of my hands. It was hypnotising. Lying on the concrete bench, I could feel the coolness of the rock as I came back slowly to reality. A few moments later, I wandered up the small incline to the library and pretended to be looking for someone. (Actually, it was him that I was looking for….but I pretended that it wasn’t.) I caught him looking at me again right before he dropped his head back into what ever book he was reading. He was so sexy, pushing his glasses up his nose and trying to look intelligent. What a nerd. I let him know I saw him as I wandered out the opposite door. Boy did he seem nervous today.

November 17, 2002

I cant take it anymore…I hate him!

November 20, 2002

He talked to me today. Me and Leslie were getting our books out of our cars in the parking lot between classes. It really surprised me that I would run into Timothy. My stupid phone was acting up and I was frantically trying to save my ring tone. He spoke and I turned around. My luck would be that the most corny song on my phone would happen to sound off loudly. I  am surprised I didn’t drop my phone, the way I was gawking at him and my breath caught as his eyes met mine. Wow…what power he held over me. He wanted to talk to me and I had no clue what I would say, but somehow, the whole conversation went smoothly. Unbelieveable…I did not make a fool of myself and he smiled at me the whole time. I think I am falling.

November 30, 2002

I am so confused. One day he acts like he really likes me and the next he acts like I don’t even exist. Is it my imagination  to think that there could ever be anything more than friendship between us? Timothy told me that he didn’t want to go to the concert with me and he was too busy to talk. So I decided to say…forget it. Forget him and all his stupid responsibilities. I dont need him and he isn’t that special anyway. Besides, he shaved his beard off and cut his hair the day after I pulled a strand of it after class. I was just playing around. How could someone be that sensitive and he really looks like a nerd now…an adolescent nerd. You know, I dont think he likes me touching him at all.

January 2, 2003

Well, it had been a month and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had an idea that day that really cost me alot. I decided to find Timothy on the internet. I had tried this before but with no success. But when this ditsy girl that had a crush on him told me he was on this social site, it was too much to resist. She even went as far as to tell me some of the things he posted. It was hard hiding my excitement from her but I think she is none-the- wiser. I found his profile only after a few minutes and sent him a friend request. He accepted. But the kicker is that I changed my name and put up a cartoon avatar so he wouldn’t know who I was. I really thought that this was the only way to let him know how I felt. It was a really stupid thing to do and now I regret. it.

I made my profile and gave myself a name. My name is Lee, lee Anne and now I am officially a victim of strange love, the strange love that makes us do strange things.

March 12, 2003

It all fell apart and he knows who I am. He even told a lot of other people who I am too. I contacted him and told him how I feel and now I am a laughing stock. My friends wont talk to me because some other girl got blamed for stalking him first and it caused a lot of drama.

I think I will just fade away because love is strange but I shall never forget the boy with the string thing, even though he hates me and I cant stop thinking about him.

No comments:

Post a Comment